|WRESTLING BITS AND BITES||WRITTEN: November 10, 2001|
I TOO GET LETTERS
"Is this THE Dave Meltzer? http://davidmeltzerphoto.com/" - Joseph Twiraga
"I like to think that snow should only fall on Dec. 24-26th. That makes life easier.; So does this make Test better than RVD?; I'm a huge Yanks fan but that shirt (and the heat it gathered) reeked of old-school heelness.; I, for one love the hurricane shtick and i'm glad he's turning face(?). Sadly the WWF missed another spot by not announcing that the Hurricane's joining the WWF (remember the big alliance meeting where they fired palumbo?). It makes a whole lot of sense to me.; Another MOLE??; It was a HEAT thing. I didnt see it but apparently Gunn came in to save Palumbo in a match and they fell in love. Cute. Yea, they're definetly Midnight Express 2001!; A Hardcore DQ!; When Rocky came out I glanced at the clock and there was muchos time left in the show. I instantly thought more "PYSCHOLOGY" but alas, they filled it with commercials. And of course Ross says that Jericho was making Rocky "play the waiting game". Oh, I guess that's the psychology... I love (heel) Y2J. And (heel) Angle for that matter." - Phil Monte Verde
I actually never put it together that it was a hardcore match with a DQ until after I read someone's recap (CRZ is my guess, he tends to catch that stuff) and got this e-mail. Clearly, the WWF never thought twice about it either.
"I wanted to throw this comment to you: Do you think that Vince and the team are coasting until they can sign some of the other talent from the old WCW? I know they would not let the show go to hell on purpose, but what if they have some directions to go in, but they involve Hall, Nash, Steiner or Flair for example. Do you think Vince, knowing that he really has no competition, would allow the WWF to coast with mediocre, half-assed shows for a few months thinking, in his mind, that they can somehow "make up some ground" after the beginning of next year. Let me know what you think." - Joe Garvey
They're nuts to believe they can coast and get away with it. You and I will keep watching through pretty much any crap they throw out - however a lot of fans won't and the ratings are really beginning to show that. Take a look at the ratings on Two Years Ago On (Nitro or RAW) that CRZ helpfully provides thanks to quarter hour breakdowns. At times they were pulling a COMBINED 10.0+. I swear, even Nitro in the days where everyone was declaring them dead would pull quarters higher than the WWF's overall rating today. The biz is on a downer right now and something has to be done. Vince cannot rely on the old faithful WCW names in my opinion, and he may "make up some ground" temporarily but I don't believe them to be a long term fix.
That doesn't mean I don't want to see some of the old guard back on TV mind you. ;-)
"Chris - don't believe anything anyone tells you about this topic. You and your brother are correct about Shane. By Shane performing (or trying to perform) various high spots like the Shooting Star Press, he minimizes the moves for the real wrestlers. There has to be some mystique, some "whoa" when you see Van Damintor or the Shooting Star Press or whatever. When Shane does these moves, the average Joe says, "well, geez, if Shane can do that, I could do that." It really takes some of the luster off of the image of wrestlers as "athletes." While I am not saying that Shane is a overweight slob or anything, he's just an average guy and if he can do these "amazing" spots, then it takes away from the real athletes. Rant over." - Greg Pizzo
You forgot to mention the fact he's stealing money from the performers. He gets paid regardless of what he does. The wrestlers get paid for wrestling. When their trademark spots are stolen, what's left. Kidman just doesn't seem as cool when he's not flattening people with the Shooting Star Press now does he? I know some of you may not appreciate hearing that, seeing as how some people like to think he's not a one move wrestler. However, that move is what got him to a position of being a star and I think it's as important to his character as anything else he does from a storyline standpoint.
It's time for WWF Smackdown!
No titles for segments this show. I'm feeling lazy.
On Monday, Vince has a big mouth and blows Steve Austin's cover by stating he'll rejoin the WWF at the Survivor Series. Who wants to bet money it IS Austin who turns back to the WWF? A double swerve swerve. My head hurts thinking about it. The Alliance does not take kindly to Vince McMahon's statement, except DDP who grins like the Cheshire cat.
Tonight, Kurt Angle and Steve Austin take on Kane and The Undertaker. Nothing on the line but company pride. (Figure THAT out)
The Acolytes are out with their large chested friend Jacqueline. They're taking on the Dudleys for the WCW World Tag-Team Titles which will undoubtedly lead to a title change. Excuse my cynicism, it's just rare to see the tag-titles NOT switch hands these days, except on PPV. I shell out my cash to see the champs go over, go figure. Who knew the titles NOT changing hands would be the selling point of a PPV? The tag-teams do some stuff, and it leads to a 3D and the Duds retain. Well, spank my ass and call me Judy, I didn't see THAT coming. The match was just fine. Seemed longer than TV matches I've seen lately as well, which is a good sign.
Steve Austin and Debra are backstage. She's drawing all over his notes. Tonight he's going to get information. Steve Regal joins him and Austin sends him to get everyone except Kurt Angle, Booker T, and Rob Van Dam.
Lita's backstage and Matt runs up. Tonight he has a chance at the IC Title and will win it from Test. She's upset because they're supposed to face Ivory and Lance Storm in a tag-team match. Listen here woman, this guy has a chance at capturing a once prestigious title and all you can thinking about is YOURSELF? Christ, don't bother Matt, just let her go!
William Regal leads a group of Alliance guys to the ring and calls Austin out to talk to them. Austin wants to know if the Alliance trusts him. Let's start with Chavo Guerrero Jr. He trusts Austin. Hugh Morrus has his finger up his nose. He trusts Austin. I heard Jimmy Hart doesn't trust Austin. I wonder if Hugh's out of the First Family. Hurricane doesn't hesitate when Austin asks him. Hurricane must be the mole. Stasiak is looking particularly sunburned today. He sneers and tells Austin he trusts him. Austin doesn't like the fact that Kidman's hair is greased back because Austin has no hair. He too trusts Austin. Now Tazz . Austin was walking past a monitor in the back and thought he heard Tazz talking trash. He calls Tazz to the ring. Tazz cuts him off. He has something to tell Austin no one else in this ring has the guts to tell him. I bet he hugs him. Tazz promises he won't like it. What? He didn't stutter. Oooooooh! Austin looks away and Tazz tells him he's right here. He's ballsy for a midget! Wasn't he a heel picking on Maven just 2 weeks ago? The Alliance doesn't like him. Not only that, but they're sick and tired of being treated like trailer park trash. Austin lives by a motto of Don't Trust Anyone. DTA now stands for Don't Trust Austin. Austin yuks it up with Bubba Ray Dudley. Now he laughs with Hugh but Hugh isn't laughing. Tazz again reminds Austin he's over here, so Austin stuns him and kicks the crap out of him. Hah! Justin Credible leaves the ring and everyone else follows. What a shit disturber that Justin Credible is! His influence is incredible mind you. DDP leaves and he's not even smiling. William Regal is the only man who stays behind. It's good Austin has one friend, especially considering what he did to him last January when he beat the piss out of him on the roof of a car and all.
Steve Austin is standing with Paul Heyman, and the McKids. Nobody helped him out in the ring. It proves to him no one's strong enough to jump to the WWF. Shane McMahon is sent to go and get Booker T. Paul Heyman has to get Rob Van Dam according to Austin's watch. Stephanie's job is to fetch Kurt Angle.
This is a Test. I don't like Matt Hardy's chances, despite the fact I'd really like to. JR has joined Michael Cole. Why? Go back to Oklahoma. Let oh I don't know, ANYONE else (besides The Coach) get a shot at announcing on a major show. Matt Hardy's all cocky and stuff. Is he practicing for a heel turn? Why can't Jeff turn? I don't like him and it'll justify my booing him. Test goes for the Pumphandle, and misses as usual. He NEVER hits that anymore. Test tries a pin with his feet on the ropes. It doesn't work so he gets all huffy and puffy at Chioda. Quick couple of misses on their finishers, and Matt hits the legdrop from the second rope for 2. Test gets up and levels Matt with the Big Boot for the pin.
Edge appears on the ramp and spears Test 'cause he's a poor sport. Edge's music plays, and reminds us all that Rob Zombie will be on RAW.
Steve Austin has found Booker T. Austin wants to know if Booker can break dance. Booker says yeah. Austin used to break dance as a kid. Austin wants to know if Booker's with Steve Austin or not. Booker says he is. So Austin reminds him of his first day in the WWF. Austin plays a tape showing the event and makes sound effects with every move Booker hits. He accuses Booker T of running to the WWF to be a big star. He asks Shane to tell him Austin did NOT just say that. That attack was FOR the Alliance. Everyone knows the mole is Rob Van Dam. Tonight Booker T has a chance to get the WCW World Heavyweight Title back to the Alliance against The Rock. As he leaves Shane tells Austin it's not Booker T.
Here's a video package reminding us about the match between Chris Jericho and Rocky on Monday.
Vince McMahon visits Rocky and tells him he's concerned about his health. He think it's a damn shame his kids are forcing him to defend the title against Booker T. Rocky tells him his concern for The Rock is as phony as his daughters breasts. Vince begs Rocky to let his problems with Chris Jericho go for the sake of the WWF. Rocky agrees. At Survivor Series, don't worry about him and Jericho. The only thing Vince needs to worry about is Jericho surviving at all.
Rob Van Dam is stretching. Booker T walks in and tells him face to face that he thinks he's the mole. Rob Van Dam tells Booker when he has something bad to say about him he'll come find him. Booker tells RVD he's jealous of him because he's about to become the 6 time champ. RVD wishes him good luck on behalf of the Alliance. His name isn't sucka it's RVD. Booker doesn't care.
Rocky and Booker T are fighting at the top of the hour. Okay, so this is the main event of SummerSlam but it's not even the main event on Smackdown!? It's sad to see the WWF lose such faith in this man who is a proven draw. I mean, just because the fans didn't accept his main event push out of the gate and chanted in masses that he sucks doesn't mean he EVER deserved this. Poor Rocky. The ref goes down, and Jericho runs in to beat the piss out of The Rock. I'm tired of people being made to look good at The Rock's expense. Damn politics. Tim White makes it to 2 before Rocky kicks out. Rocky gets a Sharpshooter on Booker, and RVD runs in for the DQ. RVD takes out Rocky, then hits a Froggie Splash on Booker. He turns around and takes a Rock Bottom. Jericho gets back in the ring and smacks Rocky with a chair. Who the hell is a heel and a face here? Booker T is a heel, and everyone else is a I'm really not sure. Argh
Moments ago, I got a headache.
Vince McMahon chats with Undertaker. Here's our new #1 face by default. Okay, maybe confusion isn't all bad. Kane isn't at the arena. What is he going to do? He's going to beat both their asses. Vince McMahon admires that and all, but thinks it's too much. Taker agrees it's not fair. Maybe they should get a couple of partners. Hahahaha! The only other thing he can think of, how about Vince be his partner? Vince isn't particularly comfortable with that idea (since when?) so Taker is sent out alone. By the way Vince, Taker is PISSED that Austin's been invited back into the WWF. Taker's been by his side for 11 years, and this guy's allowed back? Taker reminds Vince he knows everything he's done. Taker refuses to be conned and knows if Vince wants Austin back it's for his own gain. Taker refuses to promise not to take Austin out. THAT was a promo! Give him the World Title! Vince grins a whole lot.
It's evil music. William Regal graces us with his presence and sneers a whole lot. He's still commissioner Regal. Where's commissioner Foley? Let me guess, Vince is pissed because he found out about the radio reviews Foley's been giving isn't he? Regal calls out The Big Show. Oooooh baby, I can SOOOO live with this! I hope Regal works on his leg for about half an hour only to have Show come back and Chokeslam his ass for the win! A couple of Alliance guys run in and get killed by Show. Chokeslams for Stasiak and Kidman! Here come a million more Alliance members. This is a DQ win for Show in about 10 seconds. All these guys take Chokeslams! Regal escapes but Show is standing tall. Now THAT was cool! (But you didn't like it when Nash did it!) Yeah, well .ummm, uhhh, well see ooh, I have an excuse! Show is only 30 years old or something, he has a ton of years left! Yeah, that'll do. (Okay, I just like him more, sue me.)
RVD has a scheduled meeting with Austin.
The Weakest Link will have WWF Stars on Monday.
Matt's bell was rung. However, he's good for the mixed tag match with Lita tonight. Nope, she's already found a replacement with Jeff Hardy. So?
Vince talks to The Big Show and gives him his place on Team WWF. It would be an honor for Show to take that place. He hugs Vince and Vince is disgusted.
Austin watches the monitor and flips out at Show being put on the WWF team. Heyman delivers RVD. Austin offers a seat to RVD, and turns on interrogation lights. RVD doesn't know what it is, but believes it to be a tanning system. Austin's watch is talking. He wants to know what his problems with Booker T are. Austin accuses him of being the mole in the Alliance. He rides with McMahon in a limo. RVD rolls his eyes a whole lot. RVD accuses Austin of being the man who's going to turn. Austin sends him away.
Wrestlemania is sold out apparently. Well, so much for MY theory of waiting until I had money to get tickets. I may have already bitched on Monday, and if I did, tough, I'm doing it again.
Those Punk Kids come out and buck their hips a whole lot. Ivory and Lance Storm come down and get the jobber entrance treatment. Hey Jeff, those threads are SOOOOO 3 weeks ago. Get with the times yo. Jeff hits a sweet pinning predicament on Storm but gets 2 when Ivory breaks it up. JR notes that Jeff is the only wrestler he sees wrestle with a cap. Is that to say that Scotty 2 Hotty is on the chopping block? Lita pins Ivory to get her heat back from all those wins by Ivory or something.
Christian stands with The Coach *groan*. From here on out you'll refer to him as CHRISTIAN Champion Of Europe. He's going to dismember Tajiri. He's going to show New Jersey his jersey.
The Cruiserweights go out and wrestle a 15 minute match in about 5 minutes (maybe less, I didn't time it) which means it was smokin' but didn't tell me much of a story. Man, give this a PPV style buildup and I'd shell out SIXTY bucks for it!
Steve Austin walks backstage. Stephanie has found Kurt and Steve wonders if they've been warming up together. Austin accuses Kurt of being the mole. Kurt tells Austin to take his hat and shove it.
The Undertaker comes out. If anyone can give me an ORIGINAL reason why he should wear the World Title (I'm tired of hearing the same old complaints - believe me, in comparison with Hulk Hogan whom we all bitched about for years, it's like looking at apples and oranges.) I'd like to hear it. Let the man have a run, and then ride off into the sunset on his bike with his hot wife. Austin tricks Angle into getting his ass kicked by The Undertaker. The boys are having severe communication problems - by which I mean what they have here is a failure to communicate. Taker's kicking serious ass here. Finally they get on track and use EVIL double team tactics on UT. Angle suplexes him all over the ring, and they both wind up down. Austin is tagged in and gets his ass kicked. Now both men in again and they're once again getting killed. Austin goes for a Stunner, which Taker shoves off and he bumps into Angle. Taker rolls him up for the 3!!!! TAKER WON! Angle and Austin beat him up post match then KURT takes a Stunner!
So is Kurt a face again? Is Austin a heel for stunning a heel? Who am I supposed to root for at the Survivor Series? (The Big Show) Gotcha!