CRUNCH CLASSIC WRITTEN: June 1, 2001

My wisdom teeth are coming in. Christ, I thought this whole teeth growing experience ended about…oh 10 years ago or whenever it was I lost all of the small ones? Now I know how those babies feel - I've been chewing on ice cubes and freezies all day.

Battle Of The Superstars is available June 25th, 1992. If you need a reason to pick it up - here's Butch and Luke doing aerobics reminding us if it's not on the shelf of your local movie store ASK FOR IT!

NEW WWF figures! Unleash the mighty power of the Tornado, sheer power of The Barber, and the fire power of Sgt. Slaughter! It's Perfectly ridiculous. It has the power Hulkamania, quickness of Koko B. Ware, and the pounding forces of The Hammer. Figures sold separately.

MORE WWF figures! Check out the Savage power of the Macho Man, the fury of the Hitman, the fire of the Dragon, and the bite of the Bulldog. The Undertaker could bury those stiffs. Sgt. Slaughter's invading, plus The Bossman clubs! Each sold separately.

We're not done! Nasty Boys are Nasty, oooh what a rush, each sold separately.

Whew! That was fun.

It's Roddy Piper! He'll be hosting Crunch Classic today. His career's been nothing but Crunch Classics. There was the time he knocked out Mr. T, there was the time he knocked out Snuka with the coconut (he was pretty angry about that), there was the time he kicked Cyndi Lauper, all those matches, but no belt for Roddy…until he met the Mountie.

RODDY PIPER vs. THE MOUNTIE (with Jimmy Hart) (for the WWF Intercontinental Title)

This of course is from Royal Rumble 1992. Piper doesn't wait to attack, with his flurry of punches. Mountie tries to get out of the ring, but Roddy drags him back in kicking and clawing. A whip gives Mountie a chance to escape to the floor, but Piper's right behind him with a forearm shot to the head. Mountie hides behind Jimmy Hart - and when Piper tries to get near him Mountie uses the shield to block the attack and take over. Piper's rolled back into the ring with Mountie right behind him. Choke on the ropes. Whip - leapfrog - leapfrog - Mountie lies down in an attempt to elevate Piper, but Piper stops short and drops a fist straight to the cranium! Mountie gets rammed from turnbuckle to turnbuckle headfirst, and Piper sets a headlock. Running…bulldog! Jimmy Hart desperately needs Mountie to get to his feet while Piper covers. 1, 2, foot on the ropes. Piper drops his body down on the foot, then smacks Mountie around. Piper with his patented World's Greatest Eyepoke (nobody can top the Hot Rod in that regard), and puts on another headlock. He gets shoved off into the ropes, and Mountie hits a double axehandle. They trade punches - Piper sends Mountie into the ropes, tries a dropkick(!!!!!), but misses as Mountie holds on. Sorry, maybe I'm far too used to Piper's wrestling over the past 5 years, because I was completely caught off guard with him doing anything high flying. Mountie covers, 1, 2, Piper kicks out. Half nelson is applied, and Piper's rammed several times into the turnbuckle, while the fans chant Roddy! Mountie bites at the head then whips him, and nails a shoulderblock. Cover, 1, 2, kickout. Mountie sends Piper through the middle ropes and to the floor. Piper back to the apron - moves out of the way of Mountie's paw, headbutt to the midsection through the ropes, and here's a sunset flip! 1, 2, kickout. Piper gets nailed by Mountie and falls out of the ring, hanging on to the second rope. Piper pulls himself back in, lunges on Mountie and starts to bite him. Meanwhile, Bobby Heenan laughs at Bret Hart's whining about losing the title due to having a fever - claiming he once wrestled with a temperature of 113. Whip - Piper gets a shot to the jaw of Mountie. Another whip - backdrop. Whip - shot to the midsection. From behind, atomic drop, and Mountie falls over the top, holding on…and skins the cat. Piper's busy with Jimmy Hart - Mountie charges - Piper sidesteps, and Hart is knocked off the apron! Piper gets on the Sleeper! They're in the middle of the ring, nowhere for Mountie to go. Hart grabs the shock stick, but he can't do anything…and Mountie passes out. And that's good enough to get us a new WWF Intercontinental Champion.

Time: 5:19
***

Hart is furious, and charges Piper with the shock stick. Piper sidesteps, grabs the stick, and tosses Hart out to the floor. Fans are going nuts, and Piper positions the stick over Mountie. There's the BEEP, and Mountie convulses.

It was the biggest day of his life, except for maybe today because he gets to host a Coliseum video. Our next match is going to feature a guy who's been around Piper his whole life. We're talking about Virgil. They had skim milk together, ate baloney sandwiches together, trained together, and now we're going to watch him face two of the biggest jerks in the world.

MONEY INC. (with Sherri Martell) vs. THE BIG BOSSMAN and VIRGIL

IRS wants to say something before the match. "I can see why you people support the Bossman and Virgil, because they're nothing more than tax cheats just like the rest of you people." Whoa, now that's a little harsh…

IRS and Bossman start. Kick to the knee from IRS, and Bossman is sent headfirst into the turnbuckle twice. Bossman blocks the third attempt with his foot, and sends IRS in. Whip is reversed, Bossman slips out to the floor, and IRS hits the corner. Back in, Bossman misses a clothesline, but gets a boot to IRS' face on the other end. Right hand, and IRS has had enough. In comes DiBiase. Virgil gets the tag on the other side. Virgil over anxiously goes to lockup, and winds up getting a knee to the midsection. He's sent into the corner, and DiBiase works over his midsection. Whip - Virgil tries a sunset flip, but it only gets a one. An atomic drop sends DiBiase over the top to the floor. Sherri tries to comfort him - but Bossman uppercuts him, and Virgil attacks. Face first to the apron he goes, and he's rolled in. Whip - Virgil charges but meets DiBiase's boot right to the face. Tag to IRS. Whip - flying shoulderblock and Virgil's down. IRS drops 3 elbows, and antagonizes Bossman to give Money Inc. a chance to work over Virgil in a double team. IRS holds him hostage, DiBiase gets some kidney shots, and IRS heads out. Referee didn't hear a tag, but they assure him there was one so it's all good. DiBiase stomps on the throat of Virgil. Vertical suplex is good, into a cover, 1, 2, Virgil gets a shoulder up. DiBiase drops an elbow, and again goes over to harass Bossman. DiBiase holds Virgil in place - IRS comes off the top with a punch to the midsection, he drops a leg, 1, 2, Virgil kicks out. Virgil is thrown face first towards DiBiase - who gets a boot up. DiBiase comes in. Whip - Virgil catches him in a backdrop position, and hits the neckbreaker. Virgil tries to make a tag to Bossman (who's NOT holding his tag rope, the cheater), but IRS is in to cut off the ring. Elbowdrop, whip - IRS charges and meets the turnbuckle chest first. He's winded, but stays on Virgil. A vertical suplex is blocked twice, and Virgil hits one of his own. Sherri and DiBiase desperately want IRS to make a tag before Virgil does, and I see Sherri's underpants. Virgil gets the tag before IRS, and uppercuts him. Shoulderblock, splash, pickup, tag out to Virgil - Virgil to the top, and he hits the big flying punch to the head. DiBiase comes in, Bossman knocks him out of the ring, and they fight outside. The referee watches them while Sherri takes off her shoe. She goes to deck Virgil…and misses, nailing IRS! Virgil with a schoolboy, 1, 2, 3!

Time: 7:01
**1/4

IRS gets in Sherri's face and loses his mind. DiBiase tries to keep the peace, but IRS won't have it, so finally DiBiase tries to shove some sense into him. It fails, as IRS shoves back harder. Another couple of shoves come out of it, and DiBiase's ready to deck IRS. Bossman yells about there being no honor among thieves. Sherri begs for forgiveness, and DiBiase offers a sum of money to IRS. They reunite, hugs all around. Now that's sweet.

Roddy Piper hates managers. He says they all eat out of a bowl that reads "Fido", snarl while they eat, because they're no good. Jimmy Hart never appears to do anything, so Coliseum video decided to follow him around for 24 hours.

Jimmy Hart arrives at a hotel, and is not happy. He didn't get a limousine at the airport, and had to call a cab. He's headed into the hotel to check in himself and all his boys.

Inside he gives a high five to the guy at the desk. DiBiase's checked in, The Mountie's here, and so are the Nasty Boys. Jimmy Hart wants his regular room, but it won't be ready for three hours. The clerk tells him a room IS available, Jimmy takes it because he needs anything.

The Mountie stands with Hart, and he's been desperate for his stock stick. Jimmy apologizes saying it's been a hectic day. DiBiase's bags are missing, and IRS's plane is late. Jimmy promises him the IC Title - just go work out for now. Jimmy gets a kiss from The Mountie, and he heads off.

Jimmy's on the phone now, and here's Money Inc. He has the tag-team belts for them with their names on the belts. Coliseum video wants to do a story of their lives.

He's finally got his room, and it fast asleep. The phone rings, and Jimmy answers a banana. He finally gets the phone. The Million Dollar Man's belt isn't ready, the shock stick isn't back, and the Nasty Boys did something awful. Jimmy promises to get right on it.

In the bathroom, the Nasty boys are warming up. Jimmy needs them in the ring NOW, because the bell just rang. They don't want to go to the ring, they're warming up. Jimmy rushes off to stall.

The day is done, and Jimmy's off to bed. No more Coliseum video following him around, it's time to sleep…only the door won't unlock.

Piper laughs at the whole thing. "Maybe if you'd paid your bill Jimmy, the door wouldn't be locked on ya huh?" Piper sends us off to watch some of Jimmy Hart's boys.

THE NASTY BOYS (with Jimmy Hart) vs. THE NEW FOUNDATION

Neidhart and Knobbs start. Lockup, and a break. Knobbs: "You think you're tough?" He rips the shirt of Neidhart, and hammers in some punches in the corner. Neidhart turns it around, and attack. Whip - Knobbs bounces out of the corner, and takes a shoulderblock. Sags tries to do something about it - but gets shoved off, then Neidhart runs over Knobbs with a clothesline. Both Nasty Boys head to the floor, and Owen jumps into the ring. Whip is reversed - and Owen hits a tope suicide! Owen heads to the top rope, and moonsaults into the ring on his feet. Knobbs gets in, and Owen swings him around by the arm. Knobbs stands and gets in a shot, and tags out to Sags. A whip is reversed by Owen, but Sags hits a shoulderblock. Sags off the ropes - and charges right into a hiptoss. Another hiptoss, and Owen hangs on to work the arm. Owen drops a couple knees on the arm, then somehow the camera misses whatever Sags does to reverse things, and hits a scoop slam. Off the ropes - elbowdrop misses. Owen tags on Neidhart. He drags the arm a bit, then puts a hammerlock on Sags over the rope so he has nowhere to run - though very illegal. Neidhart bites the shoulder of Sags. Tag out to Owen. Neidhart holds Sags hostage, and Owen leaps off the rope right onto the exposed arm of Sags. Sags grabs Owen by the hair and backs Owen into the ropes. On the ropes he slaps Owen. Needless to say, he doesn't appreciate that much and they chase eachother around the ring. Sags tags out to Knobbs, and slides out to the floor. Owen catches him by the hair - but from behind Knobbs comes off the top and drops down across the back. Neidhart charges across the ring and attacks - but the referee drags him out. Owen gets choked in the ropes by Sags, while Knobbs attacks the open back. Whip is reversed, and Owen hits the corner hard. Tag out to Sags. Snapmare, kneedrop, elbowdrop. Sags puts on a rear chinlock, with his knee coming hard into the back. Owen somehow gets to his feet - comes off the ropes, sunset flip…and Sags drops down by the knees. Tag out to Knobbs. Elbowdrop, elbowdrop, elbowdrop, cover, 1, 2, Owen kicks out. In the corner, Owen kicks at the midsection of Knobbs, but Knobbs gets him grounded and applies a camel clutch. Knobbs drops down on the back of Owen, then puts the move back on. Owen fights to his feet, but Knobbs headbutts him in the back. Tag out to Sags - they double whip him into the ropes, Owen makes a blind tag, ducks a double clothesline, comes towards the other side, and launches Anvil into the ring, where he hits both Nastys with a flying double shoulderblock. Knobbs is whipped, shoulderblock, 1, 2, and Sags tosses the ref away. That's good for a DQ.

Time: 7:28
*1/2

Knobbs FREAKS out at the decision. Owen and Neidhart want more, but Jimmy directs his boys back towards the locker room.

Roddy Piper remembers Wrestlemania III, where he was in front of 93,000 people and fought Adrian Adonis. For the first time in his life, people weren't booing him, they were cheering him. Check it out.

ADRIAN ADONIS (with Jimmy Hart) vs. RODDY PIPER (in a Haircut Match)

This is Roddy Piper's retirement match…in 1987. Lockup, and both guys trade punches. Roddy takes off his belt, and starts whipping Adrian - then chokes out Jimmy Hart on the apron to a MONSTER pop. Hart gets the belt, and tosses it to Adonis. Adonis whips Piper, over and over. Piper gets his hands on Adonis, and whips him into the corner, where he Flair flips to the floor. Roddy gets into a tug of war with Hart for Adonis, and he wins dragging Hart into the ring with him. With both guys in his hands, we have a noggin' knocker. Piper grabs Hart, and tosses him towards Adonis, where both guys fly out to the floor. Piper hammers Adonis in the corner, and whips him. Hart goes to the top rope, but Piper grabs him and throws him at Adonis, drawing another major pop. Adonis whips Piper into the ropes - right where Hart is, and he decks Piper in the back with something. Adonis comes over and attacks. Front rake, whip - and a clothesline to take down Piper. Uppercut to Piper, and he's staggering. Adonis gets too close, and Piper pokes him in the eyes - but Adonis comes right back with a bionic elbow. On the floor, Roddy is rammed into the announce table face first, then Jimmy Hart hits him. Piper gets a psychotic look on his face and gets into the right. Adonis continues to hammer with his lefts, but Piper dares Adonis to keep coming. Hart gets on the apron, and sprays Piper in the eyes with Adonis' spray. Adonis puts on a sleeper, and things look bad for Roddy. Adonis holds on, on the mat, and Hart dances around with scissors. Piper's checked once…twice…and on the third time he's still alive, but Hart and Adonis celebrate anyway. Brutus Beefcake runs in to wake up Roddy - Roddy attacks Adonis, and he falls into the clippers. Roddy puts on a Sleeper, and Adonis is falling…and he's out!

Time: 6:10
**

Beefcake gets into the ring and hands the clippers to Piper. Beefcake goes to work with the electric razor, but with Adonis' hair so wet it's useless. Piper holds off Jimmy Hart from attacking. Piper throws some hair to the crowd, while Beefcake goes to work with the scissors. Adonis finally wakes up…and Roddy holds a mirror in front of Adonis. Adonis flips, punches the mirror, and chases Roddy all over the ring, missing every time.

Piper says he let Brutus do it, because he didn't want to touch Adonis' head. Piper says fans are allowed to send in requests for any matches, and thanks his grandmother for requesting one of his matches once. Today he has a postcard from JB Franklin II and he wants to see the British Bulldog against The Undertaker.

THE UNDERTAKER (with Paul Bearer) vs. THE BRITISH BULLDOG

Taker gets in the opening shots, and takes Bulldog right into the corner. He chokes Bulldog, and the referee tries to break them up. Undertaker lets go, and Bearer promises it's all over. Whip - Taker charges but Bulldog sidesteps, and he hammers with some forearms - clotheslines Taker, but he lands on his feet over the top rope. Taker methodically pulls Bulldog to the floor, and tries to throw him into the steps. Bulldog manages to block and send Taker into steps, and gets in the ring. Bulldog pulls Taker to the apron, but Taker grabs Bulldog by the neck, and hits the Ace Crusher. In the ring, Taker with a ring, and Bulldog falls. Taker chokes Bulldog in the ropes, and glares a whole lot at the camera. Bulldog gets thrown through the middle rope, and to the floor, and Undertaker follows right behind him. Bulldog is sent right into the steps, chest first. Roll back into the ring. Taker off the ropes - elbowdrop misses. Bulldog gets up, tries to slam Taker, but Taker falls on top, 1, 2, Bulldog kicks out. Whip - Undertaker with the flying shoulderblock. Taker chokes Bulldog, lets go, and starts it up again. Paul Bearer makes noise about the power of the urn. Taker holds a clawhold on the face. The referee checks the arm once…twice…and it stays up the third time. Bulldog comes back with headbutts - and tries for a slam. It fails, Taker on top, 1, 2, Bulldog kicks out. Whip - Bulldog kicks him and tries some body shots. Headbutts - and Bulldog goes for a vertical suplex…and hits it! Taker does the zombit situp. Whip - Bulldog gets Taker on his shoulders - Running Powerslam. Paul Bearer tries to get in, and the referee gets rid of him. Taker grabs the urn, and slams Bulldog over the back of the head. 1, 2, 3.

Time: 7:07
*3/4

Paul Bearer hands a body bag to Undertaker - but before he can do anything, Bulldog clotheslines Taker to the floor. Paul takes him back to the locker room.

If you have a match YOU want to see, write to:

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C/O Coliseum Video
430 West 54th Street
New York, NY 10019

RICK MARTEL vs. KERRY VON ERICH

Von Erich tries to lockup, but Martel's being really cautious for some reason and keeps scooting away. Martel begs the referee to check out something, which he does, and Martel tries a sneak attack. It fails as Von Erich catches the foot - spins him around and tries the Tornado Punch - but Martel ducks away. Martel celebrates this achievement with jumping jacks. Lockup, Martel with a knee to the midsection, make it two, backs Von Erich up to the corner - whip is reversed - Martel tries a leapfrog in the corner but he's not fast enough and Von Erich catches him with a waistlock. He spins Martel around to face him and nails a punch. Lockup, Martel is shoved back to the corner - and reverses but the referee wants a break. Martel gets in a cheap shot while the ref tries this. Out of the corner, Von Erich blocks an attempt to have his head rammed into the turnbuckle - and sends Martel in there instead. Right, whip is reversed - telegraphs the backdrop - Von Erich tries a Tornado Punch, Martel ducks, and celebrates. Martel turns around and meets a clothesline head on - sending him to the floor. Von Erich follows, grabs Martel's arm and pulls it around the steel post. The referee really doesn't think much of that and tells him so. Martel gets back on the apron, Von Erich grabs him, and sends him face first to the post in the corner, and Martel is down on the floor once again. Martel gets back in and begs off. Von Erich isn't feeling any mercy though and hammers away. In the corner, right, right, right, armdrag - and Von Erich pulls at the arm. Martel tries to get away by sending Von Erich in the corner but winds up hiptossed. Von Erich puts on an armbar and tells him to give it up. Whip across the ring - Von Erich dives at Martel, but Martel sidesteps and Von Erich's momentum drives him straight into the ring post! Martel sees an opening and punches the shoulder. Von Erich is down - Martel to the second rope - double axehandle blow! Stomp, Martel cleans his hands - again to the second rope, but Von Erich is waiting and catches Martel with a claw hold. Martel tries to get away by going to the apron, but Von Erich pulls him right back in with the hold still on firmly. Martel grabs the ropes and Von Erich is ordered to break - to which he responds firmly "no!". That lasts all of four seconds before he does comply. Von Erich is right back on Martel with rights in the corner - and Martel's had enough. He reaches over for his Arrogance and sprays Von Erich in the eyes causing a disqualification.

Time: 5:59
**1/4

Roddy says he was plenty tough as a kid, but when it came to snakes he could scream higher than Little Richard. There's only one man that considers a snake man's best friend. Yuck - Jake The Snake Roberts.

SNAKES MAKE FUN PETS

I wish I could try to transcribe Jake here for ya, but he whispers so much I can't make half of it out. He says snakes love puppies and snakes, but not as friends. Snakes get so hungry they will eat each other. Snakes have been around from the beginning of time - even in the Adam and Eve story. However, they're not around today because of Jack Tunney. He should be ashamed of himself barring a snake. Snakes are great because you don't have to walk them, and you don't have to feed them everyday.

Here's a look at the show where Savage takes a real snake bite to the arm. Now THAT is a team player!

Jake wonders if that image was too strong for Coliseum Video. The nice things about snakes are there are so many different kinds and sizes. So here's a look at the different kinds. (He doesn't actually name them all - so I'm not gonna bother)

Jake promises the snakes will be back. The things that go bump in the night is just your favorite snake - so keep your eyes out for him and he'll strike again.

SKINNER vs. JIM NEIDHART

Skinner leaves his can of chewing tobacco spit, hat, and an alligator claw at ringside. Now I have a question - HOW does one wrestle with a mouthful of tobacco? Skinner for some reason bolts towards the back - Neidhart follows but can't find him so he just heads back towards the ring. Skinner comes back with another spittoon. Lockup lasts a second and Neidhart swings but misses. Skinner goes to the apron to yell at the fans and gets back in. Lockup, Skinner gets a headlock on Neidhart - and he's shoved off into the ropes and can't knock Neidhart down with a shoulderblock. Off the ropes again - Neidhart tries to catch him with a hiptoss but it's reversed and Skinner hits one instead. Over to the corner - Skinner spits some tobacco. Ugh. Lockup - headlock is put on by Neidhart. Skinner runs him off into the ropes - and hiptosses Neidhart. Over to the corner, spit, and Skinner tells off a fan at ringside. Lockup - Skinner puts on the headlock and Neidhart shoves him away. Skinner does a little dance - and he turns to meet Neidhart's fist right in the midsection. Forearm across the back, and Skinner has to roll out because he's swallowed his tobacco. Lord Alfred finds it to be the funniest thing he's ever seen. Back in - Neidhart ducks a clothesline and hits the atomic drop. Skinner rolls out to the floor - Neidhart grabs the can of spit, spits in it, and threatens to throw it at him. The referee asks for it, Neidhart hands it over and it's given back to Skinner. Skinner can't believe someone else spit in his cup and throws a fit. Skinner's had enough and starts to head back towards the locker room - has second thoughts and comes back. Skinner gets in to the ring and stalls even more. Lockup - Neidhart with the headlock - Skinner tries to get out but can't. Neidhart is shoved into the ropes, but he hangs on to the beard and Skinner screams in pain. The referee misses it - and Neidhart puts the headlock back on. Skinner gets in a shot - but still can't get out of the hold. Off the ropes - Neidhart again grabs the beard, and the referee catches him this time. He's given a 5 count to break - and finally the ref chops at the hands of Neidhart causing a break and Skinner to yelp in pain from the release. Skinner heads to the floor - Neidhart follows - Skinner in - Neidhart in - Skinner out. Skinner picks up his alligator claw and jams it into the throat of Neidhart at an angle where the referee couldn't see it. Skinner points to his head and poses for the fans. Skinner puts on a rear chinlock and chokes Neidhart while the ref isn't looking. Headbutt - double axehandle - thumb to the throat - forearm to the back - choke in the ropes. Neidhart is kicked to the floor and Skinner poses. Neidhart gets back to the apron and Skinner chokes him in the ropes. Neidhart falls to the edge of the apron, and Skinner chokes him there. Now he bites the forehead. Please, just call for a DQ and end this! Double axehandle to the back, and here's another rear chinlock. Neidhart fights out of the hold as best he can, but Skinner kicks at the small of the back so Neidhart can't go anywhere. Finally he gets to his feet and elbows away. Off the ropes - shoulderblock and Skinner is down. Head to the turnbuckle, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, and Neidhart bites Skinner's head. Another bite. Uppercut, uppercut, Neidhart tosses him out and decides to fight there. Punches and forearm shots are traded. The bell rings, and apparently it's a time limit draw.

Time: 13:16
DUD

I wasn't aware that they had thirteen minute and sixteen second time limits. Either way, it's over and I can enjoy life once again.

Piper wants grandma to close her eyes for the next match, because it involves real ugly guys. This is also apparently the Tag-Team Match Of The Month.

THE NATURAL DISASTERS (with Jimmy Hart) vs. THE PATRIOTIC PAIR

The Patriotic Pair are Jim Duggan and Sergeant Slaughter. Duggan shoots his two by four like a gun at each of the Disasters. Duggan and Typhoon start this one off. Lockup - Duggan is shoved away. Lockup - and again Typhoon just shoves him off. Slaughter slaps Duggan and tells him to go get 'em. Hooooooo - lockup - Duggan's shoved off right away and comes right back at him with a clothesline that doesn't seem to do a whole lot. Another clothesline - Typhoon is wobbly. Here comes a third clothesline and that does it. Earthquake gets into the ring, and Slaughter's over on the other side to even it up. Duggan tags out to Slaughter to face Typhoon. Lockup - Slaughter forces Typhoon back to the corner, gets in some forearm shots and goes for a whip. That's reversed - Slaughter hits the corner, but sidesteps and Typhoon meets the turnbuckle belly first. Armdrag, tag out to Duggan and he gets in a couple shots. Whip by Typhoon - Duggan's shoulderblock is useless. He tries another one - but Earthquake grabs him by the hair and Typhoon attacks. Choke on the ropes by Typhoon and Earthquake hammers at the back. Duggan is scooped up on the shoulders of Earthquake and thrown into the corner. A forearm shot sends him crashing to the mat - and Earthquake cuts off the ring before a tag can be made. Another pick up and Duggan's again thrown into the corner. Earthquake traps Duggan in the corner and rams his ass into Duggan several times. The third time misses - Duggan escapes and tries a slam, but falls right back on the mat. Earthquake didn't even budge. Stomp - elbowdrop to the back, cover, 1, 2, Slaughter kicks Earthquake to stop it. Typhoon is tagged in and chokes Duggan on the top rope. Off the ropes - double knee to the back of Duggan on the ropes. Typhoon picks Duggan up and puts him in a bearhug. Duggan tries clapping behind the head of Typhoon but it doesn't work. Duggan gets driven back into the corner and Typhoon tags out. Earthquake hits a backbreaker, covers, 1, 2, Duggan kicks out. Stomp, stomp, stomp - Duggan gets to his feet and tries to hammer away. Duggan tries to power his way to the Sarge, but can't quite make it and Earthquake runs him back to the heel corner. Typhoon is in and drives his knee into Duggan. Whip - Typhoon catches Duggan with another bearhug. Earthquake is tagged back in. Whip - Duggan hits the corner - Earthquake charges but Duggan's sidestepped and nobody's home. Typhoon is tagged in - Duggan dives towards Slaughter and makes the tag! Slaughter hits a series of rights - heads over to Earthquake to try to knock him off the apron, but he ducks the punch and holds Slaughter hostage. Typhoon charges - Slaughter escapes, and Earthquake hits the floor. Slaughter clotheslines Typhoon to the mat. Whip - Slaughter puts on a sleeper - and Earthquake breaks it up. Duggan rushes over to get rid of Earthquake but the referee orders him out. Meanwhile the Disasters double team Slaughter. They whip him into the corner - and Earthquake whips Typhoon on to Slaughter. Earthquake runs next - and leaps on Typhoon who's already crushing Slaughter for the double smash. Duggan gets in and tries to take both men on - but winds up thrown out to the floor. Jimmy Hart tosses in his megaphone then distracts the referee. Duggan grabs his two by four and comes to the rescue nailing Earthquake with it - but the referee sees it. Another disqualification.

Time: 9:25
1/2*

The fans aren't happy with that decision - and Duggan and Slaughter count it as a win and celebrate. Slaughter waves the flag around patriotically and Duggan throws his two by four in the air.

Piper would love to stay longer, but if he did the tape would run out. He thanks Coliseum Video for having him as a host, and wraps things up.

Total Matches: 8
Average Match Length: 7:43
Average Match Rating: 1.66 stars
Overall: *1/4

This tape isn't worth your time. The only really good match can be found on Royal Rumble 1992, which is a MUCH superior show anyway.

We'll finish off this foursome of Coliseum Videos with Hottest Matches next.