Triple H - Vince McMahon - The Rock - Steve Austin - The McMahon-Helmsley Regime. Tonight, it all comes to a head. This is Rocky's last chance at the WWF World Heavyweight Title, with Steve Austin in his corner.

Light the pyro because WE ARE LIVE from the MCI Centre in Washington DC! 6 titles on the line, and Austin returns! Commentators are Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler.

Debra makes her return to the WWF. She'll be the special ring announcer for our opening contest.

X-PAC and ROAD DOGG (with Tori) vs. EDGE and CHRISTIAN (for the WWF World Tag-Team Titles)

Dogg has the stick before we get underway. "Cut the music. No disrespect, I think you do some mighty fine mic work. But I'm gonna take this opportunity to welcome the nation's capital to the Dogghouse. You see it's me the DO double G, the X to the P to the A to the C, the green machine Tori, we're in Washington DC, and we're about to walk out of here with the G the O the L and the D yall! And on that note, I say two tears in a bucket, and if you're not down with that, we've got two words for ya…"

"X-Pac Sucks" fires up in about 2 seconds. Edge and X-Pac start out. Lock up, side headlock from X-Pac into the hammerlock. Back to the headlock - and Edge gets away, only to get hiptossed. Lock up, Edge gets the headlock, shoved into the ropes - and Edge hits the shoulderblock. Edge goes off the ropes again - and hits the spinning heel kick sending X-Pac to the floor. Road Dogg tries to calm the raging X-Pac down. "X-Pac Sucks!" Dogg is tagged in. Boot the midsection, right hand. Whip - Edge ducks the clothesline, and hits a headscissors takeover! Clothesline sends Dogg to the mat, and Christian is tagged in. Edge ducks - Christian connects with the Poetry In Motion! Boot by Christian - and he throws Dogg to the mat. Series of rights to his head, cover, 1, 2, Dogg is up. Another cover, 1, 2, he gets out again. Dogg pokes the eyes - holds Christian and tags out. X-Pac and Christian slug it out. Christian comes off the ropes - ducks a clothesline - X-Pac comes from the other direction, and is caught with a powerslam from Christian! X-Pac is sent headfirst into the corner. Christian climbs the turnbuckle, and manages to punch three times before Road Dogg knocks Christian down. X-Pac leaps off with a spinning heel kick! X-Pac sends Christian to the floor. Pac distracts the referee, and Dogg throws Christian into the steps. Christian is rolled in and I guess Dogg is now legal because he covers, 1, 2, Christian kicks out. Road Dogg applies the front facelock and tries to keep Christian from getting the tag. X-Pac distracts the ref as Christian tags - but the ref misses it and orders Edge back to the corner drawing some serious heel heat. Christian is brought back to the heel corner and while the ref is yelling at Edge, Tori chokes out Christian. Here comes X-Pac - and he nails the Bronco Buster! Road Dogg is given the tag. Snap mare into the centre of the ring - and Dogg kicks HARD at the back of Christian. Another one. The announcers are impressed with the noise. He covers, 1, 2, Christian kicks out. Road Dogg applies a headlock on the mat, while Edge tries to draw some support from the crowd. Christian to his feet - and he gets away. Right, right, off the ropes, boot. Off the ropes, ducks a clothesline, but Christian gets met with Road Dogg's dancing punches, followed by the Shake Rattle and Kneedrop. He covers, 1, 2, and Edge saves. X-Pac comes in from the other side to kick at the head at Christian while the ref is distracted. Christian whips Dogg, Dogg ducks a clothesline, and comes off the otherside with a crossbody while Christian's trying one of his own! Christian seemingly takes the worst of that one, but both are down. X-Pac rushes in to stomp down Christian before he can make the tag - and while the ref is trying to get X-Pac back to the corner Edge comes off the top with a headbutt to Dogg!!! Edge shoves X-Pac out to the floor. Christian covers Dogg, 1, 2, Road Dogg JUST gets a shoulder up. Road Dogg pulls Christian by the hair back to his corner - and makes the tag to X-Pac. Double belly to back suplex coming up - but Christian lands on his feet and nails a double slop drop! Christian manages to make the crawl to tag in Edge! He knocks everyone down - comes off the ropes, and hits a short powerbomb on X-Pac! 1, 2, Dogg saves! Road Dogg has Edge up, and in position for the Pumphandle Slam! Christian stops that - goes for the tomikaze, but he's shoved off right into X-Pac's awaiting clothesline! Edge spears Road Dogg! Tori gets on the apron to pull Edge's hair. X-Pac charges - Edge sidesteps, and Tori is knocked off the apron! Dogg jumps on Christian on the floor while X-Pac hits the X-Factor on Edge! Christian sneaks off, grabs the ring bell, comes back in and BLASTS X-Pac with it! Christian covers, 1, 2, 3!!!!!

Time: 9:21
***1/2

X-Pac is bleeding like mad, and from what I understand was taken the hard way. Yikes. Awesome, awesome, opener!

A limo arrives - and The Rock steps out.

SCOTTY TOO HOTTY vs. DEAN MALENKO (for the WWF Lightheavyweight Title)

Lillian Garcia boogies with Scotty before the match a little bit. Malenko and Scotty had traded the title a couple of times before this event, leading to this as the blowoff.

Malenko attempts a clothesline, but Scotty ducks and hits a series of rights. Malenko is whipped into the ropes - and clotheslined to the mat. Another whip - back bodydrop. Malenko to his feet, and he's immediately clotheslined. Cover, 1, 2, Malenko gets out. Malenko catches Scotty coming off the ropes this time, tries a powerbomb, but gets armdragged coming out of it, met with a dropkick, and covered! 1, 2, Malenko's out. Malenko is shoved into the corner, whipped, but he reverses. Malenko blind charges ahead, and Scotty leapfrogs. Go behind is countered by a go behind from Malenko, but the side headlock is turned into a belly to back suplex! Scotty starts to moonwalk, but Malenko, ever on guard, uses a forearm shot to Scotty's back. Malenko goes for a whip, but it's reversed, and Malenko finds himself in the corner. Scotty leaps to the second rope - Malenko tries an atomic drop, but Scotty manages to land properly and smack Malenko to the mat. Lawler: "You mean you tried the Worm?" JR: "In the backyard. Hurt myself. It wasn't too flattering." Now THAT is funny. Scotty whips Malenko across the ring - bounces off the ropes going for the bulldog, but Malenko calmly turns and clotheslines Scotty like a bitch to the mat. Now we're talkin'! I should note all of this has taken place in the first 1:30. Malenko keeps Scotty on the apron - exposes the turnbuckle, and shoves Scotty face first into it. Scotty goes to the floor. Malenko follows, and drives Scotty back first into the ring. Scotty is rolled back in. Malenko kicks at the knee of Scotty, but Scotty turns it around and whales on Malenko! The referee pulls Scotty off Malenko, and Malenko dropkicks the knee of Scotty as soon as he does that. Hah! Malenko goes for an anklelock, which leads to Scotty's shoulders down. 1, 2, he gets it up. Malenko drops an elbow on the knee. Another! Make it three. Now on the mat, he puts on another version of the anklelock. Scotty's shoulders are down again, 1, 2, he escapes but he's in trouble. Malenko starts dropping knees on the knee of Scotty. When he's done playing that game, he drags Scotty's leg around the ringpost, and whips the leg around it. Breaking the count, he heads out and does it again! Single leg takedown, and he goes back to the anklelock. Scotty's shoulders fall, 1, 2, he gets out. Scotty powers himself to his feet - goes for the enzuigiri, but Malenko ducks that attempt, IMMEDIATELY dropping an elbow down on the knee the second Scotty hits the mat. THAT is impressive! Malenko sets Scotty where he wants him, comes off the ropes, and hits the kneedrop on the knee! Malenko jumps all over it like a hungry animal, and kneebars the shit out of Scotty's leg! Scotty falls down, 1, 2, Scotty gets up. Malenko scoots over towards the ropes, and starts to pull on that for leverage. Jack Doan isn't too fond of that, so he forces a break. Malenko doesn't care and immediately goes back to kicking at the knee. Scotty holds the ropes, and Malenko kicks the knee out right from under Scotty! Malenko drags him back out, and hits the single leg atomic drop. Still holding, Scotty's hanging in, and hits the enzuigiri! Scotty fights to his feet, gets in some kidney shots, tries to whip Malenko - which is reversed, and Scotty goes back first into the turnbuckle. Down he goes to the mat HARD. Malenko picks up Scotty's knee, and drives it back to the mat. Malenko picks Scotty up into a doggy position, comes off the ropes, and dropkicks the knee. Scotty is set in the corner with his knee draped over the ropes, and Malenko kicks at it. Jack Doan helps Scotty out of the corner - but Malenko drops him back to the mat. Spinning toe hold is shoved off into the ropes, Scotty's got him packaged, 1, 2, Malenko kicks out! Malenko forward right away with a clothesline that drops Scotty. Malenko kicks at the knee every single time Scotty gets to his feet. Whip - Scotty comes off and kicks Malenko, so Malenko rushes forward and drops both of them out to the floor through the middle rope. Ummm, OW! Malenko's up first - gets the apron, but is yanked off of it, and meets it face first! Scotty rolls Malenko in, and follows. The idiot goes to the top rope, and Malenko wastes no time cutting him off. Superplex! Malenko gets up and shakes that off. He goes for a clothesline, but Scotty ducks and backslides him! 1, 2, Malenko kicks away! He takes down Scotty and goes for the Texas Cloverleaf! Scotty cradles Malenko, 1, 2, NO! Scotty is shoved chest first into the turnbuckle, Malenko meets him with a belly to back suplex, but Scotty hammers on Malenko's head the whole way down. Malenko gets up - tries a tiger driver, but Scotty lands on his feet on the other end, and hits the bulldog! He's feeling it from the crowd! Unfortunately, he jumps on the leg Malenko's been working on, but that's Sportz Entertainment for you. The Worm hits. He tries to follow up, but Malenko simply shoves Scotty face first into the turnbuckle, rolls him up and pins him with his feet on the ropes. 1, 2, Jack Doan catches Malenko cheating! Brainbuster is blocked by Scotty as he goes behind, but Malenko counters with a go behind of his own, Scotty turns with a clothesline attempt that Malenko ducks, and Scotty gets nailed with the tiger driver! 1, 2, Scotty rolls away! Scotty gets whipped into the corner. Malenko charges, eats Scotty's boot, Scotty charges, eats Malenko's powerslam! 1, 2, Scotty kicks out! Malenko tries a whip, which Scotty counters by trying to pick up Malenko and drop him to the outside, but Malenko hangs on to Scotty's head and hits the jawbreaker on the way down! Malenko heads to the top rope. Scotty cuts him off, and heads on up. We have a superplex coming up - but it's reversed into a MASSIVE DDT from Malenko!!!!! 1, 2, 3!!!!!!!

Time: 12:53
****1/2

What a DDT!

That is probably the best Cruiserweight style match the WWF EVER put on, at least that I can think of off the top of my head!

The McMahon-Helmsley regime sits in the back. Vince gets assurance that The Stooges are back on their side. Shane dusts off his referee shirt. Vince: "All hands on deck."

THE BIG BOSSMAN and BULL BUCHANON vs. THE ACOLYTES

Ron and Big Bubba start out on the floor - which I guess makes Bradshaw and Buchanon legal.

Bradshaw immediately beats the hell out of Bull. A big boot sends Bull crashing into the corner. Bradshaw pulls Bull out to the middle - and drops him with a DDT. Bradshaw climbs to the top - flies with the shoulderblock and covers, 1, 2, Buchanon escapes. Bull is whipped into the ropes - leapfrogs, and clotheslines Bradshaw as he turns. Bull poses which gives Bradshaw a chance to spear Bull. Bull gets up - and we have a neckbreaker. Faarooq gets the tag and the Acolytes pound on him in the corner. Ron sends Buchanon face first into a turnbuckle - then whips him across the ring. Bull actually climbs the turnbuckle on the whip - turns and nails a clothesline! Bossman gets the tag. He stomp on Faarooq, then drops him to the mat. Faarooq gets back to his feet, and nails Bossman with a belly to back suplex. Crowd: "Bossman Sucks!" Faarooq off the ropes - shoulderblock. Bossman bounces off the ropes on the hit - and Faarooq hits him with a forearm shot off the rebound. Cover, 1, 2, Bossman gets out. Bossman is sent to the floor. Face first he goes into the steps by Bradshaw. Bossman gets rolled back in, and Faarooq tags out. Bradshaw goes for the whip - but it's reversed. Bradshaw comes off the other side with a punch to Bossman. Bossman falls gingerly to the floor, and Faarooq is waiting for him. Bossman is tossed into the security wall, before getting rolled in. Bradshaw covers, 1, 2, Bossman gets his foot on the rope. Faarooq gets tagged. Whip - Faarooq blind charges, and meets the turnbuckle chest first. From behind comes the Bossman, and he levels Faarooq with a forearm. Bossman gets the lukewarm tag out to Bull. Scoop and a slam is followed by an elbow drop. He gets stuck in the heel corner, and Bull gets to pounding on the kidneys. Bossman gets the tag. He does nothing, and tags back out. Bull stomps on Faarooq. Right hand sends Ron back to one knee. Faarooq tries to get to his corner, but Bull holds the front face lock. Bossman distracts the referee, and when Faarooq DOES get the tag, he misses it. That's the second time they've missed one tonight, and JR notes it. Faarooq is run back to the heel corner face first. Whip - and Faarooq is met by an elbow. 1, 2, Bradshaw breaks that up. Bull puts a rear chinlock on Faarooq. He lets go - comes off the ropes, and is met with a spinebuster! Faarooq crawls towards the corner, and makes the tag. Bradshaw comes in - and nails Bull with a reverse elbow. Off the ropes - ducks a clothesline, and Bradshaw with the torpedo shoulderblock! Bossman comes in, but Faarooq's on him to brawl outside. Bradshaw DDT's Bull Buchanon - and heads up. Bossman rushes over to cut him off, and Bull climbs. Superplex, which "almost breaks Bradshaw in half". Take one guess… 1, 2, Bradshaw, even in pieces, kicks out. He's whipped into the corner - sidesteps when Bull charges - comes off the other side and nails the Clothesline From Hell! 1, 2, Bossman breaks it up. Faarooq is right behind, and tosses Bossman out to the floor. Bossman grabs his nightstick, and nails Faarooq. Bradshaw goes over to the apron to get rid of Bossman, but also gets clocked. He staggers - and Bull comes off the top with the Bicycle Kick! 1, 2, 3.

Time: 7:38
3/4*

The Hardy Boyz are warming up backstage. Matt says it's going to be a war out there tonight - but if it comes down to the two of them, he's holding nothing back. Jeff's annoyed that Matt nearly broke his neck last week, and agrees.

Crash is polishing his Hardcore Title. Bob walks in and says even though they're cousins, he's going to enjoy beating Crash's ass tonight. Crash wonders why it has to be like that - why can't they go out there together, and if it comes down to the two of them, may the best man win. Bob smacks him over the head and wonders what he's thinking about.

CRASH HOLLY vs. TAZZ vs. JEFF HARDY vs. MATT HARDY vs. HARDCORE HOLLY vs. SATURN (for the WWF Hardcore Title)

Different rules on this one. If anyone pins Crash, the match is over and they're the Hardcore Champ. But if Crash pins anyone - he retains.

Saturn attacks Crash in the aisle, and brings him back into the ring. Saturn hits a t-bone suplex right away, and goes to cover, but Bob saves. Bob hits a powerbomb, covers, 1, 2, Matt Hardy breaks it up. He covers, 1, 2, Saturn saves. Jeff starts to stomp on Crash while Saturn stomps Matt in the corner. Jeff covers, 1, 2, Tazz breaks that up. Saturn and Matt slug it out, while Tazz connects with a Tazzplex. 1, 2, Saturn's there to stop it. Crash runs up the aisle, and everyone except Tazz and Saturn follow. Crash starts climbing up the Backlash set, and Matt follows. They fight, and everyone waits before. Crash tumbles, but hangs upside down caught in the set. Everyone swings like he's a piñata. Crash comes down - but Matt comes down even harder on top of everyone, knocking them everywhere. "Holy shit" chant breaks out. Bob sends Matt Hardy into the set. Saturn drops Crash across one of the hooks, and it breaks. Matt and Saturn slug it out - and Saturn walks right into Jeff's headscissors takeover. Look out - Matt's rushing his way back to the ring with Crash in his hands. Matt heads to the second rope, and Jeff has seemingly come back to, to hold the legs of Crash wide open. They both drop legs on Crash, but here's Tazz with trashcan lid shots for everyone! Tazz and Matt fight. Jeff whips him across the ring - and we have Poetry In Motion. Somewhere else, Bob cracks Crash over the head with a two by four. Jeff gets a chair, and we miss what he's doing to take a peak at the goings on elsewhere. Either way, Tazz survives the chair and takes out Jeff, only to be immediately hit by the two by four from Saturn. Saturn grabs Crash and puts on a variation of the abdominal stretch. Tazz breaks that up, and covers. 1, 2, Saturn breaks it up. Belly to back suplex on Crash. Both Saturn and Tazz go to cover. Tazz takes care of Saturn - whips Crash - and meets him with a clothesline! Matt Hardy leaps in to cover and does, 1, 2, Tazz breaks it up. Bob is back in the ring with a street sign, and clobbers Crash. 1, Saturn breaks it up. Spin kick from Saturn, and a cover, 1, 2, Bob breaks it up. Crash takes off to the outside, and Tazz follows. Matt Hardy saves Crash with trashcan shots to Tazz, then takes the shots to Crash. Cover, 1, 2, Bob pulls him off. Jeff leaps on, 1, 2, Bob breaks that up. Crash takes a vertical suplex from Bob, but it's broken up before the one. Suddenly, too much stuff happens at the same time - and I can't keep up. Luckily, that only happens for about 10 seconds, and we're back in the ring with Crash and Tazz. Crash dropkicks Tazz coming off a whip, covers, and barely gets a 1. Saturn whips Crash - but Crash comes off with a sunset flip, covers, 1, 2, and Tazz breaks that one up. Jeff Hardy brings in a cable and chokes out Crash. Bob and Jeff take turns stomping on Crash. Saturn steals a cover, 1, but it's broken up. Tazz starts to nail everyone with a street sign, while Bob tries a pin. 1, 2, that's broken up. Tazz fights with Saturn. Bob chokes Crash in the ropes by standing on his neck - but Saturn stops that with a German suplex! Saturn covers, 1, 2, Tazz stops it. Tazz stomps Crash in the corner, while JR notes that Tazz and Saturn may not like each other. Vertical suplex from Tazz and a cover that doesn't get 1 before Bob leaps to stop it. The Hardys grab cookie sheets to take out everyone, and Jeff covers. 1, 2, Matt pulls him off and covers, 1, 2, Bob kicks him away. Tazz grabs the cord and chokes out Matt, sending him to the floor, while Jeff hits a split legged moonsault on Crash! 1, 2, Saturn stops it - then comes over the top with a splash of his own, covers, 1, 2, Bob breaks it up. Bob sets Crash on the top rope - superplex!!! Tazz and Bob both cover, 1, 2, they break each other up. Saturn with a brainbuster, 1, 2, broken up. Good gawd this is nuts. Bob gets a chair in the ring. Hollycaust - 1, 2, Matt breaks it up. The crowd suddenly explodes - and it's because the Hardys have a ladder! They run over Bob, then Tazz! It's set up in the corner - double whip, and Bob goes right into it. The Hardys take Bob out with a double clothesline. Jeff heads to the top of the ladder. Twist Of Fate from Matt Hardy. Swantonbomb from Jeff! Matt steals the cover, 1, 2, Jeff pulls him away and decks him! 1, 2, Matt breaks it up. The Hardys have words, and Tazz takes them both out with a clothesline. Tazzmission on Crash!!! Saturn brings in a stop sign, and NAILS Tazz! 1, 2, Bob pulls Saturn out. The Hardys each go to the top - and leap on Bob and Saturn respectively! Crash rolls over and covers, 1, 2, 3!!!!!!!

Time: 12:19
***

Now THAT was a hardcore match!

Jonathan Coachman sits with Shane McMahon to ask how he's going to referee the main event. Shane McMahon promises to be impartial and call this match down the middle.

The Big Show has some fun. He impersonates The Godfather, Val Venis, and Rikishi. Kurt Angle is given a tag-team title shot with The Big Show - but the Show is more interested in having fun by dressing like a Scotsman. When Kurt slaps Show, Show snaps and beats the piss out of Kurt. Kurt feels sorry for The Big Show. "The Big Show is a big ass!" Kurt can't wait to beat some sense into The Big Show.

KURT ANGLE vs. THE BIG SHOW

Kurt has the stick. "How fitting for me to be in Washington, DC. You know, Your Olympic Hero and this nation's capital have a lot in common. For instance, like George Washington, I cannot tell a lie. The Big Show is a giant waste of talent. Like Abraham Lincoln, I'm honest almost to a fault. If The Big Show had my three I's, maybe he wouldn't be such a disappointment. And like Marion Barry…actually I'm nothing like Marion Barry, and you people oughta be ashamed of yourselves for re-electing that guy. It's True! Shame on all of you! It's True! But that's what's wrong with America today. We're liars, we're cheaters. I mean look at our president. But that's where I come in, that's where Your Olympic Hero steps in. I mean let's be honest, I might be the only hero that all of you have left, and that my friends is true!"

Suddenly, Real American starts to blare over the loudspeakers. And it's The Big Show dressed as The Showster! JR: "For the love of Hulk…" This is the funniest damn thing I've EVER seen on a pay-per-view, hands down. He cups his ear for the fans, and rips off his shirt!

"Well you know something Kurt Angle dude! You go around talking a lot of trash man, about what you're gonna do and you're a real hero. Well let me tell ya something brother. I've been to the top of the mountain. I've walked through the valley of the shadow of death dude! I've got the largest pythons in the world brother. So whatchu gonna do when the Showster goes wild on you?"

Kurt has seen enough and attacks from behind - so Showster hulks up! YOU! Block one punch and hit one! Blocks the second and nails the second! Here in comes, Kurt off the ropes - goes to punch, it's blocked and he hits number three! Whip - BIG BOOT! Clap the hands together a bunch of times - off the ropes, LEGDROP! 1, 2, Kurt kicks out! Lawler: "Nobody ever does that do they?" Whip into the ropes - Kurt clips Show from behind. He drops an elbow on the leg three times. Showster is feeling pain! Kurt sets the foot on the ropes - and drops down on it. Here he goes again. Crowd: "HOGAN! HOGAN!" Kurt goes for a figure four. JR: "More people are chanting Hogan than have in years!" Show's had enough and takes off the Hogan gear. He gets Kurt in the corner and chops away. Big whip across the ring. Elbow. Whip is turned into a short arm clothesline. Here it comes - The Chokeslam!!!! 1, 2, 3!!!

Time: 2:37
1/4*

Blech. Show leaves to that absolutely TERRIBLE remix of his theme music. Still - best comedy match executed in ages.

Is Trish Stratus the object of Bubba Ray's desires? For some reason, he's been completely incapable of putting her through a table. Every time things look the worst, she slips him the tongue and escapes.

Michael Cole wonders how Trish really feels about Bubba Ray. "You know Mikey, Bubba's a passionate man. He's a man that's not afraid to express his true emotions, and I like that. You know Michael, most men around me, they just bottle up all that frustration and tension, and then they go home and then one day they just explode. But Bubba's special. Bubba's different. And in a few minutes, Bubba's gonna find out exactly how I feel."

Bubba's seen the whole thing - and he's pawing at the TV screen. D-Von lets Bubba know he's pissed off with this whole woman bullshit, and it's time to testify!

Billy Corgan's in the crowd.

THE DUDLEY BOYZ vs. T&A (with Trish Stratus)

Trish makes sure to show off her puppies on the way to the ring. The Dudleys attack T&A right away. Bubba slides out and chases Trish around the ring - failing to notice Test on the other side who runs him over with the clothesline. D-Von and Albert are legal. Albert stomps D-Von in the corner. Whip - D-Von ducks a clothesline, and nails a couple punches. Boot to the midsection. Whip is reversed, yet D-Von still manages to come away with a clothesline and a cover. 1, 2, Albert powers out. Tag out to Bubba. Right, on the ropes, clubbering forearm! Right, right, right, right, whip - Albert ducks, Bubba comes off the other side with a clothesline. Bubba takes a hard look at Trish. "I'm gonna get ya, ya little bitch!" Elbowdrop on Albert. Make that two! Bubba comes off the ropes, and connects with a third. Hooks the leg, 1, 2, Albert gets a shoulder up. Albert to his feet, and some kidney punches. Bubba is caught in the corner, but he rakes the eyes. Into the other corner, chop, chop, tag out to D-Von. Both men hook his head - double suplex! Legs spread - Wazzup Drop without the Wazzup. D-Von begins to testify. He covers, 1, 2, Albert kicks out. Whip is reversed, D-Von ducks a clothesline, off the other side, bicycle kick! Albert whips D-Von in the corner and tags out to Test. Test is whips Albert right into D-Von with the running splash - then Albert yanks D-Von out by the head right into Test's big boot! Cover, 1, 2, D-Von gets his shoulder up. Face to the turnbuckle twice. Whip, D-Von ducks the clothesline, and connects with the shoulderblock. Cover, 1, Test kicks out. Test whips D-Von into Albert - whom D-Von hooks and hits the jawbreaker! Albert falls to the floor. Test with a boot to the midsection - gutwrench powerbomb! D-Von stands - and they trade punches. D-Von set in the corner - big boot Nash choke. Test tags out to Albert. Whip - both men grab him and hit the double tilt-a-whirl! 1, 2, D-Von gets a shoulder up. D-Von fires back with rights, but Albert gets in a blind tag during a whip attempt. The whip is reversed, and D-Von walks into the arms of Albert and a powerslam. Test comes in, Albert picks him up, and drops him hard with the splash. 1, 2, Bubba comes in to break that up. T&A stomps away while the ref gets rid of Bubba. Whip - D-Von comes into the back elbow. Fans chant "Table!". Whip, D-Von ducks a clothesline, from behind, boot the midsection, and a neckbreaker! Bubba calls for the tag. Albert starts to come into the ring, and D-Von makes the tag while the ref's back is turned - so we have false tag #3 on the night. Heels drag D-Von back to their corner. D-Von tries to get some shots in, but Albert stops that. Whip - Albert runs right into D-Von HARD. Making sure there's no interference, Bubba is knocked off the apron by Albert. Back over to D-Von whose half in the ropes, we have a catapult into the second rope throat first. Cover, 1, 2, Bubba breaks it up. Test heads in off a tag. Shoulderblock and a cover, 1, 2, D-Von kicks out. D-Von is sent face first into the turnbuckle, and Albert is tagged in. Whip across the ring - Albert charges and meets D-Von's boot. D-Von to the second rope - sunset flip! 1, 2, Albert gets out. Albert to his feet - boot to the midsection. Setting him up for the ride, Albert hits the powerbomb! 1, 2, D-Von with a shoulder up. "We want tables!" Albert goes to the second rope, and Bubba wanders over to jaw with him. The distraction is enough for D-Von to nail Albert, and head up. Superplex from the second rope! Bubba desperately wants a tag. Double tag, and Bubba's a man on fire. Clotheslines for everyone! Albert is whipped into the corner, and met with a running clothesline. Test walks right into a Samoan drop. Cover, 1, 2, Albert saves. D-Von sends Albert over the top to the floor. Fans call for 3-D, so the Dudleys hit 2-D. JR: "3-D!!" Bubba covers, 1, 2, Test kicks out. JR: "Must not have got it all because ain't nobody gonna kick out of 3-D!" Albert's in, Baldo Bomb for Bubba!!! Test goes up for a flying elbow - but D-Von moves Bubba out of the way. Bubba rolls over and covers, 1, 2, NO!! Albert is sent to the floor and they call for 3-D. On the attempt though, Trish is on the apron showing off her body, and Bubba is stunned. Bubba turns, and walks right into a big boot. 1, 2, 3.

Time: 11:08
**

Bubba hits a Bubba Cutter right away on Test, and catches Trish by the hair. He lets her go to hit 3-D on Albert - but catches her again. D-Von gets the table and he holds on tight. His face got scraped up somewhere because his nose and forehead and slightly bleeding. The table is set up, and Trish grabs Bubba for a deep kiss. She starts to get away, but Bubba grabs her by the hair and pulls her back!!! Up top - and powerbombed through the table!!!! He gets his evil grin while JR yells about getting him a cigarette.

Stephanie McMahon - take note. THIS is when it's appropriate to start a feud with a chick. When she is neither taking up the whole show, and when it's nowhere near the main event, let alone Wrestlemania.

Trish is put in the stretcher and carted off. This takes a good few minutes, so we watch the replays over and over and over. Upon being loaded into the ambulance, someone in a really nice car shows up. Why, it's Eddie Guerrero and Chyna, returning from the prom! He's warned by the referee if he doesn't get out there right away, he'll be forced to forfeit his European Title. Well, if you gotta come out, come out in style!

EDDIE GUERRERO (with Chyna) vs. ESSA RIOS (with Lita) (for the WWF European Title)

Eddie and Chyna come out to the ringside area in the car. He doesn't have time to get dressed for his match, so he just takes off his jacket and shirt, but leaves the bowtie. He looks like a chip 'n dale which amuses me because he's SOOOO sleazy looking.

Here's a look at Chyna being unable to resist Eddie Guerrero's latino heat. Something about a GED was going on, but I ignored that part because Eddie's character was so unbelievably cool at this point that I didn't need it dumbed down. Anyway, Eddie teamed up with Essa Rios a few times, but they had MAJOR issues with one another, as did Chyna and Lita. So a match was booked. Good enough for me.

Essa's obviously the heel tonight, because he yells a whole lot on the way to the ring, and makes scrunched up faces. Lita doesn't say TAG when she's with Essa, most likely because he doesn't tolerate juvenile bullshit.

Eddie dropkicks Essa from behind, and JR steals a Tenayism by suggesting someone call air traffic control. Eddie pounds away at the shoulders and picks him up. Whip - Eddie blocks him down. Eddie tries a tilt-a-whirl, but it's blocked and Essa hits one of his own. Eddie boots Essa in the midsection. JR: "Beautiful tilt-a-whirl backbreaker by Eddie Guerrero." Are you even watching these Cruiserweights you push for week in and week out? Could you PRETEND to care? Essa sent face first into the turnbuckle, Essa comes out, and is hit with a belly to back suplex. Armdrag, and Eddie works the arm. Essa's shoulder goes down, 1, 2, Essa gets to his feet. Essa climbs the turnbuckle while holding Eddie's arm, and incase something exciting happens in this Cruiserweight match, let's LOOK AT CHYNA! Essa gets an armdrag on Eddie Guerrero, and hits an elbowdrop. Whip - armdrag, and Eddie rolls to the floor. Essa comes flying with a plancha, but Eddie sidesteps, and Essa goes right into the floor. Eddie sends Essa face first into the steps. Back in, scoop and a slam. Eddie goes to the apron, and hits a slingshot senton. Essa is sent face first to the turnbuckle - then tossed out to the floor. Chyna's there and uppercuts Essa. He's rolled back in, and the ref tells her to back off. Whip - reverse - Essa hits a dropkick. Up to the top he goes - missile dropkick! 1, 2, Eddie gets a shoulder up. Essa works a chinlock, but Eddie gets to his feet and drops down with an Ace crusher! Powerbomb attempt is blocked, as Essa holds on and swings over with the armdrag. Eddie runs into the ropes, and Essa drops down using his legs to shove Eddie across the ring. He hits the ropes feet first and bounces hard on his shoulders. Essa sees an opening, and charges, but Eddie was playing possum and he gets armdragged outside! Chyna comes over to nail Essa, then spit on him. I suspect racial tension. Eddie comes over the top just as Essa gets to his feet, and hits the plancha! Essa is sent head first into the side of the ring, then sets Essa up with a powerbomb. Lita, even two years ago, couldn't help but attempt to cheat, so Chyna shoves her off the top and she goes crashing into the announce table face first. That'll learn ya. Essa counters the powerbomb with a backdrop. He heads up to the apron and waits for Eddie to stands. He gets up - and Essa comes flying with an Asai moonsault, which was misjudged as Essa's feet come crashing into the announce table as well as nailing Eddie. Eddie does his best to sell the love tap anyway. Eddie gets rolled back in, and promptly takes a missile dropkick. He heads back out to the floor - but Essa's right behind him with a tope con hilo! Essa banged his shoulder on the security railing here, but he's fine. Eddie gets rolled back in - and Essa goes back up. Chyna cuts him off this time though. Eddie climbs up - and it's a top rope superplex! Essa manages the cover though, 1, 2, Eddie gets a shoulder up. To their feet - Essa attempts a belly to back suplex, but Eddie lands on his feet, spins Essa around, and drops him down with the brainbuster! Eddie's had enough, and heads up. Essa's too quick though while Eddie makes sure his elbow pad is well adjusted (stemming from his elbow injury a couple months prior) Essa leaps up to the top and hiptosses Eddie in one sweet move! Essa now announces that it's over, and heads up. Moonsault! Look out - Eddie gets his knees up, and Essa is hurting! Eddie picks up Essa in the airplane spin, and hits a neckbreaker! 1, 2, 3!

Time: 8:44
**3/4

That'll be the last time you ever see an airplane spin end a match or Essa Rios on pay-per-view. I've seen guys with far less athletic ability with more blown spots get more chances, but I guess they speak English.

Essa dropkicks Eddie after the match, and Lita jumps Chyna, removing her prom dress. Chyna sits in the middle of the ring in her blue underwear. Chyna's pissed, but Eddie doesn't mind. Chyna shrugs it off, and poses for the crowd. Eddie goes to touch, but she slaps him away. She gives him back his belt. God I miss that team.

Triple H sits with Stephanie and The Coach. "Why wouldn't I be confident? Ask you a question, you're an intelligent guy right? Have you ever seen me in the ring? You know I call myself the Game, everyone calls me the Game, it's not just some slogan, some cheap catchphrase. I am the Game, because I am the World Wrestling Federation champion, and because as my wife said earlier, I am that damn good, and tonight one more time just like I always do, I will prove to the world, and more importantly I will prove once and for all to The Rock that I am that damn good." Coach wonders what the surprise is, and turns to Vince. Vince is a little surprised Austin's not in the building. His sources suggest that Austin's had some transportation difficulties, and won't even make it to the show.

Michael Cole is with Chris Benoit. He's got an Intercontinental Title match with Chris Jericho. "Chris Jericho has no problem telling the world just how good he is, but let's not forget who is the champion and who is the challenger Michael. Chris Jericho likes to compare The Crippler to a robot. Well the difference between me and a robot is I have emotions. And I'm going to thoroughly enjoy expressing my emotions all over Chris Jericho, and all the Jerichoholics here at the MCI Centre tonight. Chris Jericho, a word of warning. Inside, you're looking at the happiest man on the earth right now, because I know exactly what I'm going to do to Chris Jericho. And believe me, I'm going to take a lot of pleasure in doing it."

CHRIS JERICHO vs. CHRIS BENOIT (for the WWF Intercontinental Title)

Jericho feels the need to say stuff prior to the match. "Welcome to DC is Jericho. And Chris Benoyte, you seem awfully insulted that I refer to you as Mr. Roboto. But don't feel bad, because this town is full of expressionless, emotionless, deprogrammed drones. They're called politicians. So tonight Senator Roboto, I'm going to veto your Intercontinental Championship reign, and I'm going to do what every Jerichoholic has ever dreamed of doing, and that is beat the living hell out of a politician. And I'm going to do it tonight."

This here match is going to be restaurant quality. The guys circle eachother while JR whines about transportation problems. Lock up, Benoit gets shoved back to the corner, but Benoit turns it around. They continue to fight down the rope and into another corner. Tim White wants it broken up. They fall out to the floor. Benoit bitch slaps Jericho, and Jericho follows with one of his own. White stops them from continuing that, and they head back in. Hiptoss by Jericho, countered by a headscissors on the mat. Standing up, Benoit gets the hiptoss which is countered by a headscissors. The boys get nose to nose and talk shit. Benoit shoves off Jericho. Jericho comes back with a forearm. Benoit gets the takedown, hooks the legs, and bridges himself over. Jericho sits up and Benoit's shoulders are down. 1, 2, Benoit rolls over with the legs hooked - Jericho on his back, 1, 2, Jericho rolls to the side, Benoit down, 1, 2, and Benoit gets up. Chops are traded! Benoit rakes the eyes. Jericho backs up into the corner. Whip across the ring - Benoit blind charges, and lands in the turnbuckle. Benoit comes forward, drop toe hold by Jericho. Jericho rolls onto Benoit, and delivers punches. Boot to the head. Jericho picks up Benoit. Whip - reversed, Jericho hits the corner chest first and bounces out, right into the awaiting German suplex! Benoit rolls through, and hits a second one! Still rolling, Jericho catches the ropes before the third. Benoit hammers at the back trying to get Jericho to let go. Jericho does let go - and Benoit goes for the German suplex, but Jericho again hooks the rope. Benoit's had enough, spins Jericho around, and drops him all the way out to the floor with a belly to back suplex. Benoit charging - tope suicida - but Jericho sidesteps and Benoit crashes to the floor! Jericho kicks at Benoit, and sets up the steps. Chops for Benoit. Whip - reversed - Jericho leaps over the steps, turns, and Benoit dropkicks the steps right into the knees of Jericho! Jericho heads back inside slowly and Benoit's right behind him. Cover, 1, 2, Jericho gets out. Whip - knee to the midsection a Jericho crumbles. Jericho picked up in a gutwrench, and we have a gutbuster on the knee! Whip - chest first into the corner. He turns, and Benoit's there with kicks to the midsection. Jericho recovers with rights, whips Benoit - but Benoit hooks the top rope on the dropkick and Jericho falls hitting nothing but air. Benoit grabs the legs, and catapults Jericho into the turnbuckle. Chop - hotshot! Jericho falls back onto the inside. Boot to the midsection twice. Snap suplex delivered. Cover, 1, 2, Jericho kicks out. Whip - knee to the midsection. Jericho fights to his feet, and they trade boots. Whip - knee to the midsection, right into the abdominal stretch. Benoit pounds at the ribs of Jericho. Jericho fights out of that - comes off the ropes, and meets Benoit with a reverse elbow. Lionsault connects! Jericho can't cover right away. The ref gets to 9 - but Jericho gets a cover. 1, 2, Benoit kicks out. Benoit's up, and rakes the eyes. Chop, chop, chop. Benoit kicks at Jericho. Whip - reversed - Jericho charges, and meets Benoit's boot. Benoit charges, but Jericho gets a spinning heel kick out of nowhere. Benoit ducks a bunch, and starts to chop away again. Whip - reversed - Benoit hits the corner, comes out, and Jericho hits a bulldog! 1, 2, Benoit escapes. Jericho chops at Benoit, goes for a whip - but it's reversed. Jericho comes out with a schoolboy, 1, 2, Benoit gets out. Benoit tries a snap suplex, but Jericho blocks it - and hotshots Benoit. Benoit stands on the apron - Jericho leaps with the springboard and the missile dropkick but Benoit swats him away and Jericho hits nothing. Benoit leaps to the top - backwards, which means he'll be cut off. Sure enough, Jericho stops him. Jericho climbs up - superplex - but Benoit drove Jericho's head into the ground on the way down! Benoit covers with one arm, 1, 2, Jericho JUST gets a shoulder up. Whip - kick to the midsection - Benoit tries a gutwrench, but it's reversed into a backslide which no one wins. They spin around quickly into a powerbomb for Jericho! He's not done though - here's #2! Jericho covers, 1, 2, Benoit kicks out and puts on the Crossface!!! Jericho gets to the ropes somehow and forces a break. Benoit's not done though, pulls Jericho out and tries to put it on again. Jericho elbows out as best he can, takes Benoit down, stands and puts on a Liontamer! Benoit crawls towards the ropes - and makes the break! Jericho stomps on Benoit. Benoit stands, and he's getting chopped now. Whip is reversed - Jericho leaps, Benoit ducks, goodbye Tim White who's in the way! Chris Benoit immediately heads out to the floor to grab the belt. Jericho is blasted upside the head. Benoit gets the ref, covers, 1, 2, Jericho gets a shoulder up! Benoit gets the belt - and hits a snap suplex right onto it! Up top he goes…Air Canada - but Jericho pulls the belt into the way! Tim White calls for the bell.

Time: 15:05
****

It's a disqualification in favor of Chris Benoit, because Jericho used the belt. Jericho snaps and puts Tim White in the Walls Of Jericho. About a million refs hit the ring asking him to break the hold. He finally does, but he is NOT happy with that decision.

At Wrestlemania, Vince McMahon turned on The Rock and sided with his son in law, helping him retain the World Title. Vince promises that Rocky will NEVER see the belt again - which Rocky doesn't take so well. The WWF counters the beginning of the Russo/Bischoff era on the other channel with a Rocky vs. Bull/Bossman main event in a cage. Rocky wins - and gets the title shot, and also blows the other company's rating out of the water. Linda feels Rocky's being outnumbered, and puts Steve Austin in his corner at Backlash. Steve Austin shows up on Smackdown! to destroy the DX Express.

Michael Cole is with The Rock. He tells him Steve Austin is nowhere to be found. "Well The Rock says this about Stone Cold Steve Austin. Stone Cold could be in DC, Stone Cold could be in Texas, Stone Cold could be two minutes away from the building, The Rock doesn't know. But what The Rock does know, what The Rock can count on, what you can count on, what everybody can count on, is that The Rock can guarandamntee he's made the promise of the promise of the promise to the people - is that tonight at Backlash The Rock is walking out WWF Champion. Triple H, The Rock says this, it doesn't matter who he has to go through, how many McMahons he has to go through, he will go through them and he will go through you. The Rock is making history, and The Rock is making history now. IF YA SMELLLLLL WHAT THE ROCK is cooking!

TRIPLE H (with Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley and Vince McMahon) vs. THE ROCK (for the WWF World Heavyweight Title with Shane McMahon as special referee)

JR predicts this won't be a five minute Lennox Lewis special. I certainly hope not. The only pay-per-view main event that EVER should have been under five minutes was Hulk Hogan vs. Sting at Starrcade 1997.

Vince McMahon has a statement. "If you'll look closely, if you'll look closely in the program that many of you purchased - you'll read the fine print on the inside. And on the inside of this program it reads 'card subject to change'. Therefore I regret to inform you that Stone Cold Steve Austin will not be here tonight." JR has a heart attack.

Triple H and Rocky lock eyes and don't take them off one another. Lawler doesn't appreciate the fact that JR's not being objective - so JR suggests "why don't you just jump up and kiss Vince's ass?" Words that'll come back to haunt one Mr. Ross. Crowd: "We want Austin!" Rocky blocks a punch - and fires with several of his own. HHH comes back with some forearms, then punches Rocky in the corner. Rocky comes back - tries the spit punch but HHH blocks it. Rocky is sent into the corner - but comes out with some punches. Whip - reversed but Rocky blocks it with a reverse elbow! Rocky continues to hammer away. Whip - HHH ducks a clothesline. Boot - sets up the Pedigree. Rocky escapes with a back bodydrop. Rocky kicks away at HHH in the corner, and Shane sensing illegal activity yanks Rocky off of him. Rocky's none to pleased - and when he turns his attention back to HHH, HHH has time to duck the clothesline and hit a neckbreaker. Rocky stands - and hits a belly to back suplex. HHH gets to his feet, and is met with rights. Rocky off the ropes - HHH sidesteps and tosses Rocky over and to the floor. Rocky is sent into the steps - then dropped face first on the announce table. JR yells that that's not legal. I don't recall him making a big deal about that EARLIER in all those other matches that was taking place in. Vince now gets involved, sending Rocky into the post while Shane tells off HHH for his heinous actions on the floor. Vince sends Rocky back into the ring. Shane and HHH make their peace, and engage in a hug. That kind of thing brings a tear to my eye. HHH sees Rocky, and makes a cover. 1, 2, Rocky gets a shoulder up. Rocky sent head first into the turnbuckle. HHH stomps at Rocky's midsection - but Rocky fires back with some punches. HHH stops that. Whip - Rocky ducks a couple clotheslines, but can't avoid the knee. 1, 2, Rocky gets out. Vince skulks about at ringside. Vertical suplex. HHH comes confidently out of the corner, and drops a knee. 1, 2, Rocky kicks out. Another cover, 1, 2, he just gets out. One more for the road - 1, 2, not enough. HHH hammers Rocky - but Rocky comes back. Whip is reversed, and HHH catches Rocky with a sleeper. They fall to the mat - and Rocky's arm falls twice, staying alive on the third. HHH uses the ropes for leverage - and Shane misses it. Lawler with an AWESOME point: "You can't call what you can't see, you've said that a hundred times tonight." Shane drops the arms again, and again sees it fall twice only to stay alive on three. Rocky gets to his feet - fires with rights - comes off the ropes - and meets a clothesline. Hah! HHH covers, 1, 2, Rocky kicks out. Vince orders Shane to count faster. HHH berates Rocky in the corner. He climbs the turnbuckle, and delivers some rights. Rocky comes out of the corner, dropping HHH head first on the turnbuckle. Rocky to his feet and starts punching. Whip - they come off and meet in the middle with double clotheslines. Shane starts his 10 count, making sure HHH is okay. Shane gets to 7 - and while his back is turned with HHH, Vince nails The Rock with the World Title! HHH covers, 12Rockykicksout! They're getting desperate - and the crowd knows it. "Bullshit!" Rocky reverses HHH attack in the corner, and hits the spit punch! HHH is whipped, but it's reversed. Rocky comes out of the corner with a clothesline. He goes for a whip - and sends HHH back into the corner. HHH with a Flair flip over the top and to the floor. Rocky heads out and hits a clothesline on HHH. Sensing an injury in HHH's shoulder, Rocky pounces, dropping him shoulder first on the announce table. Back in - whip - but HHH with a knee first facebuster to stop that. HHH is lured in and Rocky hits a DDT. Cover…no count. Shane's flat out shaking his head no. Rocky's seen enough and shoots Shane over the top to the floor. HHH fells Rocky oughta follow, and sends him over too. Rocky is thrown into the steps shoulder first. HHH starts to clear off the table, and Shane gets rid of the monitors, knowing that while using the table is wrong, it's going to happen regardless, so let's avoid further injury. HHH sets Rocky on the table. HHH gets up - and sets the Pedigree. Rocky gets in a lowblow - so Shane gets up to block a Rock Bottom attempt, only to be added to the mix - and all three guys go through the table. Awesome spot. Vince's mouth is wide open in disbelief. Everyone's dead. You know, if they REALLY wanted to be dicks, they could have Shane call for a DQ right there. Rocky rolls HHH back in. Vince doesn't like this - so he runs in and double axehandle's Rocky. Rocky turns and gets his bugged eye look! He attacks Vince, but HHH is there with a lowblow. Pedigree!!!! Vince is calling for a referee desperately. Why, it's The Stooges in referee outfits! 1, 2, Rocky kicks out!!!! Patterson and Brisco start to stomp a mudhole in Rocky. Things are just impossible for Rocky at this point and nothing's going to save him. The Stooges hold Rocky for HHH who beats the hell out of him. Vince gets a chair. "Bullshit!" HHH picks up Rocky - Vince winds up…and connects with The Rock! That's it, that's all! HHH picks him up for a Pedigree one more time….and the glass breaks!!!!!! Austin arrives with chair in hand and beats up anything that moves. HHH first, Patterson, Brisco, Shane, Vince, nobody's safe. HHH gets back in - only to get clobbered one more time. Linda McMahon and the fired Earl Hebner make their way down to the ring. Stephanie gets in her mother's face, only to get shoved to the mat. Stephanie's in tears. HHH picks up the chair - but Rocky stops him with a spinebuster!!! People's Elbow coming up…and it hits!!!!! Earl Hebner in, 1, 2, 3!!!!!!!!!!!

Time: 19:22
****1/4

The show's not done yet though. Steve Austin comes back down to the ring in his pickup truck with the DX Express on the rear. Austin enters the ring and wants a beer. We have ourselves a staredown. Austin offers a beer to Rocky - and Rocky takes it. Austin toasts the WWF Title - and so does Rocky. Both boys drink their way through to the end of the show.

What a way to end the show. At the time I was absolutely heartbroken to see the reign of Triple H come to an end - but at the same time the WWF made me feel good by knowing the asshole got his in the end.

Total Matches: 9
Average Match Length: 11:01
Average Match Rating: 2.78 stars
Overall: ****1/4

Coming in, I WAS going to give this ***** flat out. The whole show I recalled being awesome. It's still awesome, but unfortunately there are some really glaring low and boring points, most notably the Acolytes vs. Bull/Bossman as well as the whole T&A vs. Dudleys until the end. The crowd wasn't fully in the show either which partially took away.

Still - this is one of the most well put together shows I've EVER seen. Everything's in the proper order and it ends with the fans going home happy. My favorite PPV of 2000 - but not the best.