|WRESTLING BITS AND BITES||WRITTEN: August 6, 2001|
I TOO GET LETTERS
Last week I was looking for the REAL name to Van Hammer's Flashback. I got a number of responses that I was going to post here, HOWEVER my server got cute and deleted my entire inbox. That's something that's never happened to me before and I don't understand it. Whatever... The concensus was pretty much that double leg slam, as stupid as that sounds, is indeed the name of the move. Yuck. One reader suggested the spinebomb, which sounds kinda cool but I'd like to hear it sold as that on TV a few times before I make a decision on that. UNFORTUNATELY I do not weild the power to get JR to say "spinebomb".
FINAL COMMENTS BEFORE THE SHOW
What is with the racist card being played so often lately out on the EZBoard? When you find a wrestler in the WWF who's over enough to carry the World strap who's name isn't Booker T or The Rock and is black and you still find him being held down, then you might have a point. Until then, I don't want to hear about it anymore. Looking at history is pointless - times change. Go with what they're doing today. Thank you!
WE ARE LIVE WITH THE BROTHER OF THE WALKING DEAD
Kane to kick off a show? Ahhh, okay, I figured it was an interview segment which is what confused the hell out of me. Okay, Heyman immitating Van Dam is a little annoying. DAMMIT I was hoping they'd powerbomb him on the floor. That would have been an awesome spot. I have a request to the WWF after seeing this match for all of 2 minutes - and that is when pushing a guy as a spot machine, don't have him face Kane. I can't even begin to imagine this on PPV for 10 minutes. Well he landed the Van Daminator in the corner fairly well, however Kane doesn't have to do much to sell that one. *sigh* OF COURSE Page runs in - Van Dam could NEVER beat Kane cleanly. I almost expected the ref to ring the bell at the run in despite the match being a hardcore match. Boy, Kane sure recovered in a damn hurry didn't he?
DEBRA HAS MOXY
I didn't see Smackdown, cause as I mentioned in tape review I did (I don't remember which one...) my cable system in Quebec doesn't pick up The Score or UPN. So this stuff is all new to me. Dear god, Debra wasn't completely useless on Smackdown! I hope they have a damn good relationship in real life though, because on screen fights can lead to real life backstage turmoil. I'm STILL shocked Linda and Vince managed to survive that stuff last winter to be honest. I'm never an advocate to real life couples fighting on screen simply because the risk of it going home with them is there.
BOOKER T GOES HOLLYWOOD
That was an, umm, interesting segment but it doesn't really do anything for him, in my opinion.
STEPHANIE HAS NEW MUSIC
MAN she looks hot tonight!!! Keep the ponytail! Rocky is afraid of Booker T and the Alliance says Steph. The Rock is also afraid of Shane tonight. He didn't seem frightened the last 4 or 5 times they fought. Shane is a gladiator. And Vince is a jackhammer. What would that make Linda? Here comes Jericho cause he has the hots for Stephanie. Here come the slut jokes - boy I wouldn't have called THAT one! When her body hits the floor, it's naked with a paying customer. Would it be wrong of me to ask how much? I can seriously feel the sexual tension between these 2. I'm waiting for HHH to bumrush him. What the hell is this??? Heyman and JR ask the exact same thing. I REALLY hope it's Hall and Nash, but they're too short. It's a pie to the face and Stephanie sells it like her husband was just shot and it's his blood on her hands. So the apes were no one in particular? That's a huge letdown actually.
SPEAKING OF THE APES
Here's Lita and Debra. Lita and Debra start to fight, which makes me wonder if they're really gonna go through with the women's tourney that's been rumored. To continue to leave me wondering, Jackie takes on the WCW chicks. I really think if Sarah can wrestle then get the title to her. But Jackie vs. Lita seems to be the most likely route to take at this point.
X-Pac's looking for competition. Good! I hope using X-Pac is getting the lightheavyweight division over. Tajiri says X-Pac sucks! Are there gonna be any belts on the line because THIS is the boost the division needs.
WOMEN AND HANDICAPS
Tonight's show isn't about wrestling, it's about turning me on as much as possible it seems. Which is good if I'm watching porn, bad if I'm watching WRESTLING! Well, RTC is dead. This confirms it. Ivory turns on the WWF and JR doesn't believe it. Why the hell not you baffoon? They MUST be going for the tourney, but change what I said a couple paragraphs back to Ivory vs. Lita.
I heard about this segment on Smackdown. This is retarded, I'm sorry. This is NOT DDP in the least. DDP's character was stale - there's no 2 ways about it - but he is so abnormally out of place with this Sarah loving stuff it's ridiculous. At least he doesn't SEEM uncomfortable. I'd much rather see Steiner stalking a chick though... Maybe not in a shrine way, just as a freaky big guy who won't go away. He's made for that role, not Page.
TERRI'S IN NEW YORK
GO HEYMAN!!!! He's saying EVERYTHING I've been wanting to hear said to Terri for ages. Oh man, I dunno if I'm gonna stop laughing to get some thoughts on next segment.
I'm SO trying to listen to these 2, but I'm STILL laughing about Heyman's tirade. Debra's lying about Lita to get Steve riled up. Austin wants a piece of Matt Hardy. I don't care.
BOOKER T STILL GOES HOLLYWOOD
Oh boy, I thought we were done with this. Haha, I'm already in a laughing mood, I didn't need that line about the dumbass Rock in the Mummy movie coming up too! The segment was a little dry, but that line saved it. Now can we PLEASE forget the movie stuff? And can we PLEASE have another match? I refuse to count the women's match as a "match". Give me Tajiri vs. X-Pac NOW!
STEPHANIE IS WAR
The fans add an Oh My for Buh Buh. Fans rule. Jericho gets a partner of his choice against the Dudleys. My guess is The Big Show. I'm REALLY tired of Jericho vs. Dudleys.
X-PAC SUCKS (EVEN THE JAPANESE KNOW IT)
He's got his old music back. About damn time! Chuckie Robinson is our ref. Is X-Pac jumping to WCW I wonder? I read that X-Pac said he could outbabyface the promotion if he was asked to. I hope he doesn't go face, because by default as a smark I won't be allowed to cheer for X-Pac anymore. And isn't that what being a smark is all about? There's the mist, DQ that man! Tajiri's the new WWF Lightheavyweight Champion. Excellent. European gold is the next step for that man.
AND ON THE TOPIC OF EUROPEAN CHAMPIONS
Matt Hardy sticks up for Lita. Therefore, he fights Austin tonight, because Austin can make matches and all. I almost wish it was Jeff Hardy, just to watch him get his ass handed to him.
BOOKER T READS SCRIPTS
Oh for god sakes. Is that actress playing Lady Bianca or whatever Lisa Brenner? If it's not, she looks an AWFUL lot like her. (Lisa Brenner played the role of Maggie Cory on Another World. "And you'd know this because....?" Shut up.)
JERICHO AND MYSTERY PARTNER DU JOUR
I still have my money on Big Show. He seems to be the popular mystery partner. I suppose it could be Spike but that would be retarded on his part. I suggest he just go at it alone, he won last time he did. Oh, it's Kurt! Christ, I'd forgotten about him. Unless the Dudleys can find a good angle to work with soon, they're gonna be glorified midcarders / jobbers for awhile. Which is okay, everyone needs a strong midcard. Hey, Rhyno remembered he has issues with Jericho. Angle comes in, finishes everything off, and gets the heat from the match. Poor Jericho can't win even when he does win. The moonsault hit unbelievably perfect. I'm impressed.
IT'S ALL A MISUNDERSTANDING
Austin's VERY intimidating. They have to keep the World Title on this guy as long as they can without wearing it out. The reason being, when he DOES lose, it will be a huge moment and celebration of the year. Like Flair FINALLY taking out Bischoff on the last Nitro of 98.
CHRISTIAN'S A HEEL TONIGHT
I think he's setting Storm up to be honest. Sure enough, Lance got pantsed! Forget that stuff about Christian being a heel. I really like what they've done with Storm. It's not that much of a switch from his WCW persona, which is great, considering the number of guys from ECWCWwho's characters have done a 360. (Or in Van Dams case a 420. HAHAHAHAHA! Pot jokes are hip yo!) They took awhile on the finish there, and Christian's shoulders were pinned for an eternity before Patrick counted, but it's the thought of cheating that counts completely. :-)
IT'S THE UNDERTAKER
Does he usually wait until 10:20 to show up? Taker's decided this has gone on long enough and is going after Page and his shrine.
ANGLE DOESN'T LIKE THE ROCK
The Rock wants to know why Angle doesn't like him. Well, DUH, because he's a bully. He has a secret weapon for Shane. MILK! The Rock should say Thank You. Hey, he does. He's being nice? What the hell? I like it, it shows he's human and not above the world, but I'm just shocked.
AUSTIN'S A LIAR!
I get the feeling we're gonna get a mixed tag-team match between Lita/Hardy and Austin/Debra on Smackdown - you heard it here first.
UNDERTAKER GOES NUTS
Talk about a man possessed. Now that's not particularly nice, I mean that stuff does belong to Page right? HOLY HELL that was a stiff punch to Page! Kanyon and Page are friends now? I'm glad they talked out their differences and managed to band together.
I suppose Matt COULD go over cleanly here in defence of Lita, but I wouldn't bet money on it. He gave Lita a Stunner, and TSN DIDN'T SENSOR IT!!! Maybe Quebec is special? If that's the case Quebec's not as bad as everyone claims it is. That match pretty much solidified how strong Austin's momentum is at this point. This is perhaps the best World Title run I've seen since HHH's run last year in terms of how much the champion appears to be towering over the fed.
BOOKER T IS STILL READING SCRIPTS
Booker T doesn't need this, cause he's more talented than The Rock. Are you his butler she asks? It must be RACISM right guys? The girls do a cheesy scream and run away as Booker slaps the director.
Shane McMahon says he's been doing more in the past 4 months than The Rock. The Rock promises to send Shane home with a boot in his ass. And we take a commercial break. Ho hum....... We're back. Shane's carrying a kendo stick, and The Rock carries nothing cause he's a moron. He twirled his stick far too much, the showoff. Oops! Now, Shane's knocked out of the ring and Rock is left all alone with that stick. So he DOESN'T use it of course. He does however set up the announce table to be crashed down through. Heyman mentions Shane's from the mean streets of Grenich. Is that a hint the Posse is hiding in the crowd? I mean, since the WWF released them and all that DOES mean they're fair game to be signed by the Alliance right? We're going through the crowd and I've lost site of The Rock and Earl. Oh, there he is, hiding in the shadows, proving my Sting theory wasn't completely off the mark. Why is Ross suddenly selling the Alliance guys as tough and what not? He's been doing it all night long, after dogging them for weeks. Shane for the SECOND time shows off too long and gets beat down for it. Even through a Booker T run in, we have a Rock Bottom for Shane, and that's all she wrote. We have Booker T beat down The Rock afterwards. Shane McMahon goes flying to piss me off. I HATE IT when Shane does those "can you top this" spots, because they're becoming more and more meaningless every single time we see them.
I dunno, this show left me feeling a little dry. I need more wrestling, as I can only take so much Sportz Entertainment in one sitting. I bet this show gets glowing reviews from the online family though, cause we normally agree to disagree on shows. Maybe not. Either way, see ya next week!