I don't really feel like recapping No Way Out since we all know how that turned out, and I don't really feel like recapping the WWA show since anyone who saw it knows how THAT turned out. So I'll pick a tape at random and we'll all be happy.

FREE FOR ALL

Dok Hendrix welcomes us to Indianapolis, Indiana! Tonight - the first ever non-sanctioned match in WWF history, as The Undertaker takes on Mankind. This isn't any ordinary match though - one of these men are going to buried alive! On top of that, 4 other killer matches. Sid takes on Vader, and the winner gets a WWF World Heavyweight Title shot. These guys are two powerbomb specialists. Let's head off to the first video package!

The feud between Sid and Vader started when Vader and James E. Cornette accused Sid of stealing his powerbomb. Sid has the height advantage, but power and weight belong to Vader. Shawn Michaels says he was knocked out by both powerbombs, therefore they're equally effective. Killer line from Cornette: "He's gonna go through you like x-lax through a woman."

Vince McMahon and Jerry Lawler are ringside. Lawler's looking forward to the powerbomb match. Vince mentions that Savio Vega was set to take on Steve Austin, however due to injury, we're going to see Hunter Hearst Helmsley take on Austin instead.

Kevin Kelly stands with Faarooq. He's got a rematch with Marc Mero for the WWF Intercontinental Title. Faarooq is gonna take what he wants tonight. Kevin Kelly mentions that Ahmed Johnson is back tonight, at the Market Square arena. Faarooq thanks whoever wheeled him in tonight. Kelly mentions that Ahmed said on Livewire that he was gonna get Faarooq. Faarooq wonders if Ahmed wants to lose another kidney. Let's head on back to Dok Hendrix.

Once again - that big unsanctioned match is tonight. Here's how it works. The match starts in the ring, but the only way to win is to drag your opponent to the gravesite, grab a shovel, and bury him alive. Hype, hype, hype!

Let's hit the video package! The beginning, the caskets, the urn, the mind games, the brawls, buried alive.

Back to Lawler and Vince. When talking about funerals, Lawler adds: "At yours McMahon, you'd better hope the mourners outnumber the cheering section." They gloss over the fact JR is missing.

Kevin Kelly talks to Ahmed Johnson. He's ready to take care of Faarooq and get back in the ring. He and Faarooq are from the same neighborhood, the same walk of life. He promises to pay him back one way or another.

Call the superstar line at 1-900-737-4WWF, using option 8 to get post match interviews. The ad is brought to you by Lex Luger (or at least I would assume it's brought to you by Luger, since they use his WCW music and all…)

Buried Alive is brought to you by Crash Bandicoot. Marc Mero does a Wild Thing just for kicks.

Vince wonders if we'll see the Wild Thing tonight. Lawler thinks Faarooq could kick out of the Wild Thing.

Backstage, Ahmed Johnson has beaten Faarooq with a two by four. Security is all over the place, while Faarooq holds his midsection. Vince mentions, even with the injury, the show must go on. So, you're telling me if someone died…

Undertaker walks around a grave, wondering how it came to this. They're so similar, yet worlds apart. Each time Mankind has escaped, he's grown stronger, yet more evil. So now he must be the judge, jury, and executioner. These aren't mind games. This is reality. Without death, there cannot be life. If it takes destroying The Undertaker to destroy Mankind, then that's what he'll do, because Mankind MUST be extinguished. On the edge of Armageddon, why doesn't he try to imagine what those last breaths of air will taste like.

Dok Hendrix is screaming a whole lot, but no one can hear him. Vince fixes that all up. Don't wait until tomorrow morning to hear about the show, PUSH THAT BUTTON OR CALL YOUR CABLE COMPANY!

Kevin Kelly gets set to interview The Smoking Gunns in the ring. They have a chance to become the 4 time WWF World Tag-Team Champions. Billy is fixin' to show all those fans why they're the greatest team to ever step into the ring. They're also fixin' to get back what is theirs - in Sunny. Bart just wants the titles back. Billy continues to suck up to Sunny, and heads off to go have a talk with her. Bart looks fairly pissed off.

Lawler continues to miss Jim Ross, while some thunder and lightning go off. BONG! Undertaker's here! "Creatures of the night…are you ready? Tonight you will witness the end of Mankind. I will take his battered carcass, and plant it in that cemetery that lays there before you, and I will cover him until he is no more. And then the feast shall begin. Creatures, are you ready? The hounds of hell are now baying for your soul Mankind. The end is at hand. I come before you Mankind. Mankind, you will never rest in peace." BONG!

Jim Ross has been found. Vince looks forward to JR joining them. Lawler gets on him, "YOU hope he comes out here? YOU???" I suppose newer fans might be wondering what the big deal with JR is? Well, with Kevin Nash and Scott Hall out in WCW and tearing up the ratings, JR decided to announce on WWF television that Razor Ramon and Diesel were on their way back to the fed. He kept promising to deliver. The night he was expected to introduce them, WCW made sure Nash and Hall were in the first hour of Nitro to keep people from flipping over. On RAW, JR cut a bitter promo against Vince McMahon essentially turning his character heel, and introduced a couple of guys playing the gimmicks of Razor Ramon and Diesel. It didn't go over so well with the fanbase, but it was certainly interesting - if stupid move on the part of the WWF.

Gorilla Monsoon updates the condition of Faarooq. Faarooq cannot take the title shot because he's so hurt. Goldust will take his place.

Fans chant "Burger King" towards Lawler, while Vince runs down the card really quick. Jim Ross makes his way out finally. Jim Ross puts on his headset, and keeps trying to tear into Vince, but for some reason his headset won't work.

The PPV is next!

WWF IN YOUR HOUSE: BURIED ALIVE

Our hosts are Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler, and Jim Ross. JR wonders why they have microphones and he doesn't. Vince gives him his microphone, and JR starts to rant, but the music of Hunter Hearst Helmsley cuts him off.

HUNTER HEARST HELMSLEY (with bimbo) vs. STEVE AUSTIN

Kevin Kelly grabs a word with Steve Austin. Austin knows there's nothing wrong with Savio Vega - and gives HHH credit for stepping in the ring with him. If Vega comes back, he'll retire him. If anyone has a problem with this, they can kiss his ass, and Vince of all people jumps in with "alright, that's enough of that". JR says some people have different opinions that others and shouldn't be censored. This is a heel vs. heel matchup in case you were wondering. JR's mic keeps going on and off during this match, and throughout the night which is REALLY funny.

Lockup, armdrag takeover by Helmsley. He curtseys in the direction of Austin, to boos. Austin heads to the outside to jaw with fans while tech guys fix JR's mic. Helmsley too goes outside to jaw with fans. Lockup, armdrag takedown by Austin - and HHH gets flipped off. Side headlock, HHH tries to power out, gets caught in a hammerlock, but HHH elbows him in the jaw. Side headlock by HHH, into a hammerlock, and Austin knocks him in the jaw. Fans chant "Perfect" for Curt Hennig, who is going to face HHH the next night in his return match. HHH gets Austin in the corner, shoves him, and they trade slaps. Helmsley rolls to the outside holding his nose. Back into the ring, lockup, HHH with a headlock, run into the ropes, knocks Austin down with a shoulderblock. He comes off again, but gets a forearm to the face. Snapmare, knee to the chest, 1, 2, Helmsley's out. Snapmare, armbar in the middle of the ring. Austin lets go, and drops his knee on the elbow of HHH a number of times. Wristlock, Austin drags on the arm, knucklelock, and HHH pokes Austin in the eyes to escape. Chop, chop, whip, and Austin runs into the turnbuckle. HHH charges, eats boot, Austin with a clothesline out of the corner, 1, 2, kickout. HHH gets up, takes a hiptoss, and Austin slaps back on an armbar. JR says "a lot of rich arrogant people live in Grenich, where you from Vince?" Helmsley gets up, Austin off the ropes, and gets caught with a knee to the midsection. Austin sent headfirst into the turnbuckle. Series of kicks and punches in the corner. Austin reverses and comes back with right hands of his own. Whip - reversed, Austin comes out of the corner, and gets met with a backdrop. Vertical suplex midring by HHH, followed by a kneedrop to the face, 1, 2, Austin kicks out. HHH picks him up, belly to back suplex, 1, 2, Austin out. Another cover, 1, 2, Austin gets out again. HHH works a rear chinlock on the mat. At this point, JR sounds like he's talking out of a crappy radio. Chinlock still applied - Austin to his feet, elbows out, comes off the ropes, knocks HHH down, comes from the other side, and gets caught with a sleeper. Austin reverses, and HHH reverses that, so Austin connects with a jawbreaker (not the Stunner), 1, 2, Helmsley gets a shoulder up. HHH runs Austin into the ropes, Austin holds on though and HHH bounces back. He charges again, and Austin delivers a Stun Gun! Double axehandle from the middle turnbuckle, 1, 2, NO! He covers again, 1, 2, HHH is up again. Whip, reversed, and Austin is met with a knee on the rebound. To the middle rope, HHH drops a knee, 1, 2, Austin's out! Lawler tries to egg on Ross. "Does that ever get on your nerves? How McMahon goes 1, 2, he got him, no!" Vince: "Well he almost got him." JR starts going on about how Vince is uncreative and repetitive. Double clothesline spot knocks both guys out, and Mr. Perfect arrives! Perfect heads over to HHH's bimbo, which distracts HHH and takes him to the floor. Austin follows, and lays a beating on HHH. Austin gets in Perfect's face, then heads back in. Perfect has other ideas though, and yanks Austin back to the floor. Austin tells him he wants nothing to do with him, so Perfect turns his back, and Austin throws water in his face. HHH back in the ring takes over with punches, and stomps on the mat. Perfect starts to take off with the bimbo. Pedigree setup, but he notices Perfect leaving. Helmsley chases him, but security get in their way. Austin goes for a suplex on the concrete, but HHH reverses into a suplex of his own! He sets the Pedigree, but gets dumped into a catapult position, and gets driven into the ring post!! HHH is rolled into the ring, Austin runs towards the ropes, HHH moves to the middle of the ring, and gets met with a Stunner! 1, 2, 3!

Time: 15:32
**

Billy Gunn has always been smitten with Sunny - which has lead to problems behind the scenes with his brother Bart. At Mind Games, they lost the titles to Owen Hart and The British Bulldog because Billy was more concerned with Sunny. Sunny quit the team. Tonight, they have a quest - Bart for the titles, Billy for the girl.

Dok Hendrix wants to know if they can get focused. Billy's looking forward to having Sunny back. Bart tells him to forget Sunny, they have a match to worry about.

THE SMOKING GUNNS vs. OWEN HART and THE BRITISH BULLDOG (for the WWF World Tag-Team Titles)

Billy's still a steer, and not quite a queer. I make me laugh. Billy catches Owen with a quick headlock and a snapmare gets a two count. Owen's rapidly on his feet. Who the hell are the faces? Off the ropes - and Billy hangs on to Owen's hair working the headlock. Looks painful. Billy snaps him over, going for the pin, but Owen scissors out. Hiptoss is blocked, clothesline from Gunn knocks Owen down. Billy goes to the top - takes too much time and caught with a fist to the midsection. Bulldog in, double clothesline! Billy is whipped off the ropes - and caught with the drop toe hold, followed by a legdrop. Each Hart family member grab a leg - and it's the dreaded pull apart. Billy manages to recover and catch Bulldog in the corner. Across the ring, Bulldog winds up in the opposite corner, and Bart drops him behind the back of the referee. Bart is tagged in while we stare at Sunny in the back who's watching the match. Double elbow, 1, 2, Bulldog is up. He puts a headlock on Bart. Sent off the ropes - catches Bart with a shoulder. Another! A third charge leads to Bulldog getting caught in the arms of Bart, and met with a powerslam. Oooh! Bart heads to the top rope - crossbody, but Bulldog ducks. Bulldog hits a flying bodypress of his own, 1, 2, no. Tag out to Owen, Bulldog holds Bart, and Owen comes off the top with a dropkick, 1, 2, broken up by Billy. Owen works Bart in the corner, and tags in Bulldog. Double clothesline, whip into the corner, whip into the other corner, and Bart falls. Cover, 1, 2, no. Sunny shows off her cleavage. Owen was tagged in here, and he drops a leg. The rear chinlock is put on Lefty. Bart gets to his feet - runs off the ropes, and accidently knocks a distracted Billy Gunn (who's posing down with Bulldog) to the floor. Owen's right there to roll him up - 1, 2, NO! Owen is whipped into the ropes, grabbed by Billy, he turns around, and is clipped by Bart. Bart distracts the ref, and Owen gets his neck snapped back across the ropes by Billy. Billy tagged in - double Russian legsweep into a cover, 1, 2, Owen's shoulder is up. Elbowdrop, neckbreaker, tag out to Bart. Owen is held by Billy, leading to a series of shots to his midsection. Twisting neckbreaker, cover - 1, 2, Owen kicks out. Owen crawls, but Bart holds on while making a tag out to Billy. Billy holds Owen, and tags in Bart again right away. Whip into the corner, Bart is down on all fours - Billy runs over the back and a BIG splash! Bart takes Owen in his arms, awaiting Billy to hit the Sidewinder. Bulldog has snuck up behind and grabbed on to the pants of Bart. (How stupid is Bart not to notice the hand right on his ass?) When the time is right - Bulldog pulls Bart back, and Billy dropkicks his own partner! Owen comes off the ropes with a kick to Billy, and covers. 1, 2, 3!

Time: 9:16
**1/4

Good tag-team stuff here. Sunny applauds from the back, and Billy is absolutely dejected. Bart just looks flat out irritated.

Backstage at the Superstar line, Hunter's on the phone. That number is 1-900-737-4WWF.

JR's in the ring losing his mind. He says tomorrow night on RAW, Bret Hart is going to be there. He's not coming back because Vince wants him back - he's coming back because JR went to South Africa to talk to Bret. Bottom line, Bret Hart is going to be uncensored tomorrow night. JR says that since the egotistical owner has screwed up all the mics, here's another one. Vince makes the one handed grab!

Let's head back to the Free For All - where Faarooq was taken out by Ahmed Johnson.

Mr. Perfect's music hits, and out he walks, with JR for some reason. JR says some stuff to Perfect, and goes away again. Thank the lord! Perfect joins the commentary team.

GOLDUST (with Marlena) vs. MARC MERO (with Sable) (for the WWF Intercontinental Title)

Mero says it's unfortunate what happened to Faarooq, but Goldust is fine with him. Lawler reminds him he's never beaten Goldust, so Mero tells him "I'm the champ, you're the chump". Big words there Marc.

We're off. Mero starts with an armdrag. Another lockup, Goldust gets Mero in the corner and is ordered to break. Boot to the midsection, and Goldust hammers away at the back. Whip - reversed - and met with a hiptoss. Mero catches Goldust with a bunch of armdrags, followed by a drop toe hold, and an armbar. One more armdrag for the road! Hiptoss, armbar, but countered by Goldust. Goldust chops. Whip across into the corner, and Goldust punches away at the skull of Mero. Goldust slaps Mero around - Mero has enough and catches Goldust with a spinebuster! The referee pulls Mero off Goldust - but Mero's right there with a headscissors. Back bodydrop floors Goldust, and he goes out to the floor. Mero's not done though - tope con hilo!!! Goldust is thrown back in, and Mero connects with the slingshot legdrop. 1, 2, NO! Goldust gets whipped - but it's reversed. Goldust charges, and is met with a back elbow. Mero to the top - caught by the throat and super chokeslammed! Whew! Mero is sent outside, and slammed face first into the steps. Mero comes in, gets whipped - and met with a clothesline! Rear chinlock worked on the mat. Mero fights to his feet - comes off the ropes, and is met with a knee to the midsection. Fist/elbowdrop thing that looks neat is landed. 1, 2, nope. Another cover, 1, 2, he's up. Chinlock is applied a second time, but Goldust gets tired of that and punches him. Mero uses that to fire himself up and gets to his feet. They run back and forth across the ropes - and finally Mero gets a crossbody. 1, 2, NO!!! He starts to argue - turns around and is caught with a clothesline. Goldust asks for a microphone:

"Shut the hell up. You don't shut up right now, I'm personally coming out there and I'm gonna stick my tongue (couldn't make it out, Vince started talking)"

Goldust tries a headlock, but Mero drops back with the belly to back! Mero heads up to the top - one bounce, turns, and moonsaults Goldust! 1, 2, HE'S UP! Mero is sent right into the turnbuckle, and right into the Final Curtain, but Mero lands on his feet and rolls Goldust up. 1, 2, NO! Mero charges Goldust but gets backdropped to the floor. Goldust punches, and heads in. Perfect is tired of the referee's lousy refereeing, and heads over to Mero to roll him in. Hunter Hearst Helmsley comes out, and the two start barking at eachother. Goldust comes over to Perfect - and Perfect lays him out with a STIFF shot to the mouth! In the ring, Mero hits a Samoan drop on Goldust - and heads to the top rope! Wild Thing, 1, 2, 3!!!!

Time: 11:37
***1/2

That was REALLY energetic. About 2 stars higher than I was anticipating coming in - so I'm pleased.

Jim Ross sits at the America Online booth with Razor Ramon and Diesel. Let's just move on - PLEASE!

SID vs. VADER (with James E. Cornette) (in a Number One Contender match)

Winner faces Shawn Michaels at Survivor Series. And speaking of Shawn, here's the WWF Champion. He shakes the hand of Sid, but being a poor sport won't shake Vader's. Cornette gets all up in Shawn's area, so Shawn boots him in the ass, and ducks the charging Vader's clothesline.

Sid with a series of punches, a clothesline, legdrop, 1, 2, hey, that ended all the matches in the 80's. 10 punch count along, which ends at 5. Sid's ALREADY half assing it? Vader comes back and beats Sid in the opposite corner with a bunch of rights. Short arm clothesline. Sid set back in the corner, Vader charges across the ring, splash! Sid rolls out to the floor, and Michaels roots him on. Lawler accused Shawn of having a fear of big men or rather "fe fi phobia". Cornette smacks Sid with the tennis racket, because he can. Sid gets back on the apron, and actually tries a sunset flip! Vader doesn't go over - and sits right down on the chest of Sid. Couple of short arm clotheslines are no sold - but the third sends Sid back to the mat. Sid gets to his feet, but gets put into a headlock. Sid falls backwards, taking Vader with him in a belly to back suplex. Vader is up first regardless. Right, right, right, right, right, whip, reverse, into the corner, big boot to Vader's chest! Another whip, reversed, Sid gets his boot up, and Vader gets a mouthful. Sid heads up top - leaps, and GETS CAUGHT by Vader! Unreal! Vader slams him to the mat, and hits a splash. 1, 2, Sid's shoulder is up. Vader goes to the second rope, and hits a splash, 1, 2, he picks Sid up! You're a crazy man. One handed cover, 1, 2, no he was using Sid to pick himself up. Hah! To the second rope - Vaderbomb! Sid gets his knees up! Sid's back up - clothesline! Scoop and a slam! Sid is feeling it now. Powerbomb is set up, and Cornette is on the apron. Sid knows he's there, lets go of the powerbomb, and pulls the rope up between Cornette's legs. Back to Vader, another powerbomb is set up. While the ref is checking Cornette, Vader manages a lowblow. Now Vader's setting the powerbomb up. He can't lift Sid on the first try. Another heave - no sir! Vader punches Sid in the back, runs off the ropes - and RIGHT into a chokeslam! Cover, 1, 2, 3!

Time: 8:00
**

Hey, I like both guys and nothing actively sucked. Michaels goes into the ring to congratulate the winner of the match. Sid's all smiles tonight, and points at his head. They shake - and Shawn points to the winner.

Dok Hendrix hypes the Survivor Series. November 17th in Madison Square Garden. Sid's standing with him. Jim Ross gets in Sid's face. He reminds Sid he's powerbombed Michaels 5 times on RAW. Sid says he'll do anything to get the title because he's master and ruler of the world.

Here's that video package for Mankind and The Undertaker one more time!

MANKIND (with Paul Bearer) vs. THE UNDERTAKER (in a Buried Alive match)

They waste no time slugging it out - with Undertaker getting the advantage. Mankind comes right back and slams Taker's head into the turnbuckle. Whip across the ring - Taker comes right out of the corner and throws Mankind into it. Lots of punching ensues, and Mankind winds up on the floor. He goes to pull out Taker, but Taker shoves Mankind back with his boot right into the guardrail. Taker heads to the top - and clotheslines Mankind on the floor! They start to brawl in the aisle, with Mankind's head shoved into the guardrail a few times. Mankind winds up on the gravesite, and Taker goes to get a shovel. Mankind is able to send the shovel into Taker's throat - and go for control. Taker pulls out a small package on top of the mound, and they roll down the hill together. They head back to ringside - and Mankind gets a face full of steps. They go into the ring, though not for long as Mankind is quickly hammered out to the floor. Taker grabs some cables and starts to choke Mankind out. Mankind is sent into the crowd and Taker follows. A couple of punches follow, then Mankind is whipped back over the railing. Taker runs - and hits a flying clothesline over top of the guardrail. He's giving it his all tonight! In the ring, big headbutt. Another! Mankind tries to climb out but Taker restrains him and headbutts him again. Grab of the arm, and we're going Old School! Paul Bearer doesn't think so, grabs the rope, and he's crotched HARD! Mankind leaps on Taker and starts to choke him (and squeals). Taker gets up, and sends Mankind face first into the turnbuckle. Big uppercut floors him, but Paul Bearer's right there to give Mankind something. He uses it to clock Taker. (It looks like a pen.) He stabs it into the forehead of Taker repeatedly. Whip - Taker comes out of the corner with an elbow. Taker grabs the object and starts to beat Mankind with it. He comes off the ropes with a clothesline, followed by a legdrop. Taker rolls out to the floor and starts chasing Paul Bearer around the ring. Mankind heads under the ring to get a chair. He chases Taker who's chasing Paul. Taker turns to stop the shot with a boot to the midsection - turns back to Paul - turns back to Mankind and takes a chair to the head. Taker crawls over towards the stairs, Mankind charges, and drives his knee into Taker's face! They head towards the gravesite quickly, and Taker is balancing at the edge of it. Mankind kicks at him and puts Taker in the grave. Just before he starts to pile the dirt on, Taker's on his feet and pulls Mankind in! Mankind grabs a handful of dirt and puts it in Taker's eyes. They continue to fight on top - and Mankind gets tossed off the top and to the floor! They fight down the aisle again and into the ring, where Mankind pulls out a piledriver from nowhere. He goes for a cover, which the ref tells him is a no go, and he starts to pull out his own hair in annoyance. Taker fights back with a series of body shots. Off the ropes - elbowdrop, nobody home! Mankind gets the chair into the ring, lays it on the ground, and hits a double arm DDT on the chair! "Tonight he'll die" screams Paul! Taker does the zombie sit up, grabs the chair, and nails Mankind HARD across the back. Chair set on the face of Mankind, and we have a legdrop! Mankind crawls off to the apron, gets caught, but hits an ace crusher. On the floor Mankind tries another piledriver, but Taker picks him up on his back and drives him back into the steps! Taker picks up the steel steps and launches them into the ring. Mankind crawls in, turns, and gets the steps thrown in his face. Taker lifts the steps and drives them into Mankind's back. Taker lifts him - TOMBSTONE! Taker lifts Mankind in a fireman's carry position and we're headed back to the gravesite. Mankind sits up on the edge of the dirt with a Mandible Claw and fights Taker down. Paul Bearer tosses the urn, Mankind lifts it to nail Taker, but Taker gets a big chokehold and CHOKESLAMS Mankind into the grave! Taker grabs the shovel and starts to bury Mankind. He manages to scoop enough dirt onto Mankind to be called the winner!

Time: 18:22
***

But we're not done. Taker shoves the referees away as they try to stop him from burying Mankind any further. From behind, Some Guy (The Executioner, AKA Terry Gordy) is on the scene and whacks Taker with a shovel over the back. He pulls Mankind out of the grave and the two of them work at a rapid pace to bury Undertaker! The fans chant "Rest In Peace!" as a bunch other guys come out to help put The Undertaker into the ground. Goldust is there, so's Justin Bradshaw, and HHH. The grave is quickly filled with dirt (and trash from the fans). And by quickly, I mean they take about 5 hours. Suddenly (in doors) a thunder storm starts and everyone except Paul Bearer, Mankind, and The Executioner take off. They finish their burial, and a flash if lightning hits the grave. Taker's hand pops up and Vince starts screaming about The Undertaker being alive. Umm, yeah.

Total Matches: 5
Average Match Length: 12:33
Average Match Rating: 2.55 stars
Overall: **1/4

Despite the hard work of everyone involved, the show is pretty lousy. I know the hand popping up at the end was supposedly a big deal at the time, but it does absolutely nothing for me. I can't recommend seeing a show with no real redeeming value (unless you want to see someone buried in dirt) so I won't.