It's been awhile…

As anyone who regularly has read me in the past is probably well aware, I got REALLY pissed with WWE back in July when Stephanie McMahon decided the solution to all their problems was MORE STEPHANIE! I stopped watching Smackdown! all together because I wasn't interested in the Stephanie McMahon lovefest Part 3.

Then my lease came up…and I had NO place to go and about 3 weeks to find a job.

So the search came…and I lucked out within a very short amount of time working customer service at Bell Sympatico. (At which point a HUGE thanks goes out to Wienerville's own Socks for pointing me in that direction.) So I had the job, but no apartment…

Again, the search continued and about 2 weeks ago I managed to find a landlord who wasn't afraid of a 20 year old kid without a co-signer in downtown Ottawa. Last night I moved my stuff in. Today, I have no phone, no cable, and a day off.

I imagine by the time I'm able to get online and submit this to Slash it'll be Friday or even the weekend at which point I will have a phone, maybe cable, and no more days off.

But I'm REALLY REALLY bored…. I could go about putting the apartment in order or something but I'm not particularly in the mood. So with options at a minimum reviewing a tape seems like a good idea…

Unless of course the tape blows.

I haven't actually ever watched this one from start to finish in one go. It's generally seemed fairly decent, and my friend who's watched it a few times has declared it "pretty good" so I'll give it a go.

Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan (drunk off his ass), and Gene Okerlund are live from Detroit, Michigan and waste no time about talking retirement! No, not their own… Should Ric Flair lose tonight, his career is done! Finished! Over! Heenan promises Hulkamania is going to end TONIGHT.

THE HONKY TONK MAN vs. JOHNNY B. BADD (for the WCW World Television Title)

Badd's wearing fangs… A man in drag cheers Badd all the way to the ring. Badd comes at Honky with punches - and Honky ducks under the turnbuckle while the ref pulls Badd away. Lockup - armwringer by Honky - but it's reversed by Badd who brings Honky over and drops the legs down on his arm. Honky puts on a headlock and cheap shots Badd twice - first time with a punch and the second with a thumb to the eye. He tries a punch - but Badd ducks and hits an atomic drop. A right hand drops Honky who rolls out. Back in, Honky sends Badd to the turnbuckle headfirst and snapmares him over. Boot to the midsection - but Badd fires back with punches to the midsection. Badd is whipped into the ropes - and Honky nails him with the Double Hitchhike, and Badd drops to the mat quickly. Honky drops with the double axehandle right to the midsection and applies a rear chinlock in the dead centre of the ring. Badd fights out - and knocks over Honky when they bump into eachother. Badd off the ropes - and Honky's got his knee up dropping Badd again. Mohammad Ali is ringside! Heenan says Ali may have thought he was the greatest, but he's going to be seeing Ric Flair in just a couple of hours who IS the greatest. Badd with a sunset flip - 1, 2, Honky kicks away. He comes back with a double axehandle to the back but Badd's not phased and he fires away with his punches to the midsection. Honky snapmares Badd back down and puts on a headlock. Ringside announcer reminds us this match has 5 minutes remaining. Scoop and a slam - and another from Badd! He goes for an elbowdrop, but Honky moves and immediately goes back to the headlock. 4 minutes left. Honky sets him up for the Shake Rattle And Roll - but Johnny backdrops him! Johnny whips Honky across the ring - and tries an avalanche only Honky sidesteps and Badd hits the turnbuckle REALLY rough! Honky leaps on him with a pin - and his feet on the ropes! 1, 2, Nick Patrick sees the feet and tells Honky to take them off. 3 minutes left. Honky throws Badd through the middle ropes - and double axehandles him on the outside. Back in - Honky snapmares Badd and puts on the rear chinlock. 2 minutes remaining. Johnny fights to his feet - but Honky lowblows him while the ref is distracted. Badd keeps coming back though, and shoves Honky's head to the turnbuckle 5 times - then mounts the ropes and connects 5 more times! 1 minute left. Johnny tries the Kiss That Don't Miss - and takes a belly to back suplex! Honky chokes Badd - and Badd chokes back. They roll around beating the hell out of eachother…and the time expires.

Time: 9:52
*

PRETTY WONDERFUL vs. STARS AND STRIPES (for the WCW World Tag-Team Titles)

Less than a month ago - Stars And Stripes upset Pretty Wonderful on WCW Main Event to capture the belts, so this is the rematch. Patriot and Orndorff start - tie up - and the ref orders a break when they hit the ropes. THIS JUST IN: Bobby Heenan knows who the Patriot is. He's from Washington DC? It must be Al Gore! Roma and Bagwell both come in and start fighting. Patriot is thrown out - and Orndorff follows only to get thrown into the guardrail. Back in - an axehandle from the top nails Orndorff, who staggers to the wrong corner and takes a right from Bagwell. Roma gets tagged in - and so is Bagwell who works over the arm of Roma. Roma slams Bagwell - heads to the top and hits a flying headbutt! Bagwell goes off the ropes - and ducks a couple of chops from Roma - nailing a nice crossbody! 1, 2, Roma kicks away, and Bagwell's right back on him with an armdrag and tags in Patriot. Double hiptoss - Patriot covers, 1, 2, Roma kicks out. Patriot yanks on the arm - Bagwell gets tagged, and hits a sunset flip from the top! 1, 2, Roma gets out. Roma knees Bagwell in the gut and tags in Orndorff. Orndorff charges - and is taken down with a drop toe hold into a hammerlock which doesn't stay on - so Bagwell's forced to keep yanking on the arm. Bagwell comes off the ropes and slams Orndorff twice then clotheslines him. Orndorff has had enough of Bagwell and rolls out to catch himself. Back in - he rolls with a headlock and reaches out to tag Roma while applying the hold. Roma drops down with elbows while Orndorff holds Bagwell hostage. Roma continues to kick at Bagwell. The referee gets distracted with Patriot, so Pretty Wonderful works over Bagwell for awhile. Bagwell fights back to his corner and tags the Patriot - who whips Roma across, avalanche splash, cover, 1, 2, not enough. Roma pulls the tights and sends Bagwell right to the heel corner, and Orndorff tags in. Off the ropes - Orndorff "winds it up" and drops the knee! Bagwell tries to fire back, while Tony reminds us that Orndorff won his first tag-team title with Jimmy Snuka back in 1978. Roma tags in - and comes off the top with an axehandle. Roma and Bagwell trade blows in the corner. Bagwell whips Roma - telegraphs the backdrop and pays! Down he goes. Roma drops an elbow, cover, 1, 2, kickout. Roma with a gutbuster - covers, 1, and pulls Bagwell up. That…was strange. Whip of Bagwell - dropkick to the face! Whip to the corner - Bagwell leaps to the middle rope - turns - and comes right down on Roma with a crossbody (Tony: Flying headscissors!!!!), hooks the leg, 1, 2, Roma kicks out! Roma tags in Orndorff and dropkicks him between the eyes. Elbow to the midsection - Orndorff holds a front facelock in place and Bagwell starts to fade. Orndorff hits a kneelift. Bagwell is whipped into the ropes - Roma meets him with a knee to the back and Orndorff clotheslines him down. Orndorff stomps Bagwell - plants him headfirst in the mat - and goes for a vertical suplex. It's blocked and reversed by Bagwell - and he tries a cover. 1, 2, Orndorff is out, up and kicks Bagwell before he can tag. Orndorff tries a backslide - but it's reversed by Bagwell into one of his own, 1, 2, Roma's in to break that up. Patriot comes over and the ref chases him away. Orndorff whips Bagwell - tries an avalanche but Bagwell's foot is up! Bagwell puts on a sleeper hold. Patriot tries to get in, but the referee holds him back - letting Roma get in to break up the sleeper. Patriot gets over anyway and takes down Roma with punches and slams him. Bagwell takes out Orndorff on the otherside. Double clotheslines. Fisherman's suplex with a bridge from Bagwell - which is his finisher! The referee's busy with getting Patriot back to the corner though, and misses Roma coming off the top with a great looking guillotine legdrop! Orndorff is covering, 1, 2, 3, new champs!

Time: 13:46
*3/4

KEVIN SULLIVAN vs. DAVE SULLIVAN

Dave Sullivan's got a new song… "I Wanna Be A Hulkamaniac" sung by kids. I kid you not. He's dressed in red and yellow as well to sell the point that he is indeed a retarded character. Though not quite as lame as Kevin Sullivan trying to play a crazy by overacting with the sudden jerks and the constant forced blinking - and doing everything but wear a straight jacket and call himself Norman The Lunatic. At least they'll have a good match, right? Kevin tries to attack before the bell, but the retarded Dave is much smarter than Kevin and was ready for that. Whip - and Dave does something resembling a shove and Kevin goes through the middle ropes to the floor. Dave takes off the Hulkster paraphernalia and gets stomped down by Kevin, since he no longer has the power of Hogan. I could technically call that last move a short arm clothesline, but short arm clotheslines might take offence, so Kevin attacks his brother by pulling him too close and Dave falls to the mat. Hey - a dropkick! And it wasn't completely embarrassing! Thanks Kevin! However, we'll quickly move away from that disgusting display of wrestling and go back to this match. Kevin pulls the waddling Dave over to the corner and tries to slam his head to the turnbuckle - but it's blocked and DAVE IS GROWLING OMG HE'S CHANNELLING THE HULKSTER'S ALMIGHTY POWER!!! He bounces Kevin's head off the turnbuckle 10 times and Kevin gingerly falls back. Dave waddles around growling - and somehow we get a backdrop out of it which Kevin takes competently. Dave slowly lumbers over - Kevin gives his brother a gentle tug on the tights - and Dave ever so slowly goes through the middle rope. Kevin heads out to check on his brother - but for whatever reason, when Kevin grabs Dave's arm, Dave goes running into the nearest ringpost. (Thankfully - not too hard… See, he's only kinda retarded.) Dave tries to get in but Kevin's feeling playful and kicks at his brother. Dave gets in and gets a horrified look on his face as Kevin The Lunatic starts throwing fake punches. Dave, unsure of what to do, starts throwing fake punches at his brother's gut. Dave whips Kevin across the ring, and then runs about as fast as you'd imagine he can go - and meets Kevin's foot right to the face. Kevin sets up Dave on the ropes - Bossman straddle. If you're reading between the lines here, you might notice that there are no words there… Snapmare, and Kevin stomps on Dave. Kevin heads outside and grabs a Hogan bandana. (Bobby: Shove it down his throat.) And the most DEVISTATING finisher today - the JUMP ON THE STOMACH is hit by Kevin. That's it, stretcher Dave out, nobody can survive the JUMP ON THE STOMACH. Kevin puts his hand to ear ala Hogan. ANOTHER JUMP ON THE STOMACH AHHHHHHHHHHH! But Dave is alive! What a man that Dave is! Dave stops Kevin from coming off the top rope (thank god), and then puts on sort of a mandible claw briefly with the Hulkster bandana. Dave with a (Tony: The big clothesline!) bump to Kevin and whips him. Big boot. Dave dances in a circle and slaps his hands together. Yup, I wanna be a Hulkamania too. Kevin, for no apparent reason, starts tying the Hogan bandana to his own head. Dave, now dumber than Sting, seems to think this means Kevin loves him. Dave pats his brother, and takes a punch to the face. On the outside they slap eachother a whole lot, like a couple of pre-teen women, and Kevin shoves Dave into the post. Incapable of selling anything, except his clear psychological issues, Dave rolls back in. Nick Patrick rings the bell because Dave beat the 10 count. Thank god. You know, I always said I'd never give negative stars…but fuck it.

Time: 5:18
-**

The rule is now changed. Negative stars for everyone! As long as they earn them…

ARN ANDERSON (with Col. Robert Parker and Meng) vs. DUSTIN RHODES

Hey - two awesome midcarders, now we're talking! That's all I wanted. No more Sullivans. Lockup - Dustin forces Arn back to the corner, while we look at Some Boxer who's name was given, but I don't want to rewind to find out. Dustin tries a hiptoss, but Arn stays grounded and in one smooth move Arn hooks the leg and takes Dustin over. Arn stops to tell the ref that Dustin's been pulling his hair - despite the fact he has nearly no hair to pull. Lockup - and Arn quickly applies a hammerlock. Dustin takes him over with a snapmare - and again Arn whines about hair pulling. Lockup - the referee tries to break the duo up - and while he's in the middle, Arn gets in a stiff shot. The referee warns Arn - and while he's doing that, Dustin lands an even stiffer blow right to Arn! The referee lets it go - if only because Arn did it first. Dustin whips Arn to the corner - Arn lifts his boot - but Dustin stops short and grabs the leg, pulling Arn to the middle of the ring. He swings Arn around - atomic drop - followed by a rear clothesline. Dustin climbs to the top, and Arn cuts him off. Arn heads up - but Dustin headbutts him down - followed by a clothesline, 1, 2, Arn kicks out. Whip across the ring - Dustin sets up flip, flop, and fly - but Arn clocks him right in the jaw, and down goes Rhodes. Arn leaps from the middle rope - Dustin puts a boot up - but Arn lands on his feet, shoves the foot aside, and drops down with an elbow! THAT is smart wrestling. Arn kicks at Rhodes' leg and goes for a figure four - but Dustin shoves him off while Arn crosses the legs and Arn falls through the middle rope to the floor. Dustin follows and they fight outside… Arn winds up for a punch - but Dustin ducks and Arn NAILS the post. Ow! Dustin immediately throws Arn shoulder first into the post, and Arn smartly rolls back in, before that post can do anymore damage. Hammerlock applied - and Arn is whipped into the turnbuckle shoulder first, followed by being rolled up - 1, 2, Arn kicks away. Dustin continues to work over the shoulder. Armwringer, but Arn shoves Dustin to his ass. Dustin hangs on to the arm and pulls Arn down with him, drops a leg on the arm, and applies a cross armbreaker. Arn fights to his feet, but Dustin pulls him back down and kneedrops it. Dustin whips Arn into the ropes and catches him with an atomic drop. Dustin charges with the clothesline - but Arn ducks and yanks the top rope down, sending Dustin flying. Dustin goes about 8 feet down the rampway. Slowly he makes his way back to the apron, and Arn knocks him down with a shot, then kicks him off the apron. Back in - whip - Arn catches him with a fist to the gut. Cover, 1, 2, kickout. Another cover, 1, 2, kickout. Arn pushes down on the other shoulder, 1, 2, Dustin powers out. Dustin tries to get on a bodyscissors - but Arn pulls Dustin by the legs underneath the ropes - and slingshots him neck first into the bottom rope. Arn runs Dustin's face across the top rope - and Dustin FLIPS out and nails Arn in the face, then runs Arn's face across the rope. Now they trade punches. Arn whips Dustin - and we have a double clothesline. They both get up and trade shots again. Arn is swinging wildly though, while all of Dustin's shots are landing hard. Boot to the midsection - whip - Arn comes off - Dustin boots him in the midsection again, off the ropes - kick to the head. Whip - Dustin hits a clothesline, rushes over to cover, 1, 2, Arn gets a shoulder up. Arn is set up on the ropes staggering and Dustin gets in a couple of rights. Whip - Dustin sets up a backdrop - but Arn catches him by the head, tries the DDT, but Dustin hooks the top rope and Arn hits nothing. Dustin drops an elbow, 1, 2, Arn kicks out. Dustin picks up Arn - Stun Gun! Dustin takes off his kneepad, and tries a kneedrop on the arm. He misses - Arn tries to piledrive him - but Dustin backdrops Arn who hangs on and sunset flips Dustin! 1, 2, Randy Anderson sees Arn holding the ropes and stops it - Dustin reverses the move, 1, 2, 3!

Time: 9:52
***1/2

Arn Anderson rules, and Dustin Rhodes is REALLY underrated!

Col. Parker, Meng, and Arn all attack Dustin. While Gary Michael Capetta announces Dustin as the winner, everyone holds up Arn's arm. Hah!

STEVE AUSTIN vs. JIM DUGGAN (for the WCW United States Heavyweight Title)

No, this isn't THAT match… The one you're thinking of took place at Fall Brawl, this is the rematch. Austin wastes NO time in taking Jim Duggan apart at the seams before the bell. He absolutely murders him. Austin keeps hammering in AFTER the bell rings. He is vicious. Duggan gets whipped across the ring - and hits a clothesline on Austin. Another clothesline - and a scoop slam. Austin is whipped - Duggan tries a backdrop but Austin's on him and starts to attack. It doesn't last, as Duggan puts on a sleeper. Austin is whipped into the turnbuckle - and Duggan tries a belly to back that fails and Austin lands on his feet. Austin attacks the old man knee, kicking it and then kneedrops it a couple of times. Austin goes for a figure four - but he's kicked into the turnbuckle and rolled up. 1, 2, Austin kicks out. Austin rakes the eyes - sets up the leg on the bottom rope - and tries to drop down on it - only Duggan moves. Austin tries a clothesline - Duggan ducks away and hits an atomic drop. Austin heads out to the floor to stall, while Duggan yells about the USA in the ring. Austin rolls in and offers to shake Duggan's hand. The crowd is all over him screaming "NO!!!" and Austin's feelings look hurt. Duggan says "no way" but Austin's still offering the hand of friendship. Duggan attacks in the corner. They lockup - Duggan applies a headlock and screams about ho's. Austin whips him off - Duggan knocks him down with a shoulderblock - comes off the ropes again - but Austin stops him with a kick to the midsection. Austin heads to the second rope - double axehandle! Austin to the middle rope again - and hits another double axehandle. Austin goes up a third time - but Duggan was ready and clotheslines him down. Duggan yells at Austin and starts wildly swinging his fists around. Austin goes to the referee and holds him, appearing to cower. As Duggan approaches though - Austin still holds the ref and rears back with the lowblow! Austin gets yelled at by Nick Patrick, but he ignores him to attack Duggan. He chokes Duggan in the corner with the boot - but Nick Patrick pulls him down to the mat to stop him. Austin ignores that and goes back to the attack. Choke on the middle rope, cover, 1, Duggan kicks out. Austin goes to the second rope - double axehandle to Duggan's midsection on the mat. 1, 2, kickout. Austin heads all the way up this time…and misses the big splash. Duggan hulks up. Right, head to the turnbuckle, "get up you son of hoooooo", headbutt, whip, backdrop. Three point stance…and Austin backdrops him over the top. There's the stupid DQ. Fuck you Jim Duggan.

Time: 8:06
3/4*

Duggan grabs the two by four and chases Austin around the ring. Austin bails.

GUARDIAN ANGEL (with Members Of The Guardian Angels From All Over The United States) vs. VADER (with Harley Race)

Sting and Mohammad Ali sit at ringside. Vader gets in Ali's face asking "Who's The Man?" Meanwhile, in the ring, Bossman has taken to beating up on Harley Race. Vader looks annoyed about that - and makes sure Harley's okay. Vader flexes in front of Bossman and even turns his back. Lockup - and they go to the corner for the break. Bossman slaps Vader just to make his point. Into the corner again - and again Bossman slaps Vader. Heenan thinks he's lost his mind, and I'm tempted to agree. They go to the corner again, Vader sticks a thumb in Bossman's eye and Vader starts in with the body shots. Bossman is left lying in a heap in the corner. Vader nails him with a series of short arm clotheslines, hanging on to Bossman's arm so he won't fall over and he can hit more. Vader sends Bossman over the top rope - and of course there's no DQ because WCW couldn't enforce a rule from match to match if they tries. Harley distracts the ref while Vader heads to the outside for more punishment. However - Bossman is able to get a quick advantage and sends Vader into the guardrailing! Bossman rolls Harley back into the ring and attacks him again. Right hand, scoop slam, and Bossman hammers at him. Vader's back in - but Bossman kicks him low and slams Vader onto Harley. Elbowdrop. Bossman drops a leg across Vader's lower regions, and picks up Vader to headbutt him. Vader is whipped across the ring - Bossman follows with an avalanche. Another shot, Bossman blocks a vertical suplex - and suplexes Vader himself. Big boot, but Vader no sells. Vader comes out of the corner with a flurry of right punches that knock Bossman right down. Vader heads to the middle rope - tries a sunset flip - but Bossman catches him in midair and slams him. Bossman with a flying headbutt, 1, 2, Vader kicks out! Enzuigiri, Vader doesn't go down - so Bossman keeps coming with the shots and clotheslines him over the top. (No DQ is called again) Vader is pulled back in - and met with a headbutt. Vader clotheslines Bossman when coming off the ropes but appears to be in a lot of pain. Bossman, for whatever reason, isn't moving. Vader scoop slams Bossman - heads to the middle rope…Vaderbomb! 1, 2, Bossman kicks out. Well shit. Now what? Another Vaderbomb! Bossman gets his knees up though, and Vader is hurting. Big splash, 1, 2, Vader kicks out. Bossman with a spinebuster, 1, 2, another kickout! Bossman hits his Bossman Slam - tries a cover, but instead opts to chase Harley. He pulls Harley in with a suplex, and immediately off the suplex Vader splashes him, 1, 2, 3!

Time: 8:17
**1/4

Pretty decent power match, but the crowd wasn't into it at all which is too bad.

The announcers prep a special presentation in the ring, and Bobby says even if Flair vs. Hogan wasn't to happen, this was still the greatest PPV he's ever seen. Eep!

Bill Shaw, the president of WCW presents Mohammad Ali with a check for his foundation. Uncle Eric is also on hand to give Ali a plaque on behalf of Turner and WCW. Short and respectful - very well done.

Now the announcers make their predictions. Tony thinks Hogan's gonna win. Heenan goes on a huge rant as to why Flair will win this match. Apparently the Yankees haven't even won the World Series 11 times. Why he's right - at that point it was about 23 I think.

Mr. T makes his way down to the ring as the special referee, meaning it's main event time.

RIC FLAIR (with Sherri Martell) vs. HULK HOGAN (with Jimmy Hart and Brother Bruti) (in a Retirement Cage Match for the WCW World Heavyweight Title)

Heenan's slurring his words and is REALLY incoherent at this point. After lots of stalling, we finally start with Hogan booting Flair in the midsection, raking the eyes, and choking him in the corner. He's the face, remember. Hogan backs off - comes back, Flair tries to lowblow him, but I guess he missed. Hogan hammers with punches. Hogan tries to send Flair face first into the cage, but Flair blocks it and whips Hogan across the ring. It's reversed - and Flair gets backdropped. Clothesline, clothesline, and off comes the bandana. Hogan climbs the turnbuckle to punch. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, Hogan climbs ALL the way up and chokes Flair with his boot. Mr. T tells him off and they start to shove eachother. Flair pokes Hogan in the eyes and goes to the chopping. Flair tries to push Hogan's head to the cage, but Hogan blocks and sends Flair face first to the cage. Flair gets sent there again…and Flair flops. Jimmy Hart makes noise. Hogan mounts Flair (ew) and punches him. Flair lowblows Hogan - and since Flair has the advantage let's go take a loving look at Nick Bockwinkle. Back in, Flair clips the knee. Flair stomps at the knee, and Mr. T gets in Flair's face for wrestling the match apparently. A bunch of kidz chant for Hogan. Hogan is sent face first into the cage - and Flair snapmares him. Rolling kneedrop - and now Hogan's up, coughing like a 50 year old smoker who's on the verge of losing a lung. Flair whips Hogan - but it's reversed, and Hogan clotheslines Flair in the corner. Flair begs off. Hogan sends Flair face first into the mesh - picks Flair up - and runs him like a battering ram into the cage. Flair flops. Hogan takes off his shirt and chokes Flair, until Mr. T grabs it. Flair starts to climb out of the cage. However, Hogan stops to pick a fight with T - so Flair stops his climb (he can't win that way anyway) and double axehandles Hogan. Flair kicks at the knee and gives Hogan a vertical suplex. Cover, 1, 2, Hogan gets a shoulder up. Hogan sits up and Flair punches him in the side of the head, while Tony relays the plane crash story from 1975. But Flair's never faced Hulkamania which is "more powerful than anything" according to Schiavone. Flair sets Hogan up in the corner to chop him - but Hogan blocks it and they start trading punches, with Flair taking the worst of it. Flair gets knocked down - and then decides he's had enough and heads to the top. Hogan grabs Flair's legs and tries to keep him in. Hogan climbs up too and drives Flair headfirst into the top of the cage. A backrake is enough to cause Flair to lose his balance and fall crotch first on the top rope. Hogan pulls Flair to the corner and bites at Flair's forehead. Mr. T doesn't much like that and tells Hogan. Flair gets whipped across the ring to the corner - Hogan charges and eats boot. Heenan says "BS!" for the second time tonight, something I imagine Turner folks didn't much appreciate in 1994. Hogan rolls Flair up, 1, 2, and Flair gets away. Flair sets Hogan in the corner and chops him. Hogan starts huffing and puffing on the chops. Flair apologizes - but Hogan grabs his hand - he wants this dance! Whip to the corner - Flair comes out and gets backdropped. Flair is sent into the cage face first, and then he's grated against it. Belly to back suplex, cover, 1, 2, Flair kicks out. Hogan tries to choke Flair again, but again T pulls the shirt away. Flair meanwhile goes to escape for a third time. He's caught by the tights - and Hogan starts banging Flair's face against the cage. Flair stands on the top turnbuckle and Hogan chops him a bunch of times. Flair falls crotch first on the rope again and tumbles across the ring. Hogan comes over - but Flair catches him, grabs the knee, and hits a single leg atomic drop. Rolling kneedrop on Hogan's knee. Make that two! Hogan limps to his feet and decides "hey, my leg hurts, let's climb out!" He doesn't get so far though, and Flair drags him back out to the middle of the ring leg first. Flair rips off Hogan's kneepad. Mr. T pushes Flair away - but Flair goes right back on Hogan. He sets the knee up on the bottom rope and drops down. T and Flair have an argument. Flair kicks at Hogan's knee - pulls him down and puts on the Figure Four Leglock!!! The fans POP for that one! Dead centre of the ring, nowhere to go. But he reaches to the people and tries to turn it over. He does it. Flair quickly escapes and goes to kicking at the leg again. Hogan fires back - and in the confusion nails Mr. T. Flair with a belly to back suplex - and he goes to wake up Mr. T. Cover…he wouldn't have had a 1 count anyway. So Flair knocks Mr. T out before he wakes up. Sherri starts to climb the cage now. Jimmy Hart chases her and pulls her dress off - showing off her surprisingly nice ass! She shoves off Jimmy and starts climbing again. Sting arrives to make the save though - and pulls Sherri away. Now The Strange Masked Man is out from under the ring - and clobbers Sting in the back with the baseball bat! Jimmy Hart takes a beating as well! Sherri makes her way up again - as does the masked man. Sherri comes off the top while Hogan's choking Flair - and axehandles him! Hogan no sells and makes faces. So Flair clips him from behind. Flair and Sherri handcuff Mr. T to the middle rope. The Strange Masked Man holds the baseball bat out while Sherri and Flair throw Hogan into it! Hogan's out - we need a ref! Mr. T won't count the three, so Flair stomps him again. Flair and Sherri keep on the attack - with a vertical suplex for Hogan. Hogan's back up right away. Flair and Sherri double whip Hogan - but he clotheslines them both and slams them both. Flair chops Hogan - but Hogan knocks him down and clotheslines Sherri. Flair is sent to the corner and backdropped. Sherri goes to escape, but Hogan wants a handful of Sherri's ass and pulls her back in. Flair goes to escape - but Hogan follows him up and slams Flair's face into the bar on the top of the cage several times. Sherri is whipped and takes a Big Boot. Flair chops Hogan but he hulks up. Give me a break. Right, right, right, whip - Big Boot…Legdrop. Mr. T counts. 1, 2, 3.

Time: 19:20
***

Really hot crowd all the way though - but good lord could Flair have had ANY more interference on his part and still lose? (See Uncensored 1996…) Hogan celebrates and shakes Ali's hand. Heenan is in tears. "This is the greatest moment in the history of Hulkamania."

But wait - The Strange Masked Man is back! Hogan's hulking up…and The Masked Fellow winds up…only to get stopped. Hogan winds up - and nails him. Hogan pulls off the mask - and it's Brother Bruti. Bruti looks worried and tells Hogan "it's not what you think". Hogan looks ready to cry. Kevin Sullivan's on the other side of the ring - as is John Tenta. All three of them attack. Tenta powerslams Hogan and Bruti celebrates. Bobby: "That man is a butcher!" Cute.

Gene joins Tony and Bobby - and Sting rushes down to ringside. He takes out the Faces Of Fear and they all bail. Sting comforts Hogan and they share a tender moment.

Oh yeah, somewhere amongst all this confusion, Flair was forced into retirement. But who cares, right?

Total Matches: 7
Average Match Length: 10:39
Average Match Rating: 1.46 stars
Overall: **1/2

Meh, I've seen far worse Hogan love ins than this, but I'm fairly certain this was the start of SERIOUSLY screwing around with the retirement gimmick, because at least when it was broken before it wasn't done on such a large scale, OR forgotten 2 minutes after it happened.

There's nothing really worth seeing here, but it's not terrible either…