Boy don't I suck… I *honestly* meant to watch all of Smackdown! but then my dad had this birthday thing, so I thought I should come home and make him feel special and stuff. I'm sweet like that. So it's 9:18 - meaning I'll get the last 40 minutes of the show. Please don't e-mail me and tell me what I missed, I'm going to see it on Excess and even if I hate it, at least it means it's fresh and new.

I guess these things have a way of working out…unless they air the last 40 minutes of Smackdown! on Excess. (And I wouldn't put it past them.)

Let's roll!

But wait, first…

MAIL CALL

"i must have been a little to high for my own good but i don't recall hearing the playing of austin's old song. Was it his old old song (1996-1999) or the Disturbed version. I caught the "without the step off" thing you wrote but does that mean it was instrumental disturbed? Why I need to know is beyond me but I am curious. thanks. what?" - Bill Dearth

I think it was an instrumental version of Disturbed. It's been awhile since I've heard 96-99 but I seem to remember that one being a little more down tempo.

THE WOMEN OF ROSWELL - WHO THE HELL CARES?

Booka T is walking around backstage. He finds Mr. McMahon's room - only to discover Ric Flair behind the door. Vince is gone. Booker hates Austin's guts, so he has to talk to Vince. Vince is gone, because he got "rear ended". Man, I REALLY don't want to know. Booker had a great time hotwiring Steve's care. Flair isn't looking at applications tonight, so he's not hiring. Whoo!

The Acolytes are playing cards. The Undertaker strolls by. Bradshaw wants an explination, which Undertaker has no plans of offering up. The Acolytes have been loyal and are pissed at Taker, because…? Undertaker challenges Bradshaw, and it's on! Wicked.

VISIT WWF.COM AND WATCH THE PAY-PER-VIEW FROM YOUR CPU

Also - make sure you have a decent internet connection.

Taker's new haircut looks…short. Get back to me once I've seen it for awhile. I hope it doesn't take the Big Show effect on him though. Taker beats Bradshaw all over the ring, and then outside of the ring. Bradshaw makes a brief comeback, but that doesn't last. Faarooq makes an appearance. He makes the deadly mistake of hopping on The Undertaker's motorcycle. Meanwhile, Bradshaw takes a chokeslam and gets pinned. Taker goes after his motorcycle which sits at the top of the ramp. From behind RVD attacks with a chair. And he gets…booed? Maybe it's these weird speakers here. I hear cheering following "RVD" but I SWEAR I thought I heard boos.

STEVE AUSTIN IS STILL MAKING SACRIFICES

He's made enough for one week. Someone give that man a break!

Sharmell Sullivan interviews Chris Jericho. He says that she is nothing, and means nothing to him. The only opinion that matters is that of Chris Jericho. His opinion is that he will walk off with the WWF World Heavyweight Title. He's going to become the biggest star in WWF history.

Up next, The Rock and Austin team up against Angle and Jericho. Hey, isn't this exactly how we built to Wrestlemania last year?

DROWNING POOL - LET THE SINNERS HIT THE FLOOR

Jericho's posing for the entrance now is so cool. So have the smarks prayers been answered with the heel turn, or are we all gonna bitch about THIS too?

Lawler says the smart money is with Kurt Angle. Sing it King!

Jericho and Angle start off by attacking Rocky before Austin makes his appearance. Stunner on Angle right away. 1, 2, Jericho breaks that stuff up. Jesus Rocky chops the hell out of Angle when given the chance! Actually, Austin's going to town on him as well. Does Kurt not feel the need to have a chest or something? He won't feel it in the morning. Austin appears to have more crowd support than Rocky. That would be a fine way to build Wrestlemania. Have Rocky bitch about the fact that Austin spent the year as a heel, and suddenly they love him again. Of course, Rocky would wind up being booed, which isn't a good idea at this point in time. Angle gets the Anglelock on forever, and Austin doesn't tap. Jericho gets a lowblow on Rocky and hits the Rock Bottom. Rocky comes back though, and gets a Sharpshooter on Jericho for the win. Angle throws a fit and gives Jericho an Olympic Slam. Rocky squares at Angle but doesn't do anything. Jericho is dead. Austin gives his beer to Rocky, and has another of his own. They toast eachother's titles and share a beer. Fans go nuts.

MAKE YOUR PAY-PER-VIEW PREDICTIONS

Same thing as every month. You make your picks, and I list the results after RAW, or whatever the next show is I wind up watching. E-mail your picks to the address at the bottom.

Good luck! As always, here's mine.

WWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE
Steve Austin (c) vs. Kurt Angle
MY PICK: Kurt Angle

WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE
The Rock (c) vs. Chris Jericho
MY PICK: The Rock

WWF WORLD TAG-TEAM TITLES
The Dudley Boyz (c) vs. The Big Show and Kane
MY PICK: The Dudley Boyz

WWF INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE
Edge (c) vs. William Regal
MY PICK: William Regal

WWF WOMEN'S TITLE
Trish Stratus (c) vs. Jacqueline
MY PICK: Trish Stratus

The Undertaker vs. Rob Van Dam
MY PICK: The Undertaker

Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy
MY PICK: Matt Hardy

SPECIAL BONUS MATCH
Get an extra point for predicting the overall winner of the mini tournament. (You can't get a loss)
MY PICK: Kurt Angle