|WRESTLING BITS AND BITES||WRITTEN: December 10, 2001|
The PPV rocked. I could have done without McMahon being around during the main event, but I think I'm starting to accept the fact that we'll NEVER go 2 consecutive pay-per-views with a McMahon run in of some kind, so whatever
As for the picks, we had 17 or 18 people playing, so rather than list EVERYONE here, I'll simply direct you elsewhere. Some quick stats, Aaron Brooks is still ranked #1 following a 7-0 night and an overall record of 26-5. Bill Gilman is the "smart" picker now at 19-2 over the past 3 months. I went 3-4 to bring myself to 15-21 overall. Player of the night was Thomas Peluso who was 7-0 and correctly identified Jericho as the guy who would walk off with the belt. Thanks to everyone - and we'll do it again at the Rumble!
My pay-per-view recap will probably be up sometime in the next few days. Ditto with one from Mayhem 1999. BrewGuy did a great recap of the show as well though, so go read it!
JR sounds nasal tonight.
Ric Flair is in tha house! He's got a couple of belts with him. Last night at Vengeance, Flair promised he would present the undisputed WWF World Championship belt to the champion. Chris Jericho hits the scene. Hey, my brother has a shirt like that. It's a sign. I'm not sure what KIND of sign, but a sign nonetheless. "You suck." He thanks the crowd. He has a long list of people to thank for tonight. "Rocky." One person has always believed in him, even when no one else did. That person is him. What a shock! He goes into a hilarious thank you speech for himself. He also thanks the competitors who gave him an A-1 fight, Rocky and Steve Austin. They're the two biggest stars in the WWF, and he beat them both back to back single-handedly within 45 minutes. He also wants to thank the fans, the little people. If it wasn't for him realizing fans are nothing, he wouldn't be the star he is today. He also wants to thank one of the owners of this company Vince McMahon. He evened the odds to make sure the better man won, so thank you Vince. Last but not least, he wants to thank Ric Flair. He thanks Ric for presenting him with the belts. He bestows the honor of presenting Chris with the belts. "Rocky." Ric tells Chris he's going to defend the title tonight inside a 15 foot high steel cage. It'll be against Steve Austin. I'm not feeling TOO worried about that one. Maybe I should?
LUGZ BOOT OF THE WEEK - RVD DIES
The Undertaker is out with the belt and a motorcycle. "Making his way around the ring, The Undertaker!" says Lillian. He's facing Little Spike Dudley. I'm torn, who would YOU pick? Undertaker behaves like a dick blocking EVERYTHING that gets thrown into the ring half assed. Spike gets on Taker's bike to mock him, so Taker chases. Spike dives into the ring, then off the apron into Taker's waiting arms. SQUASH CITY! That match was a ball! Taker continues the beating with a chokeslam to the floor. Now THAT is funny.
Vince McMahon comes face to face with Ric Flair. Booker T is here as Vince's special guest tonight. Flair tells Vince that Jericho is defending his title against Steve Austin. Since Rocky and Trish were such a great tag-team last week, that makes them number one contenders, so they'll face the Dudley Boyz tonight. I smell a title change.
BOOKER T HEADS TO VINCE'S PERSONAL BOX
Up in their seats they check out the action.
Kurt Angle has new music. How dare they. Despite the travesty that took place last night, he's requested this match tonight for one reason only. For Mr. McMahon. What happened to Vince on Smackdown! last week is a horror that should never be talked about again. So here's a look at that video and again in slow motion! After he beats Rikishi, he's dedicating this match to him. So we have Kurt Angle vs. Rikishi for the 582347th time! Yeah, he's just back for the first time in ages, but CHRIST they STILL don't have a new opponent for him? Rikishi charges, Kurt falls in the corner and we're still doing this are we? Kurt escapes the Stink Face. Hey, I remember this VERY FINISH happening when Kurt had the European and IC Titles. Kurt comes back in the ring, and gets a Stink Face. Sorry, I've NEVER liked Rikishi and I'm far from pleased to see him back still pulling this crap. Kurt goes insane and kills Rikishi with a chair. It seems a little early to be setting up a Royal Rumble match, so we'll see where this goes.
REGISTER FOR THE SHOPZONE AND WIN A CHANCE TO GET A CALL FROM A SUPERSTAR
Read between the lines - spend a FORTUNE in the shopzone and get a call.
Bubba is all nervous about something. He's worried about facing an undefeated tag-team. He finally starts laughing at the idea of facing The Rock and Trish. D-Von agrees there's no way they can beat those two. Bubba thinks the best way to handle the match is for D-Von to take care of The Rock and he'll take care of Trish.
Lance Storm bursts into Ric Flair's office. He bought a ticket and snuck backstage. He's ready to go if Flair has a match. Flair says no.
The Coach stands with Edge. He has a message for Regal. He makes fun of the ass kissing. Regal attacks wearing his knuckle dusters, which are ONLY an accessory! Edge goes down to that stiff right hand.
THIS WINTER, CHECK OUT HOW HIGH IN THEATRES IF YOU'RE REALLY REALLY BORED
That was a TWO minute commercial, and I have NO idea what the hell it's about.
Will Sasso managed to get ANOTHER front row seat. Hey, remember when he feuded with Bret Hart?
Lance Storm again tries to get a job. The director says "we can't hear it". I can almost feel the WCW comparisons coming except this show has been really good.
Teddy Long searches William Regal for knuckle dusters. He's facing Kane, who has issues with The Big Show. Kane's mask seems exceptionally evil tonight. Regal grabs the knucks from ringside, but Kane gets a boot up to stop him from using it. Kane goes for a chokeslam, and we watch some signs in the crowd, which must mean he's using the brass knucks. And when we come back, Kane is down, 1, 2, 3.
TOP OF THE HOUR MAIN EVENT - TAG-TEAM TITLES
Vince and Booker T smile and wave in the direction of The Rock. JR wonders "wouldn't it be something if Mr. McMahon's plans backfired " Yeah, it'd be something alright. Rocky beats the Dudleys like a couple of government mules. Yep. One has to wonder if the booking committee actively sits down and asks themselves "what combination of The Rock vs. The Dudleys can we book tonight?" JR wonders when Rocky's on the verge of winning if we can believe this. Yes, I've seen him win handicap matches against these guys. Trish goes the Dudley Wassup Drop on D-Von. They follow by doing it on Stacy. Test runs down to ringside, which I guess is a followup to last night. Trish takes a 3D, Dudleys retain. Thank god. Vince and Booker applaud Test kicking the crap out of Rocky.
NO CHANCE SIGNALS IT'S TIME FOR OUR SECOND INTERVIEW OF THE NIGHT
Vince and Booker wave to the crowd because they're friendly. Rocky closed the Kiss My Ass club for good. Sure the fans laughed, but last night he laughed loudest. There's a new club - the Vince McMahon Kick Your Ass Club. YAY!
Lita cries to Matt. She doesn't want to fight him. She loves him. He booked this match because he wants her to use her plans against him face to face. Matt says like the Hardy Boyz, they're breaking up. Jeff comes by to comfort the she devil.
THANK YOU FOR PURCHASING VENGEANCE ON WWF.COM
It's Those Punk Kids SQUEAL! Well, they squeal until they see Matt. Michael Clarke Duncan beats up Jerry Lawler. I hope security beats his ass. Lita tries to talk sense into Matt, but he SHOVES her out of the way and KICKS JEFF'S ASS! Now, THAT is how an angry brother reacts. JR: "She needs comforting." Lawler: "She DOES?" Jeff mounts Matt in the crowd that's it, I'm outta here! Lita's still crying. Christ, it's been 10 minutes, get over it! Lita decides to hit the Litacanrana, but Jeff misses the Swanton. Matt rolls Lita up in a REALLY tight package, GOODNIGHT! She throws a fit. Now she's behaving like Hulk Hogan everytime he gets thrown out of a battle royal.
Lance Storm goes to harass Flair again. He wants just one match to prove himself to Flair. He's tired of seeing him. He grants Storm a match. If he loses he NEVER wants to see him again.
LANCE STORM RETURNS TO TV
Excellent, I've missed him getting serious TV time. And he's facing I suspect The Big Show. And sure enough, it's THE mystery opponent of mystery opponents. What are the going odds that Kane interferes and Storm keeps his job? Show beats the hell out of Storm. This is the match of the night! CHOKESLAM! 1, 2, 3! Hey, this reminds me of Disco Inferno trying to join the New World Order!
Booker T eats food served up from that chick we saw earlier. Lots of shits and giggles here.
THE ROYAL RUMBLE IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY FINAL FANTASY X
Here's that U2 Beautiful Day video that "compensated" for HHH not showing up at Vengeance last night.
Steve Austin asks that question that's on everyone's mind WHAT? He's gonna take the title, and that's the bottom line 'cause Stone Cold said so.
STEVE AUSTIN WUZ SCREWED
Steve Austin does NOT come out to an instrumental version of Disturbed. And anyone who EVER thought so is an IDIOT.
Jericho doesn't want to get in the ring and JR plugs the barbecue sauce. Austin gets tired of waiting and jumps Jericho. Right before he pastes him with the chair, Jericho scales the cage. Austin goes in by the door and we're off. Jericho sees Austin and tries to climb right back out again. Austin whips Jericho across the ring and he promptly tries to climb out again. He's a thinker. Jericho beats down Austin and exposes the turnbuckle. Austin doesn't feel the turnbuckle though. Austin thinks about leaving, but comes back to beat Jericho down some more. Bulldog, Lionsault, start the long climb. He gets yanked in. Jericho has Austin on the floor and almost escapes but Austin pulls him back in by his feet. So Jericho hits a Stunner on Austin. Jericho is almost out again, but Austin again pulls him back in. Jericho gets tossed into the side of the cage three times, and Austin exposes the turnbuckles in the corner. Face first goes Jericho into the corner over and over. Jericho starts bleeding like a faucet. Austin starts to head out, and Jericho flips Austin the bird. I won't go making comparisons to other cage matches, no siree. Austin hits a Stunner, heads out, but there's Booker T to slam the cage shut on Austin. Jericho escapes. Goodnight!