WRESTLING BITS AND BITES WRITTEN: September 27, 2001

NOTES TO YOU

- Yes, I've been very disgusted with the state of wrestling lately - or more importantly Stephanie McMahon. Come on Steph, can't you hang back until HHH is ready to return? I realize YOU believe you're an important part to the Alliance faction - but you're not. The wrestlers are. They have Shane and Paul as mouth pieces, they do not need a third. I was so close to turning off my television Monday night when she walked out it was ridiculous. I don't like feeling that one character is ruining the show for me, but I am. However, it's a new night. I'm in a relatively neutral mode. It's up to the WWF now to capitalize on this and turn me one way or the other.

I TOO GET LETTERS

Alert reader Adam Forrai has an opinion about free World Title changes:

"I've been reading your articles for a while and this is the first time I've emailed you. One topic that caught my eye in your latest "Wrestling Bits and Bytes" was that the WWF title never changes hand on free TV. This has been in my mind for months. I personally think the title needs to change hands on free TV to keep the matches less predictable and more exciting. I'm not saying change all the time, but 2-3 a year wouldn't hurt, would it?

A correction, the Angle/Booker T match wasn't the fourth time, it was the fifth. Their first was at Atlanta 2 weeks before the Invasion PPV. Second was on SD! at Pittsburgh where Angle won the WCW title. Third was on RAW the next week where Nappy T (god, I hate it when he wears the white trunks) got the title back. Fourth was at the end of August on SD!, and the fifth was recently on RAW."

Yes, the matches shouldn't be predictable and most definitely should be exciting, but if they start whoring the title around, you're back in a situation where people complain about instability. It's hard to win with WWF fans. (Myself included) I don't think it needs to change for free more than once a year personally, but then again I don't believe it needs to change more than 3 times a year PERIOD. It's been a wonderful 18 months to be a WWF fan generally speaking with the title MEANING something once again.

Thank you for the correction on the Booker T / Kurt Angle series. Frankly I hate it when Booker wears trunks at all! I don't hear a lot of complaints about the dress of wrestlers - but I think it would be REALLY COOL if the WWF asked Booker to return to the long tights. Oops, enough ranting, Smackdown!'s starting and I don't have a VCR tonight.

SMACDOWN'S STARTING AND I DON'T HAVE A VCR TONIGHT

(You just said that) I KNOW, but if I keep saying it I'll get my point across.

It's The Undertaker and Kane out to kick things off. Protecting his spot my ass - he's in the same spot as the Hardyz, in that he's being sent out in openers to excite the crowd. Looks to me like he's found his niche. They're taking on Booker T and Test for the WCW World Tag-Team Titles. For the love of god are the titles going to change AGAIN? Booker uses a GREAT heel tactic driving his fingers into Taker's eyes like a bowling ball and shoving him back. Ha! Taker goes Old School - how DOES a man his size do that so often without tripping? I just noticed Paul Heyman's on color - is there any reason that Tazz isn't doing his job tonight? Shane takes a Last Ride - only to see Booker clock the Taker and win the WCW World Tag-Team Titles. That makes Booker T an 11 time champion.

If I can go off on a tangent, I'd like to point out that Kane sold a lot less than Undertaker in that match, and Taker jobbed both sets of titles away. But I bet it's all a big political play by the Taker to get the online fans to lay off him. Well he's NOT FOOLING ME! What an old bastard, he should retire.

MOMENTS AGO THE WCW STOLE THE WCW TITLES

A limo was in the parking lot during the break. Alas it didn't belong to Ric Flair, but rather Shane McMahon who quickly whisked Nick Patrick and the new champs away to some unknown location.

Last Sunday, Earl Hebner screwed Steve Austin out of the WWF Title. Gee, I bet Bret's heart bleeds for you Steve! Hey, I made a pun!

Commissioner Regal is sneering at Lillian Garcia. He's wielding his power to force the Dudleys to defend their tag-team titles against Kurt Angle and The Rock. You know, if he REALLY wanted to send a message he could put the Triad style rules in place and have them defend against Rocky, Angle, Taker, Kane, Jericho, and Spike Dudley. (Why Spike?) Because it wouldn't be a Dudleys title defence without Little Spike jobbing somewhere, DUH!

DURING THE LAST SEGMENT I FORGOT TO MENTION REGAL GOT A BIG POP

Oh yeah, Regal got a pop. A big one.

Rhyno, RVD, and Kanyon spread rumors about Steve Austin. Kanyon thanks RVD for his help, and admits that Lita's got a thing for him. Geez, Dean Malenko must be fuming in that retirement home right about now.

Time for a match. Rhyno and Kanyon are taking on Those Punk Kids. Kanyon chases around Lita for awhile, then gets beaten up for awhile. Jeff Hardy wears a wifebeater 'cause he thinks he's white trash. Maybe he could tag with DDP for awhile? Matt Hardy yells HOOOOOOO before he goes for the Twist Of Fate. Maybe he could tag with Hacksaw for awhile? Oh yeah, the Old Glory Twist Of Fate wins the match. Matt hugs Lita - probably to make Kanyon jealous.

Regal drinks tea. X-Pac wants a rematch with him. X-Pac has to fight Big Show. OH LORDY YES! The WWF reads my column!!! Putting 2 of my favorite wrestlers in the ring at the same time? Automatic *****!

FUTURESHOP SUCKS

Sorry, I saw a commercial for them during the break. They don't believe in honouring warranties - so I just thought I'd slander their name for awhile in this public forum.

We're back on Smackdown! A limo is here - and it's Christian! Some kid wants his autograph. Christian tells him NO. That's funny. Now, I hope he signs something for ME when he comes to town.

X-Pac is still a dual champion - at least that title is somewhat stable. He and the Big Show are set to go. Man, I REALLY wish I was taping tonight's show! For those who believe this to be sarcasm, please think again. X-Pac goes for a Bronco Buster but he gets set up for a Chokeslam instead. Albert interferes, but that doesn't stop Show from Chokeslamming and pinning X-Pac off a spinning heel kick attempt. Oh man, this should have been an ironman contest - I could watch those 2 fight ALL NIGHT!

Oh yeah, and Little Show's tights SUCK.

Stephanie comes into RVD's locker room showing off a lot of cleavage. Well, if she has to be on TV, it's probably for the best her breasts are protruding from her clothes. RVD doesn't want her help. You tell her Rob! Keep her off TV!

IT'S THE ROCK AND HIS BIG GOLD BELT

Kurt Angle has invaded Rocky's locker room. Rock congratulates Kurt Angle for winning the title. Kurt tells Rocky he knows a place they can go after the show to get strudel. Rocky is COMPLETELY against this idea - he's a pie man. Rocky doesn't seem particularly in character tonight. He seems to be having fun and laid back. I always like this Rock more than the others. Kurt promises to grab the first big jugs of milk he sees. Ahhh, sexual innuendos - gets a smile out of me every time when well executed. That bit kinda reminded me of Christian's Nuts from No Mercy 2000.

My Time hits. Don't push your luck woman. She gets on commentary - and I'm feeling my patience being tested. RVD seems annoyed by her presence. Glad I'm not alone. Jericho comes out - and they do the Y2J entrance I love - where they fade from the video to Jericho rather than pan down. RVD and Jericho start by running through their PPV matchup all over again, complete with posedown for applause. Jericho hits one of the CRAZIEST German suplexes I've EVER seen! If it was anyone other than RVD taking that one, I'd fear for their health. With RVD though I get the feeling he's a little more flexible than the average wrestler. Stephanie brings up her husband but doesn't talk about him. Jericho gets the Walls on RVD, so Stephanie feels the need to run in. *sigh* Well, she doesn't affect the outcome because the match keeps going after her run in. AWESOME bulldog on the chair! RVD finishes with a Van Daminator. Damn, I really thought Jericho had that one for awhile. The Alliance runs out to check on Stephanie. She gets carried to the back by a Hugh G. Rection. The WWF promo writing team can have that one for free.

SUMMERSLAM IS ON VIDEO ALREADY?

Hell, I haven't even seen anything past the Royal Rumble for sale anywhere. I know these videos apparently exist, but man they're hard to find in Ottawa. Not that I have any money for videos anyway.

Stephanie orders the Alliance around a whole lot. Can we call this group the New Misfits In Action?

DDP is smiling at the screen. Those are some pearly whites there Page. We're going to see why DDP has never had a bad day. I get the feeling we're taking a HUGE extension of his personality here. I'm not exactly sure how this puts over his WRESTLING, but it's cute.

Christian talks with some guy. Edge meanwhile is talking with Steve Lombardi. Edge isn't leaving the arena until Christian's whole body looks like his eye. Christian makes like a tree and leaves. HAHAHA!

IT'S TIME FOR THAT REALLY LONG COMMERCIAL BREAK THAT HAPPENS HALFWAY THROUGH SMACKDOWN!

I hate that 6 minute break. Is it not possible to evenly spread commercials? I've noted though this is only really a problem with The Score.

Christian offers money to Bradshaw for protection. Bradshaw's fired up though and won't take it after the way he treated Edge. When did he become sensitive?

Molly Holly is taking on Ivory. By the way, I have since had confirmed that the move I saw on Monday was indeed the Molly Go Round, so thank you to CRZ for knowing moves. Ivory wins - and Hurricane saves Molly. Ivory can't like that, but we don't get a chance for reaction. Hurricane drives her off in a sidecar attached to a motorcycle. Uh huh….

I AM GETTING A LITTLE SICK OF BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE

I really don't understand why the WWF had to choose that song - it was huge years ago.

Kurt Angle is back with Rocky. He didn't find any milk, but has his book for him. Let's hope Al Snow doesn't get his hands on it.

Bradshaw and Christian are set to lock up for the IC Title. Apparently to keep getting PPV I have to disconnect the cable at the back of my TV - I SWEAR I get that message right now. I'm glad I don't have a satellite dish. Bradshaw lays a beating on Christian. Heyman mentions that guys from Texas don't deserve WWF Title matches - so Cole mentions Austin. Heyman flips out because Cole's obsessed with Austin. Teddy Long wants to keep this one in the ring - but it's all over the arena. Heyman's screaming about the fact there's no rules anymore. Christian gets in his limo and leaves. Well, sort of. The limo stops - and shakes. Christian tries to escape but an arm pulls him back in. Christian finally gets away, and the door opens revealing Edge! Cool segment.

HE WAS HUMBLED AT AN EARLY AGE AND NOW HE'S KURT ANGLE

True story - and you can read this story in a book. I forgot which one.

Kurt Angle tells Steve Austin if he wants the title back he can kiss his red, white, and blue ass. Rocky is out - WWF World Tag-Team Titles are on the line next!

ANOTHER LIMO IS HERE

This is the third tonight? Jesus - the wrestlers are getting paid TOO MUCH MONEY if they can all afford limos!

The Dudleys are out, and it's time for the main event with about 20 minutes left in the show. Nice! Please don't end on a Sportz Entertainment note. The crowd is really hot for this one. Also, one more request if it's not too much - please don't change the tag-team titles again. I've got a really bad feeling the WWF has other plans though. We have some heel miscommunication that the Dudleys never had when they were babyfaces. And who said heel turns were a good thing? Big brawl on the floor - and you know, Heyman's right. Look at Wrestlemania, the original, and check what was a DQ back then. Now? It's damn near impossible to get DQed. People's Elbow from Rocky, a cover and NO Buh Buh breaks it up! Anglelock on Buh Buh! Sharpshooter on D-Von! This is a GREAT visual! Here comes the Alliance to save the titles. Dudleys indeed do retain. Still, WOW! Awesome matchup - good 15 minutes worth of action.

GREAT FRICKIN' SHOW! Final match was PPV quality, Jericho and RVD was fantastic, and Big Show vs. X-Pac is a dream match of mind!

Keep it going.