Those creepy girls are back, and still talking in their dreary voices. As usual, WWE manages to come through with an awesome looking video package that has everything to do with the theme, and little to do with the show. But I'll take it!

We're LIVE from Nashville, Tennessee. Announcers, as they have been for the better part of the past 9 years, are Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler. Fans are at The World, which I'm going to assume is WWE New York, and you're welcome to correct me if I'm wrong.

EDDIE GUERRERO vs. ROB VAN DAM (for the WWE Intercontinental Title)

We have some jaw jacking taking place - RVD shoves Eddie - Guerrero takes a swipe, RVD ducks - RVD nails Eddie. Side headlock, shoved off, RVD hits a shoulderblock, cover 1, kickout. Eddie with a boot to the midsection - headlock is shoved off, Eddie turns, and takes a clothesline. 1, 2, no. Eddie gets powerslammed, 1, 2, Eddie rolls on out to the floor. The champ is not happy, barking in Spanish. Fans chant for RVD. Eddie slowly gets back in, and they lockup. RVD is shoved back to the turnbuckle, and the ref wants a break. Eddie lets go, and hammers at RVD right away. Two uppercuts hit - whip across the ring - RVD gets a boot up as Eddie blindcharges. RVD goes to the second rope, fakes a jump, Eddie drops to the mat to avoid it, then hits the split legged moonsault on the open Guerrero! Nice sequence! Here come some kicks to the back - whip - backdrop. Spinning legdrop, cover, 1, 2, Eddie kicks out. RVD kicks Eddie in the head, and takes some shots. Whip is reversed, RVD avoids the backdrop, then hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker with extra twist! 1, 2, Guerrero kicks out. More kicks to the back now by the challenger, and a knee is driven in for fun. RVD stands on Eddie's legs…I smell a surfboard. RVD had trouble getting it up, drops an elbow across the back, then goes back to it. Sure enough, he gets it up - and when I say up, I mean STRAIGHT up. RVD drops him back onto his shoulders, 1, 2, both guys turn to get their shoulders up. Eddie is picked back up in the hold, and I'm simply wincing trying to imagine that pain from BOTH guys. RVD throws him off, and gets a loud round of applause for that. Standing moonsault, 1, 2, Eddie's out. Eddie begs off, and heads to the corner. RVD hammers away until the referee breaks that up. A right hand nails RVD right in the face, and Guerrero starts stomping away. In the corner he punches and kicks, and refuses to stop. A choke with the boot follows, and Eddie heads to the outside. Dragging RVD to the apron, Eddie drags his forearm across the nose. Now THAT'S being a dick! Eddie keeps working in the corner, and as RVD tries a comeback Eddie pokes him in the eyes. Whip is reversed - RVD on the mat, and launches Eddie with his feet. Eddie holds the back again, and he appears to be in a helluva lot of pain. Both guys trade punches in the corner, and Guerrero wins it. Whip to the opposite corner is reversed, Eddie lands chest first, and RVD drives his shoulder into Eddie's back. Backs off - Eddie turns - monkey flip! Eddie is put on RVD's shoulders and launched right to the ropes throat first! Bounces off, RVD coming off the ropes, Rolling Thunder! Cover, 1, 2, shoulder up. RVD scoops Eddie up, Eddie rolls away, grabs RVD, tight package, 1, 2, RVD kicks out! Eddie tries a kick, RVD grabs it, step over heel kick, Eddie's down. RVD leaps to the top, Eddie's on him right away, and RVD is dropped right on the jewels. Eddie pulls him off…powerbomb! Eddie's back is really hurting as he heads up top. "I FEEL FROGGY!" Froggie Splash MISSES as RVD rolls away. They trade punches, RVD hits the roundhouse kick, and Eddie's down. RVD up top - the fans stand in anticipation…Five Star Frogsplash ALSO MISSES, and both guys are down! Referee gets the count to 8, and both men stand. We have us a staredown. Eddie DARES him to come forward, RVD does so, RVD lies down, off the other end we have a leapfrog, RVD ducks a clothesline, and finally the crossbody is hit! 1, 2, Eddie JUST shoulders out. RVD waits for Eddie, and Eddie pokes him in the eyes. Uppercut is hit - second attempt fails and RVD goes for a backslide. 1, 2, Eddie kicks out! Now Eddie blocks a roundhouse kick and turns it into a backslide, 1, 2, feet on ropes, 3!

Time: 10:55
***3/4

Bold prediction, RVD pins Eddie Guerrero in the semi-finals or finals of the King Of The Ring tournament - Intercontinental Title NOT on the line.

Vince McMahon, Stacy Keibler, and the prayer group are backstage. "Oh brothers and sisters, every head needs to be bowed, and every eye closed because it's time for prayer, oh yes. Oh brothers and sisters, and prophet Vince, we come to you (Vince is checking out Stacy's goods) right now to reinsure the safety of Sister Stacy Keibler. And we come to you once again to reinsure a victory over that no good jezebel Trish Stratus. And oh we come once again… (Vince clears his throat) hah, Amen!" "Amen. Now you're certain your brother Bubba is not too likely to show up here tonight?" "Oh Brother Vince, Prophet Vince I should say hah, I spoke to Bubba personally and I told him he'd better not show up tonight or he'd have HELL to pay." "I understand that. Well uh, goodluck." "You'll be watching right?" "I won't miss a second of it. I may be late for the celebration party, I have someone important to go see but I'll be watching every moment." Vince makes sure to check out Stacy's ass one more time.

That crazy woman gets the F out…by burning a hedge.

TRISH STRATUS (with Bubba Ray Dudley) vs. STACY KEIBLER (with D-Von Dudley and Deacon Batista) (for the WWE Women's Title)

This is the second time tonight the champ has entered first. Stacy makes noise to D-Von about the fact Bubba's around - which gives Trish a chance to attack from behind to get us started. Whip is reversed - Trish ducks a clothesline, and sells a roundhouse kick that appears to miss. Oops. 1, 2, Trish kicks out. Trish is whipped, and backdropped. Stacy tries a cover, 1, 2, Trish is up. Trish is yanked up by the hair, but she spins and clotheslines Stacy back down. Another clothesline. Trish with a double leg takedown manoeuvres Stacy into a Boston crab. Stacy screams for dear life, but uses her massive legs to power out right into a pinning situation, 1, 2, Trish sits up and Stacy's down, 1, 2, Stacy kicks away. Trish charges, ducks a clothesline, boot, neckbreaker! Into the cover, 1, 2, Stacy kicks out. Trish works in some shots to Stacy's head, and boots her out of the ring. Stacy shows she's spent time training with Christian by throwing a tantrum on the floor. Bubba comes over and lets out a loud laugh right in her face - so Stacy slaps him. Hard. Bubba reacts as you'd expect him. Off with the glasses, and he tells her to never ever do it again. While the ref tells Bubba to back off, Deacon Batista gets in and slams Trish. Stacy hustles back in, covers, 1, 2, Trish gets her shoulder up. Stomp to the back, another, and Stacy puts on a Camel Clutch variation, with hands around Trish's throat. Stepping on her back now, Stacy pulls back on Trish's hair. Whip - Trish with a big kick right to Stacy's face. Trish baseball slides to hit Deacon away, and sidesteps as Stacy charges and he gets on the apron - leading to a clothesline to Deacon. Bulldog from Trish to Stacy, cover, 1, 2, 3!

Time: 2:53
3/4*

D-Von gets into the ring - charges, but Trish rolls out and he hits the corner. Trish takes off to the back, and we have a face to face confrontation with Bubba and D-Von. D-Von wants a big hug, and after thinking about it, he shakes D-Von's hand. From behind the Deacon attacks, and Bubba launches him over the top to the floor. Now D-Von rushes Bubba and clotheslines him. D-Von looks at his hands, and seems to regret the move. Deacon's back in to stomp away on Bubba, but D-Von tells him to lay off. Bubba gets to his knees slowly, D-Von makes the international sign of the cross, and kicks Bubba. "Get the table". Deacon complies. "I didn't want this my brother, but you must learn. Sinning is wrong! It is wrong! You understand? Oh my brother, I shall make you see the light!" The table is set up, and the fans chant for Bubba. Powerbomb is set…Bubba backdrops Deacon and grabs D-Von by the throat in the corner. Deacon runs at him with the money box and takes him out. Double flapjack for Bubba, right through the table. D-Von's music plays.

Ric Flair and Arn Anderson have a conversation about Steve Austin, and Vince McMahon comes in. He offers his hand, and Arn shakes it. "Well well well, if it isn't the Nature Boy himself Ric Flair. Ric, what do you say?" Ric shakes his hand and we have a big grin from both guys. "Hello Vince McMahon. Let me tell you something, you were right all along. That Austin's a no good son of a bitch, I don't know how I could have ever second guessed you. He's done everything possible to disrupt the RAW brand and my power. But tonight Vince, unlike you, I'm taking Austin down. I'm getting the reigns put right through his mouth - a bit, I'm gonna have Austin under control." "Good luck man." And here's a hug from Vince, but his face turns to disgust while he's doing it.

Here's a shot outside the Gaylord Entertainment Centre.

THE HARDY BOYZ vs. BROCK LESNAR and PAUL HEYMAN

Heyman's dressed in black running clothes from head to toe - with a backwards Yankees hat to finish the ensemble. Jeff Hardy lunges over the top right away…and right into the arms of Brock. Matt swings his legs to the outside, and kicks Jeff right on top of Brock who falls. Both guys get to stomping on the big guy, then see Paul. Paul runs into the corner of the ring, and hides. The Hardys stalk him, but Lesnar's back up and clotheslines the both of them from behind. Jeff is picked up, and run right into the corner. Here come the shoulderblocks. Whip across the ring - Lesnar charges and gets kicked back. Jeff to the top - and caught again. Belly to belly overhead suplex is hit, and Jeff is looking suspiciously like a human ragdoll. Scoop, Jeff on the shoulders, Lesnar tries to run him into the corner, but Jeff slides off and shoves Brock into it. Tag out to Matt. He ducks a clothesline, and hits some right hands. Lesnar turns that right around into the shoulderblocks in the corner. Here it comes - "GOLDBERG! GOLDBERG!" Yes yes yes! Fans rule! Hardy is thrown into the opposite corner - gorilla press fails, but Matt runs right into a powerslam. Matt gets hammered to the ground - whipped into the corner - and backdropped. Scoop - backbreaker. Lesnar again shoulderblocks Matt in the corner - whips him across the ring - Matt comes out and hits the tornado DDT! Tag out to Jeff, right, right, right, whip is reversed - Jeff climbs the turnbuckle, Whispering Wind. Jawbreaker, double leg takedown, Matt's on the second turnbuckle - legdrop/legdrop to nuts combo from the Boyz. Poetry In Motion does hit - and Lesnar is clotheslined to the outside. Jeff Hardy chases Heyman around the ring - right into Matt. The hat falls off, Heyman's still bald, Poetry In Motion. Lesnar brags Matt out and works him over. Jeff goes to the top - Lesnar stands in Heyman's way - he leaps and finds himself in Brock's arms again. Brock's strength gives out, he falls back, 1, 2, just kicks out. Whip is reversed - Jeff is elevated right at Matt and knocks him off the apron. Into Brock's arms, this should be it. Inverted TKO, Heyman DESPERATELY wants a tag! He trips over the ropes, 1, 2, 3!

Time: 4:45
*1/2

Heyman's all grins in the post match celebration. "Heyman looks like a cow on ice!" Which would make you what JR? Heyman: "I'm undefeated!" Sonny Onoo 2K2 right there!

Another WWE Divas special this month… Tropical Pleasures - on pay-per-view.

Booker T is standing with Marc Loyd. He's wearing an n.W.o. t-shirt, and Loyd says it appears he's embraced the idea. "My feelings, hey man, business is business. Ric Flair, he's the boss. He chose me, Booker T as the newest member of the n.W.o. Me Booker T, the 5 time WCW champion, he feel like I can get the job done, I'm down with that. Hey man, I'm a professional and as a professional… (He sees something he likes) Excuse me dawg." Booker wanders over to find an attractive woman. He offers his autograph, and she suggests he sign a special place. Eyes bug out - and she hands him a key to her hotel room. I have no idea why I should be liking this…but I do.

Here's a close up of barber supplies next to a barber chair.

A video package of Steve Austin and Ric Flair is shown.

THE BIG SHOW and RIC FLAIR vs. STEVE AUSTIN

JR actually brings up Lil Naitch! I'm impressed. Kudos for that. Austin takes out both men all by himself. Backdrop for Flair, boots to Big Show - Stunner is shoved off and he still runs over Flair. More boots, and he starts with the rights. Double bird, double axehandle, down goes the Big Show. Austin starts for a figure four on the big man - but Flair is flying(!!!) off the top rope, so Austin stops to hit him in the midsection. Clothesline over the top rope to the floor. Double leg takedown to Big Show, lowblow, and he goes for the figure four. While he has it on, Flair gets in the ring and Austin is STILL able to take him out from his back. What a load… Now a bird to Flair, and the figure four is put on him. Show tries an elbowdrop, and Austin rolls out of the way. Austin's on the floor, and gets a chair. Charles Robinson orders that chair out of the ring. Robinson takes the chair away, so Austin rolls out and gets another one. Robinson is losing his mind. Austin sets the chair up and sits down. Here's a double bird for Robinson, and now the chairs are tossed away. Austin wants Flair down from the turnbuckle (I have NO idea why he's up there, but it's funny anyway) to face him one on one. So we get Flair and Austin. They circle eachother…and Austin stops to cheapshot Show. More circling, and we lockup. Headlock is shoved off - Austin runs Flair down with the shoulderblock. On the mat, Austin hammers away. Flair rolls to the floor and dares Austin to fight him there. Austin looks at his watch, and heads to the other side. He grabs a beer, offers it to Robinson - then pulls back and throws it away. Lockup…Flair's shoved into the ropes, and he takes down Austin with a shoulderblock. It only took 4:32 - but the team with the most amount of members finally got an offensive move in. That won't last - here's a backdrop. Flair begs off, and pokes Austin in the eye. Hahahaha! Chop, whooo! Chop, whooo! He goes to hammer Austin, but Austin turns it around and here come the chops. What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? Flair flop. Whip - backdrop. Flair again begs off, Austin mounts him in the corner, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, Flair pulls him out - goes for the atomic drop but it's BLOCKED? Oh Christ. Clothesline for Flair, and he tags out. The Big Show comes in, so Austin does pushups. Show has had enough, runs Austin to the corner and chops him. Austin grins. Lockup, back to the corner, another big chop. Lockup again, chop misses, and Austin hits about a dozen right hands. Whip is reversed - and Austin takes a big boot. Tag out to Flair. Flair's strutting now. "How about it now?" Flair strikes him down, pulls the ref into a certain position, then hits a big lowblow! Flair thrusts his pelvis in the direction of some fans, while The Big Show enjoys a hearty laugh on the apron. Chops are traded and we get a whooo/what? going. Flair heads to the top and of course gets caught. Austin stomps him in the corner, Show comes in, and Austin attacks. Off the ropes - right into a powerslam. Robinson orders Show out of the ring, and he laughs some more. Flair covers, 1, 2, Austin kicks out. Flair kicks at Austin's ribs, and tells a punk to shut his mouth. In the corner, here come the chops again. Another pelvis thrust, but this one's for Austin because he's SCREWING HIM! (And not using any lube - yikes!) Single leg takedown, Flair works the leg, and tags in Big Show. Show drops the elbow down on Austin a few times - then slams the knee into the ring. He does it a second time, then drops a leg on it. Tag out to Flair. Figure four is tried - but Austin gets a cradle, 1, 2, Flair kicks out. Clothesline takes down Flair. Flair gets to his feet and starts to kick over the knee again. The figure four is applied properly - and Austin has nowhere to go! Austin falls back, 1, 2, he gets up. Austin manages to turn it over - and Flair's in trouble now! Big Show stops that though by coming in and dropping an elbow across Austin's back. A hiptoss from Flair is blocked and turned into a backslide, 1, 2, Flair kicks away. Flair chops Austin, comes off the ropes and nails him once more in the head. Time to trade the chops again, as the crowd goes into duelling whoooo/what? chants once more. Off the ropes - Flair with a shoulderblock. Again he comes off the ropes - this time he's met with a spinebuster. Austin goes to the figure four now - and again Show's in to break that up. Tag out to The Big Show. He charges - and meets Austin's boot. A second charge - a second booting. Austin leaps to the second rope - and hits a big Thesz press. Elbow connects, Flair's in, and here's a Thesz press for him. Double axehandle hits - Flair's whipped and hit with another spinebuster. 1, 2, Big Show pulls Austin off. Show going for a Chokeslam, but Austin elbows away and hits a Stunner! Another boot, Show goes for a Chokeslam, here's X-Pac - and he accidently kicks Show in the chops! Stunner for X-Pac, Stunner for Flair, cover, 1, 2, 3.

Time: 15:34
**1/4

Even after the second viewing, I'm STILL not happy with this result but the match is decent. I can't see how this is supposed to trigger an Austin vs. Flair feud - but I guess that's why I don't make the big bucks.

We send things over to Michael Cole and Tazz. Michael Cole says tonight someone's gonna lose their hair - and sets up the highlight package that follows.

KURT ANGLE vs. EDGE (in a Hair vs. Hair Match)

Lockup, Kurt applies a front facelock, and drives Edge to the corner. The referee calls for a break, and we get one. Lockup, another front facelock, Kurt is shoved off, and he hits Edge with a shoulderblock. Kurt ducks a clothesline - whips Edge into the ropes, Edge comes off with a quick rollup, 1, 2, Kurt kicks away. Boot to the midsection from Kurt, and Edge is hit with a couple of quick punches. Whip is reversed - and Kurt gets tossed over the top rope and to the floor. Edge comes forward with a baseball slide dropkick, and works Kurt on the floor. Back in, Kurt stomps on Edge. Whip is reversed by Edge - and here's a backdrop. Kurt gets tied up in the ropes - Edge runs, and here's a spear! He tries again, Kurt gets untied - and launches Edge over the top with a belly to belly overhead suplex! Edge took a mansized bump on that one. Kurt rolls out, and throws Edge back into the ring. Here's a look at the barber chair, while Kurt stomps on Edge. Edge is walloped on in the corner - and the referee pulls Kurt away. "Angle sucks" chant erupts. Kurt doesn't like it. Whip is reversed by Kurt into the opposite corner - Edge bounces out, spinebuster, cover, 1, 2, Edge kicks out. Punch to Edge, Kurt picks him up by the hair, and drops him throat first on the second rope, using the knee to choke him out. Stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp - he breaks at 3. Whip is reversed and Kurt runs into an elbow. Kurt boots Edge in the midsection, DDT, cover, 1, 2, Edge kicks out. Kurt puts on a headlock, and tries to put Edge out cold. The arm is dropped twice - but Edge stays alive. He fights to his feet, and is dragged back down to the mat by his hair. Vertical suplex, 1, 2, Edge kicks away. Front facelock is applied down on the mat. Edge tries to get to his feet - and does. He elbows away - whips Kurt - and hits Kurt with a belly to belly overhead!!! Edge fires in some punches - goes for a whip which is reversed - and Edge hits the flying forearm. Clothesline hits - and a spinning heel kick takes him down. Reverse facebuster puts Edge in a pinning situation, 1, 2, Kurt kicks away. He stands and hits Edge with a belly to belly suplex. Kurt charges Edge - but he backdrops Kurt onto the apron, then dropkicks Kurt at the knees to take him down. Edge flies - plancha! Edge to the top rope - Kurt runs up to the top quickly, but Edge shoves him back down. Missile dropkick hits the target - 1, 2, Kurt kicks out! Kurt's quickly to his feet, German suplex! Kurt works some shots on the back - goes for the German suplex again, but Edge rolls forward, 1, 2, Kurt kicks away! Edge ducks a clothesline, boot to the midsection, Edgecution! Edge heads to the top, Kurt scoots up quick, and a super hiptoss hits! 1, 2, Edge JUST kicks out! Edge ducks a clothesline, and hits Kurt with a kick to the jaw. Edge heads up - HARD DDT from the top!!! 1, 2, SHOULDER UP! Kurt crawls to his feet - Edge comes over, whip is reversed - and Edge spears the referee as Kurt dives out of the way. Belly to belly overhead suplex has Edge landing right on his nose - owww! Kurt makes sure the referee is REALLY out, and goes to get himself a chair. He charges - and eats a spear. The referee remains dead. Edge crawls over to check him out, but he's still out. Edge preps another spear, but Kurt kicks him to block it - goes for the Olympic Slam - Edge off the ropes, SPEAR. Cover, 1, 2, KURT KICKS OUT!!!!!!!!!! Edge can't believe that one! Neither can I! Edge waits for Kurt - boot to the midsection, Kurt turns, SPEARS EDGE! Kurt goes nuts, OLYMPIC SLAM! 1, 2, EDGE KICKS OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Kurt is losing his mind - down come the straps - Anglelock is applied! Edge turns, enzuigiri hits Kurt - but he plays possum!!! Another Anglelock in the dead centre of the ring! Edge turns - boots Kurt into the ropes, rolls him up, 1, 2, 3!!!!!!

Time: 15:28
****1/4

Now THAT was an awesome match. Kurt loses his mind, and attacks Edge after the bell. Edge hits Kurt with the Edgecution for good measure, and drags him off towards the barber chair. Kurt kicks Edge away, then runs off backstage. The crowd is PISSED that they're not seeing a haircut.

Now we take a look at the Mariott, and Booker T's allowed a camera man into the room where he's about to engage sexual intercourse. The woman wants the light out, kisses the woman. "I want you to leave the n.W.o. and come back to (inhales) Goldust!" The lights are on - and Goldust is in his bed with the woman. "Man, what the hell are you doing here?" "I'm sorry for this deception, but you do not return any phone calls." "PHONE CALLS?" "Yes phone calls, I know you want to get your mack down, but I planned out this big elaborate scheme…" "Man, you some kind of a freak, I can't even have some privacy…" Booker storms off - we all get a nice long look at his bare ass, and the camera pans back to Goldust. "You mean I bought this nightgown for nothing?"

The cell starts to lower, which means that match is next. Let's cut to a video package.

CHRIS JERICHO vs. TRIPLE H (in a Hell In A Cell Match)

The door is padlocked, and Tim White is the only one with a key. You don't think they'll find a way out now do ya? Nose to nose they go. Jericho strikes first, and they trade punches. Triple H whips Jericho - telegraphs the backdrop, and Jericho kicks him in the nose. Chops and punches follow. Whip - Jericho runs right into the knee. Whip - backdrop. Triple H continues the attack in the corner. Jericho is beaten in the corner - then launched over the top rope to the floor. Triple H tries to send Jericho face first into the cell, Jericho blocks, tries the same, but Triple H blocks that. Tim White: "Keep it inside!" Yeah, okay! Jericho is knocked down. Whip - Jericho ducks a punch, and hits the flying Japapeno. Right after right is hit, then Jericho starts to choke Triple H out. In the corner he hammers away, but Triple H reverses and does damage. Whip is reversed by Jericho - he charges, Triple H sidesteps, and Jericho's shoulder hits the post! Triple H grabs Jericho by the hair and runs him into the side of the cell. Another toss - Jericho goes back first into it. Triple H whips Jericho - Jericho bounces off the cell, and takes a clothesline to the floor. Jericho rolls into the ring. Head to the turnbuckle - snapmare, and Jericho's down. Armwringer, clothesline, down he goes again. Vertical suplex, cover, 1, 2, kick out. Head into the turnbuckle, to the other turnbuckle - whip is reversed, and Triple H flair flips to the outside. Jericho drops the elbow down on Triple H from the apron, and hammers away. Whip into the side of the cage. Whip is reversed - and Jericho flies shoulder first into the steps. His shoulder is clearly bleeding now. Triple H sets up the steps for something…and goes for a piledriver. Jericho takes him down by the knees, and catapults him from the steps into the side of the mesh. Jericho holds his shoulder, then looks for something underneath the ring - coming up with a ladder! Jericho rears back…and runs over Triple H with the ladder. Triple H is now bleeding from the forehead, and gets raked face first into the cell. Into the ring they go - and again Jericho runs him over with the ladder. The ladder is set into the corner - Jericho whips him, and Triple H goes headfirst into it, falls through the ropes, and lands headfirst on the steps outside. For fun, Jericho tosses the ladder on Triple H. Triple H fights back on the floor - but Jericho throws him into the cell again, and takes over. Jericho gets his ladder back in the ring, and rolls Hunter back in. The ladder is prepped - but somewhere Triple H found a chair, and knocks the ladder back on Jericho. He's holding his knee on the ground. Triple H grabs the chair again and nails Jericho over the back. Jericho goes low - and tries to take over again. Bulldog, Triple H goes face first into the ladder, and the blood is really flowing now. The steps are brought into the ring, and picked up. Triple H drop toe holds Jericho face first onto the steps. Jericho runs with a clothesline, but Triple H ducks and hits the neckbreaker. Here's a facebuster. Triple H picks up the steps, and just throws them at Jericho. Scoop - Jericho's sent torpedo style into the mesh. Drag across the floor - face first slam into the steps. Jericho gets rolled in, Triple H follows - Jericho runs off the ropes - Triple H sidesteps trying to send him outside, but he knocks Tim White off the apron and into the cell hard!!!!! HOLY SHIT! Triple H runs over Jericho with a clothesline, and takes a look at Tim White. He turns, and staggers right into the chair. Jericho covers…and Tim's still out cold after his spill. Jericho goes to the floor to check on Tim White - and tosses him into the cage. TIM WHITE'S BLEEDING! I don't remember EVER seeing a ref do a bladejob! Other referees lurk outside the ring - but aren't sure what to do. Back in, Jericho rushes Triple H and takes a spinebuster! Jim Corderas, ever thinking, gets some bolt cutters to open the cell. They all rush over to check on him, as Triple H kicks a chair in Jericho's face. Triple H looks around under the ring for something, and can't find it. Another corner is checked, still no sign. Finally he's able to come up with it - the sledgehammer! Running with it - here's a shot with it straight to Jericho's face! Jericho's a bloody mess now as well. Cover, nobody home. Jericho slowly crawls out to the floor, and makes his way out the open door. Triple H follows - and has it slammed back in his face! Triple H slowly crawls out now, and Jericho kicks at him. They fight along the side of the cell towards the announce tables. Jericho shoves him into the cell, then slams him into the announce table. Jericho takes apart the Spanish announce table, and sets Triple H up on top of it. A Pedigree is set by Jericho - but Triple H fights out and DDT's Jericho through the table! Triple H crawls over to the other announce table, and pulls out Mick Foley's 2 by 4 wrapped in barbed wire! Jericho's seen enough and starts to make his way up the cage as fast as he can. Triple H puts it on his arm, and follows. The fans are coming alive now! Triple H tosses the barbed wire board ahead of him, and Jericho grabs it. Triple H takes a shot right to the back! Jericho holds it way above his head, and takes another shot at Triple H's back! They both stagger around over the cell. Double leg takedown, Triple H is put into the Walls Of Jericho! Mike Chiota's decided to get involved, and climbs up the cell! Triple H powers out of the move, and Jericho almost rolls off the top. He stands up again, and grabs the 2 by 4. Triple H gets in a lowblow to stop the use of the weapon. Pedigree is setup - reversed into a backdrop, and the cell doesn't break! Triple H gets the 2 by 4, and smacks Jericho right in the head!! 1, 2, Jericho gets a shoulder up! Boot to the midsection - Pedigree is set…and he hits it! Cover, 1, 2, 3!!

Time: 24:29
***3/4

Not the best Hell In A Cell the WWF's done - but definitely a keeper! Probably won't be included in the Big 3 for video packages though.

Kurt Angle's running around backstage trying to avoid Edge. He finds the makeup lady, puts on a showercap and cover, and hides out. Edge doesn't see him - Kurt takes off, and Edge follows just a bit behind.

Mark Henry's music results in a need to get the F out…

Here's a live look at The World - where Maven's taking Torrie Wilson out on a date. She felt so covered up when wearing her geisha outfit, that she may strip down to little or nothing at all whenever. Maven spits out his drink, and tells her she looked great, and they toast.

BILLY and CHUCK (with Rico) vs. RIKISHI and ???

From my Excess recap: "At Judgement Day, Rikishi faces Billy and Chuck with a mystery partner of McMahon's choice. I'll take a guess and say either Albert (they WERE having issues) or Rico, just to confuse everyone."

Sure enough, the Fink manages to spit out eventually that Rico is Rikishi's mystery partner, making up our third handicap style match tonight. Rico really wants to start the match, but Rikishi won't let him. Billy and Rikishi start. Rikishi blocks his punches and takes him down with his own. Remembering gimmicks from the past, Billy hits a DDT, but Fatu's got a real hard head and doesn't feel it! Superkick for Billy, Chuck rushes in, and takes a forearm. Whip - both guys in the corner, Rikishi backs that ass up, but nobody's home. Double flapjack drops the big man. The fans are silent. Both guys stomp on Rikishi - whip by Billy - Rikishi holds the rope while Billy misses a dropkick. Rikishi goes for a tag, and finds Rico's out to lunch. A neckbreaker from behind hits, and Chuck is tagged in. Shoulderblocks and punches in the corner are hits. Belly to belly overhead is nailed from Chuck, cover, 1, 2, no! Wow, that suplex was impressive! Boot to Rikishi's midsection, tag to Billy, Fameasser, 1, 2, Rikishi kicks out. The fans completely ignore the fact that was Billy's finisher and don't make a noise. Chuck's back in, hits some punches - goes for a whip, but gets kicked while telegraphing the backdrop. Belly to belly suplex from Rikishi, 1, he kicks out. Rikishi drops Chuck with a right hand, another, whip - backdrop. Billy runs in and takes a Samoan drop. Chuck tries a sunset flip, Rikishi drops down, 1, 2, Billy saves. JR: "Can you imagine that smell?" Like your shit doesn't stink big guy? Whip by Billy is reversed - Rikishi elevates Billy and screws up whatever they were doing. From behind Chuck hits a dropkick. Rikishi is held hostage, Rico gets into the ring, the spinkick misses and hits Chuck, Rikishi covers, 1, 2, 3.

Time: 3:50
1/4*

Holy hell, I don't think that could have been much worse. Nobody cares, the audience has yet to make a noise for ANYTHING. Rikishi drops a belt by the ring for Rico, who doesn't even realize what's happened. Billy and Chuck are pissed. Rikishi starts to dance on the stage, to a mild cheer. This is just sad. Rico sees the belt, grabs it and tries to hide it - heading to the back.

Next week - Mean Gene Okerlund comes back to WWE! Confidential airs at 11:00pm, this week with Shawn Michaels talking about the Survivor Series 1997.

Edge is still looking for Kurt Angle. He opens a door, no Kurt, closes it - and Kurt Angle is right behind it. Trashcan lid to the head of Edge, and Kurt starts to drag him back out towards the crowd. "You people want to see a haircut? I'll show you a freakin' haircut! Barber get your ass out here!" Kurt launches Edge onto the stage where the chair is setup, and puts him in the chair. Olympic Slam is blocked - and Edge puts on a sleeper! With that, Kurt's out cold. Edge takes the electric razor, and goes to work on Kurt's head. Out comes the shaving cream, and the straight razor… Uhh, that's dangerous! Kurt Angle is a VERY trusting man. Edge wakes up Kurt - and shows him his head. Edge knocks him back down. "Hey Angle, you're so sick of everyone chanting You Suck? Well for now on, they're gonna chant You're Bald!" Kurt's music plays, and the fans are ready with the You're Bald chants. Kurt breaks down in tears and runs to the back holding his head. Lawler: "The only thing worse is if they forced him to wear a cowboy hat."

Time for that main event video package, which means…

THE UNDERTAKER vs. HULK HOGAN (for the WWE World Heavyweight Title)

Taker has new music, and I don't recognize it if it's mainstream. And for whatever reason, he's wearing a Hollywood weightlifting belt. Hogan rushes the ring, and Taker starts to whip him with the weightlifting belt. He gets the spike ready with the end of it again - and starts to whip Hogan some more. Hogan blocks an attack with the spike, and knocks Taker down to the mat. Hogan picks the belt up, swings it around, and whips Taker. Earl Hebner has enough and throws it out. Hogan rakes Taker's eyes, and punches in the corner. Whip - Hogan charges and clotheslines Taker. Right, right, and Hogan starts to choke him out. Whip - backdrop. Hogan charges with a clothesline, and Taker falls to the floor. Off with the shirt - cup that ear! Hogan heads out to the floor, and takes an elbow. Headbutt, whip is reversed, and Taker hits the steps knee first. Hogan grabs Taker and hammers in a quick series of punches. Whip - Taker hits the security wall. Taker is rolled in, and Hogan follows close behind. Hogan gets too close, and takes a boot to the midsection. Back elbow, armwringer, shoulderblock, and Taker starts to pull the arm. Armwringer - we're going Old School! Hogan cuts him off that the knees, dropping Taker down, more or less leaving me wondering why NO ONE ELSE has done that? Hogan pokes Taker in the eyes - goes up top, superplex! Hogan crawls over, covers, 1, 2, Taker gets a shoulder up. Hogan climbs on Taker's and starts to hammer at him. The referee orders him to stop - Hogan threatens to belt him. That's not wholesome! Taker clips him at the knees, and starts an attack on the old knee. Taker out to the floor, pulls the knee down over the apron. The legs are wrapped around the pole - and the bad knee is whipped. Hogan's limping about, and Taker kicks him to take him back down. Elbowdrop, Taker works a legbar. Hogan reaches over, pulls Taker down, and tries a headscissors. He doesn't get that - but drops his leg over Taker's head several times. They trade punches - Hogan gets the the better of that, but takes an uppercut. Hogan retaliates with a double axehandle - whip - big boot - legdrop, but Taker was ready and puts on a half crab! THAT was cool! Hogan crawls, but gets pulled right back to the middle of the ring. Another crawl…he makes the ropes. Taker attacks with the elbows in the corner, and starts in with the kidney shots. Whip is reversed - Hogan charges the corner, and takes an elbow. Taker charges with a big boot, Hogan ducks, and Taker's draped over the ropes. Hogan hammers - whip - clothesline misses, and here comes a chokeslam! Taker can't get it, pulls up, tries again, and does a half assed chokeslam. 1, 2, Hogan kicks out and starts to Hulk up. Nothing hurts Hogan, as he gyrates around the ring. YOU! Punch, punch, punch, whip - big boot - clap clap clap - cup the ear - legdrop, 1, 2, TAKER KICKED OUT! Taker's the coolest guy on the planet! Whip - backdrop is no good, because Taker grabs the head and DDT's him! 1, 2, Hogan kicks out. Here comes another Hulk up, and here comes Vince. Yeah, we went last month without a McMahon run in, I guess we're due. Taker brings in a chair, Hogan kicks it back in Taker's face, legdrop, and the ref is busy with Vince. Hogan pulls Vince in and decks him. Legdrop for Vince. Taker's awake - chairshot. Chokeslam is setup…and hit! 1, 2, 3!

Time: 11:18
*

The match was terrible, but god damn if it isn't good to see Undertaker with the belt! Hebner straps the belt around Undertaker's waist. Vince is all smiles, and JR goes on about Satin himself, like this was Wrestlemania X7 or something. Undertaker's not done. "This is for my motorcycle." The chair is brought back into the ring - and Hogan's thrown on it throat first. Hogan rolls around the ring, and Taker keeps driving the chair into Hogan. Taker picks his belt back up, and we're out!

Total Matches: 8
Average Match Length: 11:09
Average Match Rating: 2.19 stars
Overall: **1/2

A mixed bag on this one… There was some good wrestling - but everything fell flat. The crowd SUCKED, but they're not completely to be blamed, they had to reason to get excited about anything since the fed hasn't given us a reason to. Let's hope they can build on the few things they did right rather than continue to focus on the crap.