Attitude – Entertainment – WW

LAST MONDAY: Mr. McMahon coined the phrase “Ruthless Aggression” and stuff happened. Eddie Guerrero took on Bubba Ray Dudley, and wound up going through a table.

EARLIER TODAY: Eddie Guerrero arrived to the building and bumped into Spike Dudley. Eddie wondered what Spike was up to – considering his brother jumped him from behind last week. Spike swears he was only going to the locker room, but Eddie’s smarter than that. He knows Spike has it in for him. He’s just Dudley trash, and not pure like a Guerrero! If he even considered jumping him from behind, then maybe he can do it in the ring…TONIGHT!

Opening credits.

That pyro looks pretty ruthlessly aggressive… The announcers are not. The Coach and D’Lo Brown once again make up the Heat duo.

EDDIE GUERRERO vs. SPIKE DUDLEY

Because we are completely incapable of figuring stuff out by ourselves, Coach mentions Eddie’s paranoid. D’Lo rubs it in. Coach rubs harder. And so on. D’Lo’s ready to be ruthlessly aggressive. Good for him. Eddie swats away a dropkick from Spike, because he rules and Spike does not. D’Lo thinks Eddie’s thinking about Bubba Ray right now. Well that’s not very smart, he’s facing Spike. Belly to back suplex gets a 2. “Eddie sucks!” Milk it! Spike hits the torpedo, but a rake of the eyes turns the tide right back to Eddie. Eddie tries a brainbuster, but Spike reverses to a neckbreaker – and into a cover for 2. The Dudley Dawg is turned into a backbreaker in one sweet motion, followed by a powerbomb and Froggy Splash for the win.

Time: 3:42

TONIGHT: Matt Hardy takes on Raven in the night’s main event. Don’tchadaremissit!

If you ordered King Of The Ring online (sucker!), the WWE thanks you (for being a sucker!).

SEAN O’HAIRE vs. JUSTIN CREDIBLE

Alright, O’Haire’s back!!! And he looks like a caveman. Credible rakes the eyes to start…and slowly moves around the ring. Figuring he’s not moving slow enough, he slides out to the floor and points to his head like he’s a genius. Back in, O’Haire military presses Credible – heads to the top and hits a super necksnap. Credible comes back with a superkick that sends O’Haire to the floor. Back in, he gets 2. Credible runs through the heel tactics, including choke in the ropes, and choke with a boot. This just in: later tonight we’ll see the debut of a new wrestler named Johnny The Bull. I think I’ve heard of him. But that’s not possible since he’s a new wrestler. O’Haire comes back with a superkick followed by a (D’Lo: “What The Heck Was That?” Coach: “What Impact!”) fireman’s carry into a side suplex to win.

Time: 3:29

Terri’s with Johnny The Bull backstage. He looks like the kind of guy who likes cheese sandwiches. Apparently he’ll be facing Tommy Dreamer. (So John Cena gets Kurt Angle and Johnny gets Dreamer? WCW is buried again!) Johnny cuts a really cool promo establishing that Tommy may be extreme, but he’s no match for The Bull! He also makes Terri uncomfortable, so look for him to be paired up with Booker T as punishment on RAW.

A video package shows the history between The Undertaker and Jeff Hardy (which has lasted about 3 weeks… Ignoring footage from 6 months ago at the Royal Rumble of course because heaven forbid there be a backstory.) Tomorrow night on RAW, The Undertaker faces Jeff Hardy in a ladder match for the title. Will Jeff Hardy win the belt? To be honest, I’m not sure….they’ve actually got me really interested.

JOHNNY STAMBOLI vs. TOMMY DREAMER

Coach: “The cockiness is exuding off of him.” Another example of why Mike Tenay rules, and WWE pretty boys don’t. They really blew it not picking him up. Tommy Dreamer wears his shirt backwards, because he’s so wacky. Jackie gets ref duty. Coach and D’Lo aren’t happy about some new guy coming into the locker room and hitting on Terri on his first day. And that’s a shoot! Tommy grabs someone’s Mountain Dew from the crowd and spits it in Johnny’s eyes. Back in, he hits a Russian legsweep and spits out the rest. Coach: “You’ve gotta believe Stamboli would love to get a win in his first match in the WWE.” Well I’d hope so! Johnny tries to springboard from the top – but Dreamer catches him and both guys fall down. Dreamer hits the spinebuster for 2. A DDT gets 2. Stamboli shows some ruthless aggression and lowblows Tommy for a stupid DQ.

Time: 4:07

After the match, Stamboli does evil things to Tommy, so Jackie clotheslines him to the floor to chase him away.

On RAW, Brock Lesnar lost his match to Rob Van Dam by disqualification, but put Rob through a table after the fact.

RAVEN vs. MATT HARDY

Raven, who JUST lost a loser leaves RAW match is stuck on Sunday Night Heat forever. Wow, this show feels special. Matt tries an early Side Effect, but it’s blocked – and Matt takes a drop toe hold through the middle rope to the floor. Raven does his super Rocker Dropper thing for 2. Running kneelift hits, and Raven gets a 2 from that. A piledriver doesn’t work – and Matt turns it around into a Russian legsweep. Back elbow/fistdrop combo gets a 2. He ducks a clothesline to hit a neckbreaker – and the Extreme Legdrop for 2. Twist Of Fate is shoved off, and Matt ducks a Raven Effect, and Matt hits his Side Effect! Matt follows it up with a charge to the corner, but Raven sidesteps and Matt meets the post shoulder first. Matt comes back with a moonsault that misses, and Raven pins him with his feet on the ropes.

Time: 4:24

That’s a bit of an upset. Raven celebrates his win and Matt makes faces. And with that, we’re out.