Hi! Not only have I never recapped Sunday Night Heat before - I've never watched it on weeks that aren't pay-per-view weeks. This is all new for both you and I.

There's that woman destroying hedges, and polluting the air. Get the F out!

Opening credits.

This is a WHOLE NEW ERA in Sportz Entertainment. I swear I've heard some other company talk about whole new eras, and generally THEY sucked too. Our hosts are Coach and Raven. Wheee!

EDDIE GUERRERO vs. TOMMY DREAMER (for the WWE Intercontinental Title)

You know, I knew there was something this show had that RAW didn't… Tommy Dreamer. I watch RAW, I don't watch Heat - draw your own conclusions. Eddie attacks right away, and runs over Tommy with a clothesline. Stomping begins in the corner. Pick up - belly to back suplex. Stomp, pick up, European uppercut. Eddie snapmare's Eddie, and cups the ear to lots of boos! Eddie rules. Fistdrop to the forhead. "Tommy Dreamer's certainly not the athlete Eddie Guerrero is." Ya think Coach? Eddie works over Dreamer in the corner with punches. Scoop and a slam, and Eddie pounds his chest. To the apron - Eddie with a slingshot senton that misses - Tommy gets to his feet, and hits a short powerbomb. It barely phases Eddie though, who's to his feet and immediately trading punches with Dreamer. Dreamer blocks one of the punches, hits two of his own - whips Eddie - and hits a backdrop. Eddie back up, nailed with a Russian legsweep. Whip - Eddie hits the corner, but gets an elbow up to stop the charging Dreamer. Hey, you think in honor of my first night on the job there'll be a title change? (Let's hope not.) I'm with you bracket man! Eddie charges…right into a powerslam. 1, 2, he kicks out. Whip is reversed by Eddie - he leaps and winds right up on the shoulders of Dreamer. GET DOWN! Whew, he escapes the DREADED Spicolli Driver, slides down the back for a sunset flip, but Dreamer sits down. Ahhhh! 1, 2, NO! Boot to the midsection, DDT, 1, 2, Eddie kicks out. Tommy Dreamer heads up to the top rope? Misses the splash - Eddie boots him in the midsection and hits a brainbuster! To the top, Frog Splash, goodnight! 1, 2, 3.

Time: 3:17

Hey, I already like this show. Now, if they avoid the recaps and just do jobber squashes I'm a happy camper.

Alright, let's go back to RAW. Big Show cuts a promo more or less stating he was in the main event of Wrestlemania 2 years ago, and this year he was in a restaurant with a bunch of kids. He's tired of being held down, and now the world has a real giant to deal with. The n.W.o. promises a big surprise for later on.

Meanwhile, Flair was NOT happy about the idea of a surprise, and found some evidence pointing to Bradshaw being in cahoots with the n.W.o. THEN Kevin Nash arrived. Moments later, Ric Flair turned on Steve Austin and announced The Big Show and himself will face Steve Austin at Judgement Day.

See? I CAN wrap things up in a paragraph or two. I just normally choose not to.

Recently, Lita had surgery. Matt Hardy took her to the hospital, because she hit her head when trying a rana on the set of Dark Angel. It ruptured a disc that broke the bone, and she's got an unstable neck. They put a titanium plate into her neck, and as soon as it's all solid she can get back in the ring. Lita says it'll be a long road and it's something she's nervous about.

Coach reports everything went well, and Matt Hardy's been with her all week. But he couldn't stay away from the ring for long, so…

MATT HARDY vs. MR. PERFECT

From WWE.com - Curt Hennig, who portrayed the character of Mr. Perfect in WWE, has been released from his contract. WWE wishes him the best in the future. Consider this his farewell match.

Lockup, and a break. Lockup, Hennig goes for a hammerlock, and they reverse it a number of times without getting it locked on, before finally Hennig gingerly tosses Hardy to the outside. Hardy tries to get in, but Hennig drops down in front of him, so Hardy punches him in the nose. Hennig follows him out to the floor, Hardy gets in, Hennig gets in, and Hardy climbs on his back and slaps him on the head a bunch of time. Hardy back out to the floor, calling over Hennig - Hennig out, jaws with a fan, and Hardy smacks him in the back of the head. Hennig is far from happy about that, and gets into the ring. Hardy shows off - so Hennig comes over, grabs Hardy by the hair, and throws him back into the ring. Headlock is shoved off into the ropes - and Hennig hits a dropkick. Boot to the midsection, another, pickup, and here come the chops. Whip - Hennig charges the corner, but Hardy gets a boot up. Matt comes forward and hits the Side Effect. Scoop slam, Matt to the middle rope, HOOOOO, legdrop. Boot to the midsection, HOOOO, Twist Of Fate. 1, 2, 3.

Time: 2:15

Thanks for the memories Curt!

Here's a video package from RAW. Hulk Hogan steals Undertaker's bike, and calls him out. Undertaker tells him not to touch another man's motorcycle - and if he doesn't give it back he's gonna kick his teeth…and can't finish because Hogan cuts him off. Hogan apparently DOESN'T stall the bike in this version (fancy editing!) and chases Taker backstage. He winds up right in front of a big truck that happened to have the keys in the ignition - and runs over Taker's motorcycle. Taker later throws a fit.

A reminder, Undertaker faces Hulk Hogan at Judgement Day for the WWE World Heavyweight Title.

On RAW, D'Lo Brown stopped William Regal from breaking Spike Dudley's ankle. We'll probably find out more tomorrow night about that.

Back to RAW again. Steven Richards aids Jazz retain the WWE Women's Title over Trish. Bubba Ray Dudley ran in, and won the belt with a Bubba Bomb. The chaos wasn't finished though, as Raven was in with a Raven Effect for Bubba, and he wins the belt. Justin Credible Superkicked Raven to claim the belt. Crash Holly entered the fray with a missile dropkick and a win. With Bubba's garbage can shot, Trish climbed onto Crash to claim the belt. Then as Bubba was blinded, he puts Trish through a table and Steven steals the victory and runs away, still the champ. Got all that? I actually long for the days of Steve Blackman holding the belt.

ROB VAN DAM vs. GOLDUST

If there's any justice on this planet, Goldust goes over clean. We'll see. The two dance about a bit - and finally they lockup. Goldust shoves off a headlock and RVD's into the ropes. He ducks a clothesline, and dropkicks Goldust in the face. Goldust heads to the floor - so RVD slingshots himself to the apron - goes for a standing moonsault, Goldust moves, and he lands on his feet. He ducks another clothesline, and takes the fight to Goldust. Hotshot onto the security wall - point to self - spinning legdrop onto Goldust. RVD rolls him back in, covers, 1, 2, Goldust kicks out. Whip - reversed - Goldust charges but takes a back elbow. RVD to the second rope - leaps, but misses the dropkick and Goldust has him by the legs. Catapult throws RVD into the ropes, bounces back, and lands right on Goldust's knees! Goldust whips RVD head first into the turnbuckle and stomps away at the back and midsection. Choke with the boot, referee breaks it up. Whip - RVD avoids the backdrop - Goldust ducks the spinkick, and nails both an inverted atomic drop and clothesline back to back. Cover, 1, 2, kick out. Darn. Goldust with a big right hand - whip - RVD faceplants him instead of getting backdropped. Goldust goes for a kick - blocked - stepover spinkick connects. Whip is reversed, RVD gets a boot up as Goldust blind charges, and he leaps tall turnbuckles in a single bound! Single leg dropkick hits - off the ropes - senton backsplash connects. Cover, 1, 2, Goldust is alive! Scoop slam is avoided and RVD nails Goldust with a spinkick. To the top rope he goes, and I sense the end is near. Five Star Frog Splash, cover, 1, 2, 3.

Time: 3:39

Lots of questions will be answered tomorrow night about Judgement Day on RAW. 9:00pm on TNN or TSN. Goodnight!